Video Post: P90x Gag Reel

So... last night I finished Phase 2 and decided to make a quick video to highlight some things.

And... it was past midnight. And... I talked a bit more than I meant to.

I figured I'd walk away from the video(s). Yes, there were two.

But... then I watched the videos today and I decided that the only worthwhile bits were the things that ordinary people would cut out.

Since when have I been ordinary people?

Enjoy, kittens. My outtakes, in no particular order:

This just in:

I'd like my next career move to be an extreme coupon clipper.

Like a stay at home mom without the children.

I'd just like to maintain the house. And buy $600 worth of groceries for $6.

It would be cool.



(Like a girl with a moustache tattooed on her finger, just in cases.)

Yet another video post about P90x...

I've been holding out on you guys.

I made this video about a week ago. I made it as a joke, with a lot of input from my brother.


(That guy.)

But then I showed it to a few people. And when they stopped lolling, they each said the same thing: "You need to post this."

So... thank them, if you like the video. If you don't... let me know to smack them the next time I see them.



(I'm cringing over here.)

Anyway... the point of this video WAS to mark the day that I did my first three unassisted chin-ups.

What is the real take-away of this video?

I think only you can answer that one for me...

On Singledom... and Why I Need It.

(Note: This post was started way back on... January 2nd... as a response to this prompt at The Femme's Guide. I missed the deadline like woah. But I still wanted to share. So... go with it.)

On January 2nd, 2011 a friend asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. Not if I made one, but what mine was.

Every year before this one, I would have been able to honestly dismiss the question by saying I don’t make resolutions. I’d use my handy, “if it’s a good idea in January, then I should have done it in December” excuse.

But… this year… I’d made a resolution.

So… I took a deep breath and texted (yes, texted… judge all you want) this back:

My resolution is to be fabulous and single in 2011.

Her first response: Aren’t you already both?

Umm… not quite. (But thanks! ) If I were, I wouldn’t need the resolution.

Her second response (within the same minute, mind you): If you met someone great, why would you want to be single?

That, admittedly, is a more difficult question to answer. Why would anyone want to be single? Why would I want to be single?

When I think about cuddling up, holding hands on the sidewalk, having a someone who cares about my day, or arriving home to something more responsive than a KitchenAid mixer, I… can’t really say that I do want to be single. But… that is the exact type of thinking that I want to move beyond in 2011.

The past two or three years, for me, have been a continual bounce between being in love and searching for the same. In love, I daydreamed, smiled a lot, made a lot of gutsy moves, made even more mixed cds, and generally played my part as the 20-something, ditsy in love. Between great loves (cough, cough), I scouted for the next one. I approached women in bars and coffee shops. I chatted with them online. I followed them on twitter. I flirted with straight girls and I agreed to dates I knew were bad ideas. And… might as well admit it, I even found some chicky chicks on Craigslist.

It was fun (at times), and I eventually became that girl with the crazy stories. You know the one… the girl who only needs a “soooo…?” and a smile to launch her into the weekend recap? Well… that was me. Was me… in 2010. But it’s not going to be me in 2011.

In 2011, I am going to be fabulous and single.

Did I mention that? Because I am. In addition to all the normal things like cleaning the kitchen before going to bed, covering my firewood before it starts raining, and finding the perfect white gold earrings, I am going to tackle the much harder mission of being single and being happy about it.

I’ve painted a very impressive picture of this in my mind. It involves me, in the best shape of my life, happy, winsome, and beyond charming as I politely decline dates and wave off suitors left and right.

(In this picture, I’m also on the dance floor in an outfit that I could probably only afford in such a dream sequence… but that’s not the important bit, is it?)

So… that’s what I’m after.

I don’t want to be that girl who is tied to her phone, waiting for a text and wondering what it could possibly mean when she goes an afternoon without getting one. I don’t want my mood to be tied to someone else’s current take on me. I want to wear my favorite underwear on a Tuesday, if I feel like it, because I’m not the least bit concerned about who might need to see them and when.

I want to be the fun, together, productive girl that I know lives somewhere inside me.

And when former loves stroll up to introduce the new girls who are just perfect, I’ll smile wide (revealing beautiful white teeth) and raise my perfectly shadowed lids and mascara-ed lashes to make comfortable eye contact with both of them. My sexy heels clicking as I return to my car, coffee shop, or classroom, I’ll remind myself that my single and fabulous self won’t be angrily arguing something trivial that afternoon or getting its feelings hurt over dinner.

