Hold the French Toast: A P90x Breakfast

Diet advice is like a handshake. Regardless of height, weight, or general physical condition, everybody has one and will probably give you their's if you so much as say "Hi, my name is..."

I've listened to a lot of diet advice in my day. A metric butt ton of it, if you will.

But as I listen, I am usually saying an emphatic, "Yes, I know!" in my head.

This is not my first rodeo. I've lost a total of 60 lbs since college and not one of those pounds just "fell off" like I keep hearing happens to some lucky, mythical creatures on infomercials.

And what works?

Eating right and exercising. Go effin' figure.

So... I keep on keeping on and sometimes I bump it up, sometimes I slack off... but for the most part I stay on the level. This tells me that I've probably found my body's comfort zone. I'm slowly becoming okay with that.

Now that I'm P90x-ing though, I'm seeing results and getting demanding. I see some results so I want to see more! I see progress, so I want to see perfection!

I didn't - I know you're wondering - start following the P90x Nutrition Plan by the letter this week.

I thought about it. And if I had a personal chef and loads of money, I would probably be on board. I've heard both good and bad things about it, but I prefer to try things for myself.

So why am I not doing it?

I can't get over the "but diets don't work!" mantra, and I don't know that I want to. What if I find a diet that really does work? I'm either stuck on it (which isn't healthy) or I get off it, flounder a bit, and gain weight (which isn't healthy). And please, for the love of all that's good, don't tell me that the P90x Nutrition Plan isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle. Because... just think about it... I'm getting stronger and so is my right hook. Kthanks. Right now I feed my body what it needs and what it tells me it wants.

Basically... I'm better off doing me.

And while I'm P90x-ing, it wants good food and a lot of it.

When trolling around BeachBody.com, I found an article on big breakfasts and fell in love.

The author explains things like feeding your body the most when it is the most hungry. And eating certain fats, carbs, and proteins in the morning to set the tone for the rest of the day. I tell my students to choose strategies that make sense to them and their writing styles... Well, this big breakfast thing? Makes TOTAL sense to me and my cooking style.

I mean... hello... Have you been paying attention the "breakfast" tag on this blog?

So today while I did Yoga X in the livingroom, I was roasting a turkey breast tenderloin in the kitchen. Man, oh man, did it smell good.

The meal as posted on BeachBody was:

1 package plain instant oatmeal, prepared, with 1 scoop BeachBody Whey Protein Powder
1 cup fresh blueberries
3 oz. roasted turkey breast
1 large hard-boiled egg
1 oz. dark chocolate

Delicious, right?

I certainly thought so. But... being fitness (read: not food) bloggers, they left it at that. No instructions, no cooking times, just a good luck. Thankfully, I'm good at googling and experimentation. *ahem*

What I came up with was this:


So... allow me to make it easier on you than BeachBody made it on me. Here's my long-hand, food blogger version of their above breakfast. Also, if you're interested, there are a few other big breakfasts on the above link. I'll be making them soon, no doubt.

An hour and a half before you're ready to eat:

- Preheat oven to 350.
- Prepare turkey breast by placing in an oven-proof dish with 1/4 cup water.
- Sprinkle with basil, oregano, black pepper, and garlic powder.
- Bake covered for 30 minutes.

While the turkey roasts, do something else. Anything else (I did yoga) to distract you from the unadulterated protein you can't eat for another hour.

When the timer goes off...

- Remove foil from turkey and continue to roast for another 30 minutes.
- Put egg(s) in pot and cover with cold water.
- Set pot to boil but pull immediately from heat and cover as soon as it does.
- Let egg(s) sit in hot water for 17 minutes.

When those timers go off... (they'll probably be pretty close together)

- Remove turkey from oven. Cover with foil and let rest for 10 minutes.
- Remove eggs from hot water and place in bowl of ice water until cool.

While waiting for turkey and eggs...

