holy accumulation, batman!

so...i love maine because:

the weather says, "light snow tonight, but no accumulation"

the ground/cars say, "umm...we're all covered again..."

the college park parking lot says, "that's right, that ice that you could see earlier today?...haha...totally covered with snow now. good luck!"

my lungs say, "we don't like this."

the snow says, "skwunch. skwunch. skwunch. skwunch..." (that's the phonetic spelling for the sound of footfall in snow)

academic disease

diagnosis: failed annotated bibliography

prescription: 2 days in library, 2 days thinking about project, 2 days writing

follow up: copy of paper in professor's box on thursday, await further recommendations through email correspondence

long term plan: final project mailed to professor's home address by december 30th, not before

doseage instructions: days in library must be full days, beginning at 8:20am thursday. patient advised not to leave the state without one suitcase of books and one suitcase of clothes/living items

prognosis: not good, but if patient survives, the odds of re-contracting are low

i bought art today!

beth and i went to a super sweet Starving Artists' Art Sale in old town today and i kind of spent some money... see what you think:



close-ups

8x10


12x16


24x20

and my own personal piece of artwork:


oh the dangers of living in maine. i got the car out though!

when something needs to be done

i can't stop messing with this damn blog.

today = mixed results

good - i got out of scary class for next semester and into awesome class.
good - i delivered my car from it's icy grave.
good - my students wrote great in class essays and are all (mostly all) going to pass my class.

bad - my outfit today was decidedly un-ironed and ill-fitting.
bad - i'm literally failing carla's class.
bad - since i'm failing carla's class, i had to miss sex and the city night in order to stay in, stress, and read.

ugly - my roots are quite bad. i now have dirty blonde roots/old red roots/brown hair. it's not hot.
ugly - my skin is revolting against winter and is quite dry.
ugly - my winter clothes/boots/accessories are so horrifically bright and unmatching that i'm pretty sure that even people who don't know me recognize me when i walk to and from school.

exciting - i leave orono maine in 11 days.
exciting - i finish this semester in 11 days.

horrifying - i turn in carla's paper in 11 days.

snow #2

day 2 of winter blast '07. much more snow. much more unruly. much more fun.

observe:

this is what it looked like when i woke up.


only classes starting before 10am were canceled, so i bundled up

(can't i look tough when i want to?)

and started the walk to campus.

the snow was pretty deep (mid-calf where it isn't shoveled) but my shortcut was manageable. yay! and i even happened upon some children playing. so cute.

i finally made it to the giant parking lot to find it empty, but unshoveled (since yesterday) and very slippery.

alas, i finally made it in to pat's class at 11am. around 12ish, matt and i had a snowball fight outside the english building. he took this picture.

so...the snow has stopped for now and it's supposed to snow a little bit more tomorrow and then warm up. we'll see! i think i'll keep walking b/c it was actually a lot of fun. sure there is a good deal of slipping going on, but that just makes it more exciting!

snow blog #1

these are early morning snow pictures. it's certainly much deeper now, but it's been dark for a while now. no recent pictures. i'll take more tomorrow and try to make them more fun. :)

the view from my apartment window at 7am:


the walk in at 8am:


my car, after only being on campus for a few hours:


of course, i took awkward pictures of other people, but none of them are good. didn't take any of myself, but i'll work on that.

from school, i had to go down the street to talk to laurie and amy about stuculty stuff. my car got stuck in her driveway and we definitely had to shovel it out. that was kind of ridiculous. also, matt started calling me 'virginia' today because I wanted pictures of the snow. i've decided that i'm going to walk to school from now on, unless it's raining b/c there is nothing that i hate more than rain. finally, and then i must get back to carla-land, there are a few guys on in the college park parking lot playing beer pong. i think they are pretty excited to not have school tomorrow. it's not a done deal yet, but i think we can all see it coming.

i'll keep you posted on snow news.

oh, and my students said that the winter will continue through the spring semester. like, all the way through. one girl said it snowed on her birthday in may.

it's going to be one hell of a winter.

that last one isn't worth continuing

i should really be grading papers. or reading for carla's class, but instead, i blog.