Then… one day… maybe years from now… someone will make me an offer I can’t refuse.

Annnd… I’ll refuse it.

But only so she’ll make it again, with more feeling.

Until then… it’s protein bars, P90x, platonic outings, and being the token lesbian again. I’m fine with all of that. I’m actually kind of looking forward to it.

Who's with me? Any 2011 singletons who (like me) need a jolt of fab in their lives?

Cloudy with a Chance of...

I've noticed something about this great state of Georgia.

This state, like none other that I've lived in, deals in clouds. We can go from sunny to stormy in about fifteen minutes.

From billowy and puffy...

to menacing and grey...

to downright apocalyptic.

But all I really want is something like this...

so I can spend my little bit of time off doing more of this.

Dear Clouds,

I've asked nicely. Do your best to comply.

Love and blue skies,

Amanda

Week of Wardrobe Wednesday: Let's See How Long This Lasts...

Well, dangit.

Not only did you guys like the Week of Wardrobe post, many of you said it should be a weekly feature. Weekly? WEEKLY? Do you not know how much pressure that is?!

Let's just think about this, shall we? I can't have off days. I can't ignore the laundry pile growing in my closet. I can't wear the same shirt two Tuesdays in a row. I can't wear one pair of jeans an entire week. I can't teach in a white t-shirt and an oversized (not in the good way) sweater because I just couldn't care less that day. I can't have a bad hair day, for goodness sake, without you guys knowing.

But... then again... it is probably a good idea for me to be slightly more on top of my appearance on a regular basis. Like I said in the title of this post, let's just see how long this lasts.

Wednesday:


Sushi Night. Has nothing to do with my preppenstein get-up, but Sushi Night is a good thing to look forward to mid-week. Never mind that I don't care for sushi. The company is good.

Thursday:


After teaching one class, I came home and shed the teacher costume (no, I didn't photograph it, nor do I remember what it was) and did some dishes. I think I made a panini too...

Friday:


I'm proud of this outfit that saw me through a faculty retreat, lunch and shopping downtown with friends, and a cupcakery visit. (That's right... Back in the Day!)

Saturday:


Inspired by Friday's shopping, I tried to put together something cute and hipster. I finally decided that if I were going to clash, I should do it purposefully. This is the only explanation I can give you for the navy + black + pink + red situation.

Sunday:


Don't have anything witty or of interest to say about this outfit. The jeans are secondhand and pinstriped. The hoody has cartoon exclamation points on it. And the flats are floral. That's three patterns, but somehow I consider this outfit to be more neutral than most of mine.

Monday:


This outfit says, "But of course I'll be at Mrs. Habersham's garden party. Anyone who is anyone will make an appearance." This picture says, "Shoot, did it really beep three times already..."

Tuesday:


I love this shirt for two reasons. Those reasons are: Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and Lady Gaga in... anything poofy sleeved and rouched.

I'd also like to apologize for the open trashcan, the spread eagle KitchenAid (I swear she's usually more demure), and the open cabinet. You see... I was baking for sanity. That seems to be happening more often lately.

Well... that's my Week of Wardrobe. You can check out Kate's week here. Sooo what's the verdict?

Are ya bored yet?

A Halloween Reflection

When the fellow in the middle was commissioned to zip my $9 Goodwill dress of infinite tightness, he gripped the zipper, started pulling up and asked only one question:

"We're going all the way up?"

Yes, dear. Have a bit of faith.


This morning, when one of my students asked how my weekend was, I thought about it and said, "It was nice."

When she asked me if I did anything for Halloween, I said (without thinking), "No... I didn't... How was your dad's haunted house?" She launched into a story about scaring children and I returned to my gradebook.

And... we're back to normal. At least for another 362 days. Sigh.

Zombies FTW!!! (And a Request)

(Welcome to the blogpost in which I shamelessly toot my own horn.)

My zombie cupcakes won the Cupcake Rehab 2nd Birthday Giveaway!!


Check out Marilla's announcement for all the gorey details. And, in case you missed them before, you can read all about the process and product of the zombie cupcakes here.

Okay, okay... now for the request.