- Gather chocolate & fruit and prepare oatmeal. (I didn't have fresh blueberries, so I had strawberries, which I nommed during the epic cooking event. Annnnd... I didn't have chocolate so I had 1 oz. of a chocolate power bar. Since I didn't have the Whey Protein to add to the oatmeal, I figured this balanced out.)

When the final timers go off...

- Slice one half of the turkey breast tenderloin (3 oz) and peel one hard-boiled egg.
- Plate with oatmeal, fruit, and chocolate.
- Nom the hell out of it.

Now... honesty is the best policy, so I'll tell you now that my prep was nothing like this. It took me a whole lot longer to prepare this meal than it should have.

But... I... uh... had never hard-boiled an egg before? I thought it was a quick thing! Eh... now I know. And... more importantly, I made four today instead of one, so I'm set for a bit.

Mid-prep, I worried that I wouldn't be able to eat so much food. It just seemed like a whole lot to have for breakfast.

So how much did I eat?

Oh... only this much:


And the best part is, I feel great! I didn't feel full but I did feel satisfied. I felt like I was good to go. And now, a full four hours later, I'm still feeling good. I had a banana just now and I think my body is asking for more of that leftover PowerBar.

Don't mind if I do...

Vegan Chocolate Coconut Cupcakes

Good morning, lovely.


Hmph. Yeah, I can hear you. I know what you're thinking.

"So what? It's a cupcake. It looks chocolate, but whatev. Why do we care?"

Well... maybe you don't care. And I won't try to make you... but if you were to give a flip, I'd encourage you to find the animal products in this pile of ingredients.


Can't? Good. These chocolate & coconut cupcakes are vegan, babies.


Which explains why yesterday I found myself standing beside a friend, staring into a bowl of chocolate soy milk and vinegar and wondering if it would ever - in fact - curdle. (It didn't.)


We soldiered on though... and forked the dry ingredients in a separate bowl.


And combined them (in two parts) with the soy & vinegar solution.


I then poured 1/4 of a cup of batter into each cupcake liner. Apparently while I did that, the vegan said or did something funny.


Exactly 15 minutes after the cupcakes went into the 350 degree oven, they were perfectly cooked and domed. And just... perfect. Chocolatey and moist but very light with a velvety crumb. It might be a new go to chocolate cake recipe for me.


The icing was not so perfect, but it was my first time trying to make a buttercream with... "buttery spread." Here you can see the shortening and buttery spread whipped together.


After adding the extracts, coconut milk, and powdered sugar, it pulled together like a weak icing. Not bad... but odd. As in, really light in texture but wicked sweet. So I'm going to do some finagling with the icing recipe. I'm going to consult Wilton next time.


The verdict: vegan shmegan. Maybe it's because I didn't have to do anything with silken tofu, but I didn't really find vegan baking too taxing. What does that mean? Well... I think it means I need a gluten free friend to come along and really rock my baking boat.

Should you or a vegan treat of yours want to follow in my ever-cautious, fumbling footsteps, here are the recipes I used.

Basic (Vegan) Chocolate Cake from Chow

1 cup soy milk (We used Light Chocolate Silk because I already had it.)
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract, chocolate extract, or more vanilla extract (We used coconut because we thought, why not?)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder, Dutch-processed or regular
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 350°F and line a muffin pan with paper or foil liners.

2. Whisk together the soy milk and vinegar in a large bowl, and set aside for a few minutes to curdle. Add the sugar, oil, vanilla extract, and other extract, if using, to the soy milk mixture and beat until foamy. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add in two batches to wet ingredients and beat until no large lumps remain (a few tiny lumps are OK).

3. Pour into liners, filling 3/4 of the way. Bake 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Transfer to a cooling rack and let cool completely.

Coconut Icing (a revision of the Vegan Fluffy Buttercream Frosting from Chow)

1/2 cup nonhydrogenated shortening
1/2 cup nonhydrogenated margarine (We used BestLife Buttery Spread because anyone who doesn't listen to Oprah should be questioned.)
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted if clumpy (You already know I did not sift.)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract (We used 1 t coconut extract and 1/2 t vanilla extract.)
1/4 cup plain soy milk or soy creamer (We used coconut milk.)

