Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Fear Conquering 101: Brussel Sprouts

Now, I don't like to delve into my dusty past, but I'm going to do it right now.

Just work with me.

When I was quite young, my mother was inspired by who-knows-what-or-whom to introduce her family to brussel sprouts. I believe that her brilliant sprout preparation involved boiling them. Or steaming, but I don't think she had gotten the steamer at that point. Anyway... whatever she did to them rendered them grass-like and completely unappealing.

Well... at this tender age, I enjoyed very many vegetables. This brussel sprout, however, did not go over well. I had quite a fair amount of trouble swallowing the brussel sprout and there was some crying and mild amount of hysteria. Not my finest hour.

My mother, in her infinite wisdom, decided that this was the first time that she would enforce the 'eat all your vegetables or you can't leave the table' rule that I had heard rumor of from my little friends.

Add in the cackling presence of my brother, sister, and both parents and this brief introduction to the brussel sprout turns into something reminiscent of a harrowing scene from A Christmas Story. And, yes, I am a little bit unimpressed that this story still gets my family rollin'.

You know what folks? The joke's on you because this week I roasted brussel sprouts a la The Post Punk Kitchen and I ate all of them. Happily. They were wicked good. I've conquered my fear of the almighty brussel sprout and now I need to pass on the goodness.

Mom: I love you, but your brussel sprouts suck. I dare you to roast them. Be honest, you didn't like them the first time either.


trresa said...

First of all: I'm rolling! Thank you, a good laugh was exactly what I needed today!

Second: You only had to eat one brussel sprout on that fateful day, not the whole serving. Even so this was not my finest hour to be sure, I believe this and many others were covered in the Dr. Phil inspired apology some months ago, please refer back to that.

Third: I didn't like them, you're right.

Fourth: Congratulations on being a much better cook then I will ever be! You can make this recipe for us the next time you come to visit!

Lastly, your father wants your readers to know what happened with the leftover brussel sprouts.

A. Fiercehair said...

trresa: I don't remember what happened to the leftovers...

The Empress said...

Leave it to Mamahair to call you out on your (not so) traumatic childhood experience.

I still have yet to eat a brussel sprout, but I guess that isn't surprising seeing as how I confessed that I just had asparagus for the first time this weekend.

A. Fiercehair said...

Empress: I resent that "(not so)" qualification. It was a big-stinkin-deal as my lingering bitterness should tell you.

jess said...

that horrible night was, indeed, quite traumatic for you... i'd like to say i shared in your trauma but that would be false. i ate all of my brussel sprouts before i even noticed you and your sprout/milk episode. and i laughed extremely hard, and out loud, when i read this post. sorry. kindof.

and i think dad might have been the one to suffer with the leftovers... i vaguely remember a brussel sprout sandwich.

Mermaid Sweets said...

Lactose solidarity! Sucks huh. Great post - I too have become a recent convert - what did it for me was the brussel sprout and chesnut recipe in the joy of cooking. Yum.

Me! said...

if it makes you feel any better the first time i ate a brussel sprout i was in my 20's. And at least you figured out how to make them good!

A. Fiercehair said...

Mermaid Sweets: I have the Joy of Cooking, and I'm totally going to look up that recipe.

Me!: I think for sanity's sake, I'm going to consider this my first sprout experience too. :)