The voting for Cupcake Hero October has just opened and will remain open until October 21st at midnight. So... if you wouldn't mind... wander over there and see if my Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes (or any other cupcake for that matter) catch your eye. Just click the bubbles on the right hand side to vote. Couldn't be easier.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes

Update: Voting for Cupcake Hero is now open until October 21st at midnight. Check out the competition and vote here.

Complete credit for that winning title goes to my bff and former college roommate, Kira. This weekend Kira had the honor of being my first houseguest in Smalltown, Georgia. And... since Kira loves to bake as much as I do, we quickly decided to make some sort of complicated dessert happen while she was here.

And, in a perfect storm of blog contest deadlines and amazing thrift store finds, Kira and I decided to make A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes.



In plain English, pumpkin and vanilla swirled cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese icing. As you might imagine, it takes a lot of ingredients to make that cake happen:

And there is just one more ingredient to pull the whole thing together...

Yes, indeed. A $7 Goodwill Cinderella costume.


Kira and I took turns wearing it while we made the cupcakes. Try not to be too jealous of our merriment. You could probably have just as much fun if you lightened up a bit.

Anyway... back to the cakes. We each tackled a batter. Kira made Billy's Vanilla halved by How to Eat a Cupcake and I was in charge of halving the Pumpkin Spice Cake by Joy of Baking.


Once the batters were ready, we got really fancy. I'd dropped and marbled and twirled and tie-dyed batters before, but I wanted these pumpkin swirl cakes to be more deliberately and artfully swirled. So... we filled two piping bags with our two batters, cut the tips, then dropped those two bags into a third bag with a large round tip.


And voila! A fairly labor intensive batter delivery method not for the faint of heart.

We made exactly 12 cupcakes and 24 minis.


In my opinion, it was all worth it. Look at that great loopy swirl! The swirl runs all the way down, around, and in the cupcakes. Ex-act-ly what I wanted. (yay!)

Once the cupcakes cooled, I made a quick cinnamon cream cheese buttercream. I used a brick of cold cream cheese, 5 tablespoons of softened butter, a splash of vanilla, and cinnamon to taste. Easy and delicious.


In keeping with our Cinderella theme, Cupcake Hero ingredient (pumpkin), Booo-tiful Cupcake Contest, we decorated 6 of the cupcakes with magical pumpkins just waiting to be turned into crystal carriages.


We topped the other 6 cupcakes with colored sugar, stars, and hearts and the next thing you know, A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes.


And just take a look at the cross-section shot. Adorable. I just can't say enough about this swirl and how pleased I am with it.

And while we're at it, the flavor and texture of these two cakes works together extremely well. The batters were similar in consistency, so they piped well side-by-side. The combination of pumpkin and vanilla is a wonderful one, I think. I love pumpkin, but I do like to temper it with something creamy - think whipped cream on pie - so the vanilla addition made me very happy.

I would very highly recommend making these for any sort of fall festivus. They are light, moist, soft, and so delicately pumpkin and spiced. Mmmm...

I just might have to go downstairs for a minute... and... ya know... have a cupcake.

Too _____ to Live

My short stature is the big joke in my family. At a diminutive 5'1", I get all the Liliputian humor I can handle from just about everyone. Never mind the fact that they are no tall drinks of water themselves, my family just likes to remind me that I am, in fact, the shortest person around.

I really don't mind being short. I think it makes the overall package just a little bit cuter. But... when trying on clothes that are too long or trying to retrieve things from grocery store shelves, a particular Golden Girls clip quite often comes to mind.

Thanks to the almighty powers of YouTube, you don't have to suffer through my explanation of the thing. You can just watch it.



That's right. I'm too short to live.

My understanding of this fact was solidified recently when I decided that I need new tennis shoes.

Ugh.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. You see... in keeping with my miniature condition, I have laughably small feet. And, though I wear "big girl" shoes every day, I wear youth-sized tennis shoes because adult tennis shoes just don't fit right.

So finding a pair of tennis shoes without sparkles, flowers, or lights on the back is tricky. And, sadly, I've fully given up on finding tennis shoes that are not pink.

Maybe it's something about Georgia, but on this most recent excursion, I found some real gems that I feel the need to share with you.

Exhibit A:


Elmo. ELMO. On my foot. I wish the picture weren't so horrible, but I think you can get the idea. EL-MO, people.

