Kitchen Obits: Marlin

On Tuesday, October 20th in the year of our Lord 2009, Marlin "Mikey" Microwave passed on to the Great Kitchen in the sky. Mikey's last week on this earth was a tough one. Plagued with early morning beeping jags and random read-out seizures, Mikey was forced to spend his last days unplugged on the counter. Mikey gave up his brave fight when he lost the ability to connect with the leftovers he knew and loved.

Mikey was adopted by Amanda Fierce-Hair in summer 2007. Amanda's first child, Mikey has since been joined by September the Cupcake Currier (2008), Cassius the Coffee Maker (2009), and Burgundy the Kitchen-Aid (2009). Mikey took his role of older brother very seriously and was known around the kitchen for coddling his younger siblings. Mikey never once complained about warming butter to ease September's mixing or reheating a cup of joe that Cassius wandered away from.

Though not a big traveler, Mikey saw a good deal of the East coast in his life. Born in Bangor, Maine, Mikey cut his teeth on Hot Pockets in Orono, Maine; sojourned briefly in Bad News, Virginia (where he narrowly escaped the lure of sex, drugs, and violence); and finally settled down in Smalltown, Georgia.

Mikey was never happier than when working with candy melts. Some of his credits include Valentine's Day truffles, Arnold Palmer Balls, and Mother's Day flowers. Mikey was aided in these efforts by his dear friend, and then roommate, Kitty the Kettle, daughter of Bethenstance of New Hampshire.

Mikey is survived by his mother, Amanda Fierce-Hair; brother, Cassius; sisters, September and Burgundy; and countless members of the Wilton family. Mikey is preceeded in death by Compaq "Paqi" Presario, the laptop; and good friend and confidant, Mauritius, the handheld mixer.

The family would like to thank Cyrus Holiday, the stove, and the entire Pot family (Big, Bigger, Skillet, and Pancake) for stepping up during Mikey's final days. Their compassion and warm gestures mean so much those who cared for Mikey at the end.

Marlin "Mikey" Microwave will be laid to rest at dusk, his favorite time of the day, in a private ceremony. In lieu of flowers, please send cards and well wishes to Mikey's dear friend, Della the laptop, whose health is rapidly declining.


"Everybody knows, the truth of letting go is that you never do."
- Girlyman, "Right Here"

BaconEggAndCheese!!!

or How Breakfast Says "I Love You"


By this point, you probably all know that I love breakfast. What I know that you may not know is that breakfast loves me back. With all her eggy, protein-rich heart. How do I know this?

BaconEggAndCheese sandwiches.

There is no breakfast food more rewarding than a perfectly constructed baconeggandcheese. And, yes, a proper one deserves to be one word. Out of respect.

Anyway, this particular sandwich was made with two buttered, toasted slices of my homemade honey whole wheat bread. I scramble-fried two eggs (I said protein-rich, right? Well... I meant it.) and topped those eggs with one and a half slices of good ol' American cheese. Three strips of bacon later, this sandwich was perfect.


(My picture of her is not quite so perfect... but I was hungry. And impatient.)

Now... here I might lose some people, but I don't care. I like to enjoy my baconeggandcheese with a bit of ketchup for dipping. It's magical and I will hear no criticism of the practice. Well... I might hear it, but it won't bother me.

Here's something that might bother me though:


I bought this ready-for-the-microwave bacon the other day. It stays in the fridge and fairly easily cooks up in it's space packaging if you give it enough time. What's troubling is that it dispenses itself. Like a kleenex. Am I the only one who finds this really bizarre?? (o_O)

This post is dedicated to the late, great Patrick Swayze. (._.) He's like the wind through my trees.

I'm Looking Through You

Today our English grad association brought a bigwig to campus. I and three other grad students have been planning for this visit for months. I have been stressing and worrying and freaking out for the last week or so.

Our distinguished visiting author was Jennifer Finney Boylan. You might remember her from my earlier plea to you all to read her two memoirs.

You can find more stuffs about the author and her books (memoirs, novels, short story collections, etc.) and her blog at www.jenniferboylan.net. I highly recommend you jump over there.

I loved having Jenny Boylan on campus today. We had a memoir-writing talk, a pizza lunch, and a reading of new stuff. It was all great. Jenny Boylan is friendly, funny, and extremely knowledgeable.

Oddly enough, my favorite part of the day was a little phrase that no one else might have noticed.

We were sitting in the English department lounge around 10am and Boylan was talking about... something. And then - mid-sentence - she said, "Now that the secondhand has passed the twelve, I'll start my talk. You'll notice no difference between what I've been doing and that talk."

One of Boylan's big themes is that being true to one's self is the best way to live in the world, even if living one's truth is really quite hard to do. I found her quick comment reflective of that focus. The comment made me smile at the time and it has kept me thinking all day.

I'm still thinking.

P.S. - I don't care for long-lined booksignings, but I do love having meaningful books signed by the authors in slightly personalized ways. Perhaps one day I'll show you my David Bevington book... Anyway, today Boylan totally eclipsed Bevington. Just try and tell me that isn't the cutest signing you've seen. Ever.