1. Beat the shortening and margarine together until well combined and fluffy. Add the sugar and beat for about 3 more minutes.

2. Add the vanilla and soy milk, and beat for another 5 to 7 minutes until fluffy.

Now that I'm writing out this recipe, I'm thinking that the coconut milk was the problem. I think it's a bit too thin to really bring together a nice icing. So perhaps before I go to all the way to Wilton, I'll just try making it with soy.

PB Mocha Muffins and the Sniffles

So I have quite a case of the sniffles. I know, I know. You care very much and would love nothing more than for me to talk about that at length.

But you know what, blogensteins, I'm not going to dwell on my sniffles.

Instead, I'm just going to show you these muffins, tell you where you can find the recipe, and then leave you to it.


Now just a word of warning. You will only like these muffins if you like coffee, chocolate, and peanut butter.

Secondary warning: If you don't like any one of those three ingredients, then you and I will need to re-evaluate our friendship. Just sayin.


One way you might get back into my good graces would be to buy me a regular sized cupcake pan. So I don't have to do things like this anymore.

Anyway... the recipe. You can find it here at Fat Girl Trapped in a Skinny Body. And, yes, we hate her, as it is almost as upsetting to be skinny as it is to be wealthy and happy. But she makes a good muffin, so we're working on forgiving her the unfortunate blog title.

And now, I'm going to finish watching Never Been Kissed and then go to bed. Yes, being sick sucks. But sleeping a lot without feeling like a lazy bum? That's not bad at all.

Daring Bakers: Croquembouche

Wow. It's been a while. Like... nearly a year, a while. If I had gotten pregnant the day I posted my last Daring Bakers post, I would have had a 2 month old baby on my lap while I wrote this post. (I'll give us all a moment to collectively shudder at the thought of me with a baby...)

Okay... back? Good. Me too.

Like I was saying, I've been a slack Daring Baker since I moved to Georgia. But that all changes today. And I'm excited about that.

So... Hello, Daring Bakers! Hello, friends who read even when I'm not baking or baking daringly! Hello, extremely ambitious baked goods that I have no plans for consuming but will bake anyway just because it's fun! Let's get right to it.

The May 2010 Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Cat of Little Miss Cupcake. Cat challenged everyone to make a piece montée, or croquembouche, based on recipes from Peter Kump’s Baking School in Manhattan and Nick Malgieri.

Being me... I did exactly that. With just a couple of my own modifications, of course. If you want the original recipes, you can find them here.

First... I made the dairy-free version of the pastry cream. With dairy. Does that make any sense to you? Yeah... me neither.


I took a container of banana cream pie yogurt, added some confectioner's sugar to it, and then thickened it with cornstarch. It... worked. That's about all I can say for that.


Next, the dough for the choux pastry comes together really quickly on the stovetop.


After removing it from the heat, adding the eggs makes the dough less like play dough and more like a mashed potato consistency.


Even the piping is not bad. Throw that stuff in a couple of ziploc bags (I'm still out of piping bags. I know... for shame.) and you're good to go.


The baking bit is probably the most nerve-wracking, but luckily Alicia had told me to watch those things and bake them at a lower temperature than the recipe suggests. Mine came out perfectly.


Then it's just a matter of filling the profiteroles with the pastry cream (stuff, in my case) that has been chilled and building the croquembouche.


The building is tough too... My profiteroles were dipped in melted chocolate and then piled high. And... well... then they fell over while they were supposed to be chilling and setting in the refrigerator. As you can see here.


But! That's nothing a different angle with the camera can't fix. ; )

Oh, and the flavor of the things... Well. Hmph. They taste exactly how you'd imagine profiterole filled with thickened banana cream pie yogurt and dipped in chocolate to taste. Odd. Not bad, but not amazing either.