so, i know that my recent excitement over racquetball is a bit new and different for me, but it gets even better. yesterday was sarah's birthday so she had a bunch of people over to her apartment to drink and play games and chill. it was really a lot of fun. evan's wife came and i hadn't ever talked to her before.

anyway...several hours into this shindig, mike, his wife karen, and heather showed up. well, mike is one of the crazy racquetball players so the conversation quickly turned to the sport. he then started talking about his newest idea to assemble a team for the floor hockey intermurals. then, get this, he starts hounding me to join the team. ME! in reality, i think he just needs a certain number of girls to be able to play in the co-ed grouping, but really. here's the funniest bit, i think i agreed to try it. do you want to know what clinched it for me? the shirts. he told me that i could design the shirts and that we could have our names (or the silly name of our choice) and a number. that's really just too fun. so far our team name is "the iceholes". that's right, we're really lame. but maybe we will look cool? i don't know, i'm pretty sure i'm just going to get hit in the face. i asked about that and mike said, "oh, it's a rubber ball, it won't hurt." riiiiiight.

what have i gotten myself into?

the word "meager" is in the title, right?

october 7th was...a while ago. my bad. :)

i cleaned my apartment a bit tonight.

i have good friends. some here (VERY FEW here) and many all other places. but i'm lucky to have as many as i do.

there are two things i should do on a more regular basis: dishes and laundry. also making mixed cds. that's just an extra one for sanity's sake.

i have literally started counting the days until i get on the plane. it's 29. like the month of february. but that's totally do-able. what doesn't kill you and whatnot.

the soundtrack to shortbus is about the best cd ever. just so ya know.

in particularly stressful times, i develop particularly stressful psycho-somatic conditions that further complicate my everday activities. in past years, it has been things like eye twitches, pulled/strained muscles in various places, and asthma. well...the eye twitch started a few days ago and i thought, well, right on time. then i rounded today off with another headache. i'm not sure what i'm doing wrong, but the headaches are fairly regular. no good. it's hard to read critical theory when your brain hates you. also, as i've been walking to school, the asthma has snuck up on me a couple of times. apparently, i'm just not a very together person. it's kinda funny, actually. but also aggravating. o_0

oh well, such is life! my outlook is positive for the most part. and i'm totally looking forward to teaching jack the ripper next semester. and i'm really super looking forward to passing the kids who don't think they are going to pass my class. hopefully i can make a bunch of their days. haha.

and in 29 days, i will be getting off a plane in va! there is always that.

peace out, bitches. i promise to try to do better.

... (it's a theory thing, but i can't remember whose)

i can be alone, yeah, on my own. i can watch a sunset on my own.

today was something.

i went the grocery store and walked out with a box of cereal and a bottle of wine.

i might be loosing touch.

and i'm consciously not stacking books.

spivak makes me feel subaltern. to her.

dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. i think i spelled that right.

i do know why i love that movie, because it's so close. so close.

sharpie journaling. always messy. pages are too thin.

i don't do poetry.

oh, academics.

off (oft) to be someone else's (k)night.

i can be alone, yeah, on my own. i can watch a sunset on my own.

mika, miKA, MIKA

i dare you to watch this video without smiling.



must be something about those lebanese...

better than what i could write myself

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

-Grace Kelly, MIKA

a short poem for you, my loves

netflix is trying to fail me.

i swear it's true.

i watched 2 episodes of the l word today.

then i went to the poker game.

at the poker game, mark tells me to netflix pam grier's prison movies.

i say, she's in my show.

what show? they ask.

see what i mean about the netflix?

try not to be jealous

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Do you see what's so special about The Weekly today? That's right...yours truly is above the fold!
Hahaha...here is a closeup, but I think the original is actually a bit more clear.