You want to know the saddest part? These shoes were ridiculously comfortable. So comfortable and supportive that I actually stood there and thought about whether I was gangster enough to pull off an Elmo New Balance. (I'm not.)

Exhibit B:


Cupcake Couture hightops. Again... not enough of a badass. But how h.o.t. are these kicks?!

Exhibit C:


Multi-colored Sperrys. Now... here we might have found the silver lining in all this. These shoes were real Sperrys, not those off-brands that look close, but they were half the price of legit Sperrys because they are youth sized.

These I also contemplated. And walked away from. I already feel like a prepenstein when I wear my tan Sperrys, I was worried I would feel like even more of a poser in the multi-colored ones.

So what do you think? Should I embrace my child-sized foot and wear some of these bossy sneaks with my head held high? Or... should I continue to try them on, laugh, take a picture, and walk away?

Oh, and for those interested, I didn't find new tennis shoes yet. The best fit was a girls Nike Shox pair in silver (ew) with hot pink shox (oy). Couldn't do it.

The Yeast Beast and How I Conquered It

I guess that title makes it sound like an epic battle, but, in reality, I just found a really good recipe.


For some reason, I've always been afraid to work with yeast. I don't know... something about the living aspect of the thing made me nervous and certainly convinced that I would kill it.

But since I've been in Georgia, I've been introduced as "Amanda. She bakes." And, more than once, people have responded with, "Oh... so you make bread!" and I've had to make an awkward face and try to let them down easy with the promise of cupcakes.

Well, no longer.


This weekend I made Honey Whole Wheat Bread following MeckMom.com's recipe. And aside from the fact that my mixer couldn't do all the dough work and I had to finish it up on the floured counter, I followed this recipe to the letter. And it worked like a charm.


MeckMom speeds up the rising process by putting the dough in a just slightly warm oven twice. So... though you can expect to devote at least two hours to the bread baking process, it is a relatively quick recipe that turns out 4 loaves of bread. (I cut the recipe in half.)

And, as it would turn out, one of my new "You bake bread?!" friends called while I was in the throes of bread baking. About an hour later when I showed up on her doorstep with a hot loaf of Honey Whole Wheat bread, she knew exactly what to do with it.


Homegirl toasted it with garlic, a move that the rest of us were unsure of in theory but in love with in practice. Then she whipped up a quick tzatziki sauce with garlic, cucumber, and sour cream. It was... amazing.

So will I bake bread again? Heck to the yes.

And how will I respond when new friends excitedly ask "So you bake bread?!"?

I'll smile, raise an eyebrow, and say something smarmy like, "Among other things..." Because we all know that a skill is infinitely more impressive when downplayed.

Why I <3 Today

1. I fell asleep before 11pm last night. Soporific Project Runway episodes FTW!

2. My radio station played "(I Had) The Time of My Life" during my 6 minute commute to campus. I didn't even have to ask! I sang every word with all the verve and gusto I could summon.

3. Even after shaving my legs, I was ready early enough this morning to get a bagel for my mid-office hours brunch.

4. During my office hours, I'm going to start reading my new book, How to Be a People Magnet by Leil Lowndes. If you've had more than 2 conversations with me, you will probably recall my love for How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. Same author.

5. At 1:50pm (on the dot), I'll be off until Wednesday at 8am. I plan to fill my time with a roadtrip complete with book on tape, a book festival complete with crazy high school roommate, and countless scoops of Bruster's icecream... complete with dinosaur cookies. I'm also going to test my magnetism, if you get my drift.


So... Can your good day top mine?


Update: At 10:30pm, while eating Turtle ice cream at Bruster's with Kira and her socially anxious but still adorable dog, Lila, "Hungry Eyes" played over the loud speaker. It was damn poetry.

What I Learned Today, Aug. 17, 2009

Today was the first day of school, so I started off on the right foot by... well... learning things. So please enjoy What I Learned Today.


1. The perfect costume for today can be confidence in textiles.


However... the picture of said textile confidence can be oh-so-disappointing when you realize that you haven't gotten to the "wash mirror" portion of the VA -> GA move. Ugh.