How-ev-er, I am very pleased with the fact that I am now a Daring Baker again. Maybe a struggling one, maybe a half-assed one, but a Daring Baker nonetheless.

It feels good.

But now I'm wicked tired. (Did I mention that I realized Wednesday, May 26th at 2pm that I needed to make this croquembouche post it in the next 10 hours? Well... that might have been how it went down.)

Cheating on ice cream with...

this guy?

Yap. And it's delicious.


Take a few frozen bananas, slice them up, toss them into a food processor (do as I say not as I do, the personal blender sucked for this task) with a dollop of Nutella (optional), and blend.


Voila. Frozen treat that you won't believe is just... fruit. Well... and Nutella. But Nutella is a fruit too, right?

Right. And since this cup of goodness is sooo ridiculously healthy, you can splurge with the toppings. Like... say...


Some of that leftover red velvet cookie dough? Yes... yes, I think that will do nicely.

Don't judge this treat by my poorly lit pictures. Go ahead and buy some bananas, peel and freeze those suckers, and try this for yourself. Next time I'm even skipping the Nutella. (o_O)

A Chocolate Peanut Butter Birthday

Happy Birthday, Mr. President.


Seriously. Try to tell me that isn't one sexy cake.

It's fine. Don't hurt yourself trying. I know you can't, in good conscience, act like that cake is just okay. (Am I getting a bit puffed up? You are more than welcome to smack me.)

Anyways...


This three layered chocolate peanut butter cake is not a first run cake for me. I made it last summer and carved it into a hot tub. But... this occasion called for a more traditional presentation. So I layered the rich chocolate cake with creamy peanut butter buttercream.


And coated the whole thing with that very same icing, reserving just a bit for later. And then... ooooh... and then... I made up a thick semi-sweet chocolate ganache with a healthy dose of peanut butter melted in.


I let it cool a bit so it wouldn't completely get away from me, and then I poured it over the top and encouraged a little over the sides. Just enough to look tempting and rich, but not enough to cover all of that gorgeous buttercream.


Finally, I fit a piping bag with a star tip and filled it with the leftover buttercream. Next time I'll add more sugar to this decorative buttercream so I can have big, poofy pillows of buttercream on top. These stars are a bit retiring.

Despite the retiring stars, no one complained about this festive bit of decadence. The birthday boy, who requested something rich and chocolate on par with this blast from the past, was beyond pleased. Just today I received a text in which he proclaimed me a "miracle baker." Well... I don't know about all that... but I sure can follow a recipe. ; )


By the way, how do you like the birthday boy's cake slicer?

Dessert-on-Dessert Action

Today I made a pie.


A sweet, traditional, unassuming pie.

Or did I?

Of course I didn't. You know me better than that by now, don't you?

What I actually made was... well... this.


A cookie cake pie. Or, as I've begun to call it, The Peter, Paul, and Mary.

(Yeah, yeah, just hear me out. I also wanted to call this the Britney, the Circus, or the Threesome, but Peter, Paul, and Mary just seemed classier.)

I'll explain this open-minded, party all-the-time dessert from the ground up. You can make this entire dessert from frozen bits and box mixes if you want. I believe Cakespy was the original poster, but Kitchen Koala has also made it and I followed her confetti cake recipe for my pie.


It's fairly simple. Start with a pie crust (I used a frozen one... because I had it) and add a layer of cookie dough to the bottom (I used a mix... because I had it). Cover the cookie dough with cake batter and bake the whole thing at 350 degrees for 35 minutes to an hour. I've seen different times recommended, but I've also seen squidgier versions of this pie. I baked mine for between 50 and 55 minutes, until the cake tester came out clean. This way, my cake was fully cooked and it didn't fall when it cooled. Perfection.

Where I diverged from my cookie cake pie predecessors was in the topping. Cakespy used vanilla buttercream and Kitchen Koala used a cream cheese icing. How-ev-er, this was far too sweet a prospect for me. I love sweet, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.