Just so you know, that is not at all what I said. But, such is life when you are quoted in the papers. It happens all the time. Also, I wore my hair like that one day since I've been in Maine. ONE DAY I decide to try something new. Whatever, as the equally famous Sullivan says, when you live our lifestyle you have to know the photographers will show up when you let your guard down. Anyway, in the closeup picture, the goofball with the helmet and glasses is classic Maine, as is the guy diagonal from her. The girl diagonal from me is Big T. She is a fellow English 101 TA and we are currently negotiating a codependent relationship that is working well for both of us. So there! I do have friends!

my life on the (t)A list

--i spend almost as much time planning my outfit as i do planning the lesson.
--i'm trying very hard to remember that i am a student first. 5yr old mason: "but how can you be the teacher if you are the student????"
--i pride myself on being awkward in only the very best way. entertainingly awkward is very different from skin-crawling-counting-the-minutes awkward.
--if you visit my office, you can see a naked lady without paying. and no, that lady is most certainly not me.
--i got so heady when i randomly sat on my desk during class that i had to have my students do an in-class writing just so i could compose myself.
--i always ALWAYS erase the chalkboard in an up-down motion. if you don't know why that is important, try it both ways and report back.
--my hair is as fierce as ever. fellow ta: "if there was a Nobel Prize for hair, i would definitely nominate you."
--when the students started packing up one minute early the other day, i actually put both hands in the air like moses about to part the waters and yelled, "wait! we're not done yet!"
--everyone who has ever met me or (heaven forbid) seen me in action is hot for teacher.

and so it goes

well, first week down and i'm feeling pretty good. teaching is wonderful. we are actually going to be doing work work on monday and i'm really looking forward to it. i have a couple (one) problem students, but other than that, things are going really smoothly. according to amy, who walked by my classroom while i was teaching on friday, my students adore me. i'm not sure about all that, but it is early enough in their first-year lives that they are still quiet and attentive.
relationships within the department are really something else. between keeping track of the faculty oddities and the ta sexcapades, there is barely enough time to do the readings!
last night was the first disaster party. earlier parties were much more low key, get to know me type things. this one was the beer ponging, pot smoking, bonfiring, freshpersons crashing, awkward cuddling party you expect from undergrads. i only engaged in one of the above listed activities, can you guess which one??? :)
today the heat wave is back in orono. my room is quite stagnant. which, considering the smells i brought home from the above party, is not too much fun. i crossed the street this morning though and bought eggs and orange juice and had myself a lovely french toast breakfast. all is right with the world. or at least maine. how life should be. vacationland and whatnot.
anyway, there are going to be pictures on the other blog, so check it out. their story, of course will be much more tame. i'm not even sure the party will be mentioned. nah...they don't need that.

something is working for me!

things are going so well i'm afraid that the bottom is going to fall out. or, i guess it's just possible to have your cupcakes and eat them too!

no time for posting, i have a syllabus to generate.

best. week. ever.

can we just take a minute for the third comment on my last post?

proverbial icing on the cake.

chapter endings and such

hello, you.

i dyed my hair today. it's more subdued now, damnit. i really didn't mean for that to happen, i mean, i guess i wanted it to be darker, yes, but in a fall way, not in a non-adventurous blend in way. i suppose it will have to do for now and my first impressions will be slightly darker than i originally intended them to be. ah, well, take me for what i am.

orientation starts tomorrow. and teacher training. and meet & greets. and the judgefest that will be the meeting of this cohort. i haven't googled, i haven't facebooked, i haven't even stalked these people at all. and i know exactly why that is. sure, i want to know about them, but i don't want to draw my own conclusions before i meet them. mainly because i don't want them to do the same to me. damn them if they think they can read something or find something random that they feel is indicative. i myself don't know what is indicative. therefore, i have not stalked, but i'm sure they have.

truth is, i'm absolutely terrified to walk into that building tomorrow. alas, what is growing up if not scary?

i learned several things today

on my walk to campus today i learned that i should always choose the road less traveled. or the road more traveled? i don't know. anyway, i passed a walk-through thing labeled as "pedestrian/bicyclists campus access." skeptical (as always) of this barely beaten path through what appears to be amber waves of grain, i looked and looked and read and read, but ultimately kept walking to stick to the route i knew. well...that route is much longer when you are not on the phone with a friend laughing about how lost you are or you think you are. so, the whole way i'm cursing myself for not taking the odd pedestrian route, even though i don't know where it ends up. guess what i'm doing tomorrow??? ugh. [i also bought a parking pass for a wopping fifty bucks, so i'm covered whatever i decide to do.]

as i opened a bottle of wine with dinner tonight, i learned that maine is one of those lucky states that reimburses you for recycling bottles and such. so excited about that. according to pete the dentist, it's a very enjoyable and addicting process.

