On Tuesday, October 20th in the year of our Lord 2009, Marlin "Mikey" Microwave passed on to the Great Kitchen in the sky. Mikey's last week on this earth was a tough one. Plagued with early morning beeping jags and random read-out seizures, Mikey was forced to spend his last days unplugged on the counter. Mikey gave up his brave fight when he lost the ability to connect with the leftovers he knew and loved.
Mikey was adopted by Amanda Fierce-Hair in summer 2007. Amanda's first child, Mikey has since been joined by September the Cupcake Currier (2008), Cassius the Coffee Maker (2009), and Burgundy the Kitchen-Aid (2009). Mikey took his role of older brother very seriously and was known around the kitchen for coddling his younger siblings. Mikey never once complained about warming butter to ease September's mixing or reheating a cup of joe that Cassius wandered away from.
Though not a big traveler, Mikey saw a good deal of the East coast in his life. Born in Bangor, Maine, Mikey cut his teeth on Hot Pockets in Orono, Maine; sojourned briefly in Bad News, Virginia (where he narrowly escaped the lure of sex, drugs, and violence); and finally settled down in Smalltown, Georgia.
Mikey was never happier than when working with candy melts. Some of his credits include Valentine's Day truffles, Arnold Palmer Balls, and Mother's Day flowers. Mikey was aided in these efforts by his dear friend, and then roommate, Kitty the Kettle, daughter of Bethenstance of New Hampshire.
Mikey is survived by his mother, Amanda Fierce-Hair; brother, Cassius; sisters, September and Burgundy; and countless members of the Wilton family. Mikey is preceeded in death by Compaq "Paqi" Presario, the laptop; and good friend and confidant, Mauritius, the handheld mixer.
The family would like to thank Cyrus Holiday, the stove, and the entire Pot family (Big, Bigger, Skillet, and Pancake) for stepping up during Mikey's final days. Their compassion and warm gestures mean so much those who cared for Mikey at the end.
Marlin "Mikey" Microwave will be laid to rest at dusk, his favorite time of the day, in a private ceremony. In lieu of flowers, please send cards and well wishes to Mikey's dear friend, Della the laptop, whose health is rapidly declining.
"Everybody knows, the truth of letting go is that you never do."
- Girlyman, "Right Here"