So I topped my pie with Julia Child's Italian Meringue and popped it under the broiler for a minute or so. The meringue is light as air and allows the pie crust, chocolate chip cookie, and vanilla almond confetti cake flavors to shine. You got all that, right?

I hope so. Because having all these fantastic flavors all in one bite is an amazing experience.


If the word "mouthgasm" doesn't mean anything to you, then make this pie, eat a slice, and call me later.

World Nutella Day!

Decadence, thy name is Nutella.



Per the World Nutella Day website:

Sara from Ms. Adventures in Italy and Michelle from Bleeding Espresso (and Shelley from At Home in Rome, in spirit) solemnly declare Friday, February 5th “World Nutella Day 2010″ – a day to celebrate, to get creative with, and most importantly, to EAT Nutella.

Because I like to do what I'm told...


Disclaimer: (Is it still a disclaimer if it comes after the thing it's disclaiming? Or does it technically have to come before and warn you of the badness ahead? Anyways...) Video is 7 and a half minutes of Amanda time, largely uncut, until the ending at which point there is a large, abrupt, dramatic cut that is jarring at best. I understand but I'm too tired to do any better. Remember that the time between when I learned of Nutella Day and the time of posting was about three hours.

For the readers among you, here's the recipe:

gather...
Two slices of pound cake
Smathering of Nutella (As much as you can handle... It's a holiday after all.)
Banana slices (six fit on my slices)

do...
Make the sandwich, kids. I really should have to explain it, right?
Panini that thing on the middle setting for 2 minutes.
Eat and enjoy.

Why are dinosaurs green?

Really. I'm asking.


I feel like dinosaurs are green, green in cartoon form but drab browns and greys in the Museum of Natural History form.


The reality must have been somewhere in the middle. If you think about it... the animals with cool colors are the most badass ones... the ones that afford to stand out because if anybody starts anything, they are ready to lay the smack down.


Now answer me this: who, if not a dinosaur, is ready to kick ass and take names?


Exactly. So... I believe that the dinosaurs must have come in some pretty rad colors. Like pink. And electric blue. And paisely (Yes, it's a color. Don't fight me on this one.)


All of that said, I have no idea why - when given free choice - I chose to make my dinosaur cookies green. Call me traditional.



Brownie Roll-Out Cookies
from Smitten Kitchen

Recipe from Deb’s mom

3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup lightly salted butter, softened (Deb note: I don’t really see “lightly salted” much these days, so I used one stick salted, one stick unsalted)
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa (I used the “good” stuff–Droste or Galler–but I can assure you that my mother only used Hershey’s growing up, so your choice)

Preheat oven at 350 degrees. Whisk dry flour, salt and baking powder in bowl and set aside. Mix butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla and cocoa in mixer. Gradually add flour mixture, and mix until smooth. Wrap in plastic and chill for at least one hour.

Roll out cookie dough on floured counter. Cut into desired shapes, brushing extra deposits of flour off the top. (It does disappear once baked, though, so don’t overly fret if they go into the oven looking white.) Bake on a parchment-lined baking sheet for 8 to 11 minutes (the former for 1/8-inch thick cookies, the latter for 1/4-inch cookies) until the edges are firm and the centers are slightly soft and puffed.

Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Royal Icing
(Wilton method)

**For Piping Outlines**

1 and 1/2 tablespoons Meringue Powder
2 cups confectioner's sugar
3 tablespoons lukewarm water

Mix sugar and meringue powder until combined. Add water slowly (you may not need all of it) until consistency is right for piping. Mix on medium low speed for 7 - 10 minutes until icing loses its sheen. Add coloring if desired.

**For Filling In**

Slowly add up to another few tablespoons of water to leftover piping icing. Be sure to mix thoroughly before you add more water. It doesn't take much to make a difference. "Flooding" icing is ready when you raise the blender and the icing that drips from the beater is invisible in the bowl after a few seconds.