2. There is no accounting for taste.


This painting is the only thing in my office at the moment. It needs to come down yesterday. I mean... I really love it and the wall color. And the purple door trim. (0_o)

3. There are faculty perks.


Some universities (read: mine) have bathrooms designated for faculty. Those bathrooms are supplied with various creams and lotions. Drawback: You will run into a faculty member in the bathroom.

4. When the interwebs are against her, a girl has to keep herself busy.


I lugged my laptop to campus today because I was promised (by a giant banner that proclaims "WIRELESS INSIDE") wireless. How-ev-er, my computer was rejected because of missing Microsoft updates. Boo.

So... without interwebs again, I read. Turns out young adult lit was also the perfect costume for today.

5. In Georgia, fruits behave differently.


Apples, for instance, brown before you finish cutting them. I'm not even kidding. Blanche Devareaux once said that people mature faster in the South, and I now believe her.

6. Just because they are a must for this season's fashion, doesn't mean they'll be nice to your feet for an entire 8 hour and 20 minute day.


Yep. Nothing witty to say about that.

I also learned things that I didn't take pictures of. For example, even if one makes it through an entire day of teaching 5 classes without breaking a sweat, that same one will sweat it out in the 6 minute ride home in the preheated oven-hot car. You are happy I didn't photograph this.

Finally (for now), I learned that when one enters five classes with the same tattoos and piercings, 2 students in 2 different classes will point them out in an attempt at solidarity. Goodness gracious.

I'm curious. What did you learn today?!

Dressing Room Diva

Maine is a land of many treasures. There are mountains, and mooses, and students, and movies, and... yes... several bars. But really... Maine is not a hub of cultural diversity or diversion. So my roommate and I got pretty creative when we needed to get out of the apartment and have some fun. One of our favorite things to do was hit the Ross, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls circuit and try on ridiculous dresses.

So... feeling precocious and in need of fun times, I resurrected the activity and did some dressing room dramatics. Please enjoy. (Or just stop reading. Either way... I won't know.)

I'd like to start by showing you just a few of the ways that Ross can hurt an LBD.

Now... the flowers are bad... yes... let's just look at the shape that this dress creates. I feel like there are two very important accessories that are not being given the proper respect. I'll also take this chance to apologize for my over-expressive facial contortions. The girl can't help it.


This little number reminds me of something one of the Golden Girls would wear if she were in her twenties on the show. It's got all the "NO"s: a bubble, some rick rack, and a really awkwardly blunted deep-V. Thank you for being a friend, but really... no thanks.

Here we have a little black dress complete with two extra bolts of fabric, just in cases. You never, ever know...

I have mixed feelings about this dress. I love paisely but this dress is just a little too champagne glass with chocolate handles. And if you didn't get that reference, then you need to pay more attention to Prince.


Okay... there is nothing wrong with this dress. It's classy. And shiny. And if I were 18, the role of girl-who-can't-stop-pulling-up-her-dress-at-prom would be played (really well) by me. In this dress.


Cute overload. This dress screams "Coffee, Tea, or Me?" Of all the dresses I tried on, this is the one I debated buying. Didn't. But I debated.

Let's throw some color into this dressing room!

I'm thinking Austin Powers girl #3 or maybe even Foxy Brown before she gets into the really violent parts of the film that demand the one-piece jumpsuits. Holla if you've seen a Foxy flick!


I was hoping this dress would make me look a lot tanner than it did. As it turns out, it's more Pebbles Flintstone than Portia de Rossi.

This burgundy ensemble is the perfect choice for the elegant linebacker out for a nice evening of ribs and brew with the boys.

My apologies for the disturbing headlessness of this pic: you're not missing anything. Anyway... this dress is my nod to the Mad Men epidemic that seems to be sweeping Facebook.

And... finally... this dress reminded me of an Easter dress. I used to get a fancy Easter dress every year (at Easter, did I mention?) and towards the end there, it was really a dreaded activity. Though my sister loved the dresses, I was decidedly not a fan for a while there. The random yet horrible clumping of white flowers on this emerald green dress resulted in a dress that should only be seen from the back.

Ah... doesn't it always feel a little bit like Christmas when you put your own clothes back on after a bout of dressing room dramatics? Everything just seems to fit so much better.

So there you have it. A day in the dressing room with Amanda. What do you like to do on a slow Tuesday in an even slower town? Fellow dressing room divas should also feel free to out themselves. We're all friends here.