finally, as i tried to do some power yoga with rodney yee, i learned that those advisory bits in the fold out thing just might have some validity to them. sure i laughed at his admonition for menstruating women to avoid inverted poses, backbends or vigorous standing poses (obviously has not heard of the diva cup), but there might be something to that waiting for an hour after eating. i was feeling pretty good for a while, but i think i've done enough for one night. feeling fullish and blah. at least now i know. :)

that might be all i learned today... oh! on campus today, i learned that my attempt to smile casually without looking over eager and ridiculous turned out more like nick nolty's mugshot. at least it's only my student id?! ugh. typical.

party + blog + music

i feel like it has been ages since i updated, but i guess it really hasn't. so...my neighbors were having a crazy party tonight that consisted of loud music and continual screaming. i didn't even know it was possible for people to scream so consistently for so long, but go figure. on the up side, it's only midnight and they are absolutely silent. i'm not sure how long they have been silent because i was catching up on big brother, but they are silent silent now. wierd. mainers party hard, but quick. interesting.

anyway, i've been updating the family-friendly blog more frequently than this one, so if you are bored or curious, it's listed over there --> in the links.

oh, and you should probably listen to dolores o'riordan when you get a chance. she's my new crush. spread that around.

my new digs!

well, i won't say that my decorating is complete, but my unpacking is. i am quite pleased with how everything turned out, but there are some things that need tweaking. without further ado...


the transformation that took place in the bathroom may not be as obvious since the major pieces (crunked cabinet, sink, vanity, light) have all remained. however, the shower rod, the shower head (which was non-existant earlier), and general bathroom things were brought in to spiff the place up. also, there is a new doorknob that appropriately locks from the inside. now, back out to the kitchen.


alright, much improved, i think. i decided to decorate with a utilitarian bent since, really, i don't have room to store all these things in cabinets or my one, (count it) one, drawer. this is not the cone's final resting place, but it's currently marking the stool that might as well just be a sign that reads, "too short to live." (golden girls reference, i listened to the dvd while i worked today.)


these two pics show off my use-every-possible-surface-for-storage mentality. challenge: can you find the cutting boards?


this is my bed. surprise, i know. you can also see my solution to the lack of room for a bedside table b/c of my underbed storage drawers. to the left is one of my personal favorite perks to the room: my improvised vanity. i'm thinking about adding nails for bracelets in clusters around the top. let me know what you think.


okay, so this is a favorite too, but just wait you're going to love it in a minute. this is my reading/writing area. hot chair. nice lighting. and the capper: a rotating cabinet that houses my stationery bits around back. shown here in the rotated position, this cabinet will allow me to communicate across these united states with relative ease. if you want to see me in this position, write to me. you know the address and if you don't, just ask.


red peanut-shaped desk. i don't know what more you want me to say. it's hot. this lamp casts an oldly yellow glow if it is relied on as the only lightsource. it's this odd yellow glow under which i now sit. can you picture it? :)


continuing our leftward spiral, we come to THE BOOKSHELF. i hesitate to call it a favorite or say it's hot because i've done both at least twice already, but you know i mean them both again on this piece. i mean, just look at it. if i were a piece of furniture, i'd either be the mandal, the crazy whack chair, the peanut-shaped desk or this bookshelf. placement of books/objects is still subject to change; the books are in no particular order and you know how i feel about that. to the left of the shelf is the sequel to my vanity. this vanity is complete with scarves in the top drawer and sunglasses on a ribbon near the top shelf. and i'm not sure if you can tell, but the laminate has been tacked down with some lovely white shoe molding. challenge: can you guess which shoes i am wearing right now?


i close with this picture because i believe it gives a more accurate perspective than the pictures that i have to this point given you in which none of my "living spaces" have overlapped. in this one shot you can see the bookshelf, the kitchen, the bathroom door and my bed. you can also see that my refrigerator is naked. so, to you who have asked what you could send me, the answer is magnets. they are small, flat even, and i can't do much else with the surface of the fridge.

are you feeling optimistical about maine now? i think i am.

i only have a minute, but...

early this morning i woke up, packed up and started the drive from newport news, virginia to orono, maine. clearly, i did not make it yet, but connecticut will have to do for tonight. i'll regale you all with stories of the journey later, but for now just know that as i began my interweb addiction rounds tonight, my heart got a little bit sad when i saw you girls. that's right, my girls, kate, bridget and jessica. i miss you three tonight and i wish we were watching the l word or trashing each other or quoting napoleon dynamite, or really anything else besides driving to the corners and fanning out to the sides.

anyway, here's to summer! you rock, ladies.

the displeasure is all mine!

"so what are you doing these days?"
"well, i'm leaving for maine on wednesday..."
"wednesday?! this wednesday?"
"yeah..."

it will be nice when i can have other conversations.

also, i have officially put a ban on meeting fun new people. if you are living in virginia and will continue to do so, or even if you are going elsewhere but not to maine, and you are fun, then i do not want to meet you. i don't want to have the you've-been-here-forever-and-so-have-i-why-didn't-we-hang-out-we-could-have-had-so-much-fun conversation. it's just too bummy. not altogether sad because i am excited about going to maine; i am going to meet great new fun people and i will make friends of some of them, but i am bummed to have to leave everyone else behind. i guess i'll just have to do the long distance thing, because i'm not ready to say goodbye to my friends. awkward, but true. i'll just blog the pain away, blog the pain away, blog the pain away (better if you know the song).

on a lighter (different?) note: ikea tomorrow. hoping to get some drawers to form a desk of sorts and then a bed perhaps and a chair/couch/who knows what of this will even fit in the truck... so, it will be interesting. i'm going with the parents, so we are leaving at 8am. and i blog at 3am. don't question me.

and one final thing to leave you with in an attempt to make you smile: i'm currently laying on the livingroom floor. my laptop light is the only light in the entire house and the clicking of the keyboard provides the only soundtrack. and for the icing on this family cake, my mom just came down here and said, "oh, you're awake" and a couple of other things before going back to bed. baby's excited about moving out!

this could get interesting...

today was the last leg of the packing marathon. it was also hellishly hot. brilliant combination, really. so now that i have shed the skin of my three-floored, empty-roomed apartment, i'm wandering around the family home. i should definitely be reading, but i'm not really seeing that happening for a while. i'll get to it. i promise.

i have a postsecret. it's a funny one. not dark at all, and i think it would be one that people could laugh at. i don't know if i'll make it and send it in, but i'd like to. keep a look out for it.

i'm not really letting myself think about it, but i freak out everytime i think about the fact that i am leaving on wednesday. not next wednesday, or a week from wednesday, just wednesday. i'm terrified. but instead of worrying or doing what i need to be doing, i'm going to look for beds and drawers and desks made of doors and file cabinets and other fun things that will make me look frugal in only the cutest way.

oh, and just in case you were wondering, the carpet cleaner and i are to be married as soon as i finish school. yep.

oh, carpet cleaners, my carpet cleaners, wherefore art thou, carpet cleaners!

today could certainly be described as slowish.

i lost my mattress last night so i had to sleep on this little pad of a twin mattress (not comfy) and i fell asleep with the tv on and woke to a 5am infomercial (not roomba or scooba, sadly). i got up around 11 and got serious about cleaning. that lasted about an hour, but let me just take a moment to applaud the hardest worker of my cleaning crew: the mr. clean magic eraser. that is one bad ass cleaning product. yes it disintegrates after a while and gets this white filmy stuff on my hands, but i dare you to find the scuff marks on my walls or the hair dye residue in my tub. you won't find it. you just won't.

sadly though, my arm got tired so i took a break that i have clung to for the last two hours. my plan was to be quiet so i would hear when the carpet cleaners got here since i am on the second floor and usually don't hear stuff like that. well...would have worked except for the fact that the carpet cleaners are nowhere to be found. the appointment was for 1-3pm. well, it's 2:54pm and carpet guy calls to say he's stuck in traffic. brilliant. so...here i sit. what else to do but start a blog?

i'm moving out tomorrow and then i'll be at my family's full mercy. family time all the time! then, on the 15th i'm leaving for maine. on the 27th i'll start learning how to teach and on the 5th of september, i will teach my first class. it's all making me crazy with worry but it's an adventure, right?

well, more later. i should really get back to cleaning. and waiting. perhaps i'll just do more of the latter.