Royal Icing Tips:

+ Royal icing sets up hard very quickly. Keep all icing bowls, utensils, piping tips, etc. covered with wet paper towels when not in use.

+ Allow piped edges to dry for 1 - 2 hrs to prevent color bleeding. If you are piping and filling with the same color, you can be impatient like me and cheat on this.

+ Use a spoon to drop some thin flooding icing onto one cookie at a time. Use the back of the spoon to spread icing to the piped edge.


Delish, right?

Right.

Happy Birthday, Cupcake Rehab!

I'll be honest. I'm pretty excited about this post. Yes, it my first cupcake post in over a month. But. BUT! More importantly, this post details my Cupcake Rehab tribute cupcake!

Many of you will remember my blogmother, Marilla of Cupcake Rehab. She's known for her fierceness, both general and cupcaked. Well, this September marks the second birthday of Cupcake Rehab and Marilla is offering a giveaway for the occasion.

The rules are simple. Build a Cupcake Rehab themed cupcake and tell her about it by October 12th. (There is clearly still pleeenty of time, so check it out HERE and build a cupcake yourself!)

So... drumroll...


TA DA! This is my humble submission to the Cupcake Rehab 2nd Birthday giveaway extravaganza. What makes this cupcake so Cupcake Rehab?

Ah... thank you for asking. Most esoterically (is that a word?!), this cupcake is Cupcake Rehab inspired because both Marilla and I have had epic failures with Paula Deen cupcake recipes (hers Red Velvet, mine Arnold Palmers). This cupcake involved the hybridization of two Paula Deen recipes. Yes, children, two. I went there.

In a more obvious, on the nose way, this cupcake looks kinda like the one she created for this Undead Logo:



Orrr... at least that's what I was going for. :) Don't flip back and forth between the two pics... then it's just silly.

But wait! There's more!

If you think this undead cupcake couldn't possibly get any cooler or more twisted, then you've got another thing coming. And that thing is...


liqui-freakin-faction. That's right, my sweets. The rotting corpse of the undead, bones (or walnuts) and all, is lurking just below the surface of these cupcakes.

I really wish I could upload a picture of the sick smirk on my face as I type out the grotesque details. It's just too good. The cupcake, that is. The smirk is probably ridiculous and very unflattering. So I'll leave it at that.

Back to the cupcake: It's delish! The putrid body of the undead is actually a chocolate caramel turtle baked inside the chocolate cake in a two-layered baking process.

The icing is nothing to brag about, so I'll leave that out, but here is the hybridized Paula Deen recipe for Undead Cupcakes, or what she might call "Chocolate Sybil Turtle Cake" if someone forced her to.

Cake:
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
4 eggs
1 cup AP flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 16 oz. can Hershey's chocolate syrup

Turtle:
1 14 oz. package caramel candies
1/2 cup butter
1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 6 oz. pkg semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts


Process:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Ready cupcake tins.

Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Sift dry ingredients, add to creamed mixture, beat. Add vanilla and chocolate syrup to batter and mix well. Pour about 1/8 cup batter into bottom of cupcake liners. Bake for 7 minutes. (I got 24 cupcakes from the batter. Because of pan concerns though, I had to do these 12 at a time.) Remove from oven and allow to cool completely. Yes... really.

Meanwhile, prepare turtles. Melt caramel candies with butter in a saucepan. When completely melted, remove from heat and stir in condensed milk until smooth. Let mixture cool completely (we might have rushed this). Add chocolate chips and nuts.


When cupcakes are cool, dollup turtle mixture on top of cooled cake. I'd say a scant tablespoon.

Cover turtle with batter until cupcakes are 3/4 full. This cake doesn't spread much, so it's okay to get it close to the top. Return to oven for about 12 minutes. Check for doneness and re-evaluate.

A lot of work? Perhaps.

Worth it in the end? Without a doubt.

I'll be singing the praises of this undead cupcake for a loooong time.

So Happy 2nd Blog Birthday, Marilla!

And, in closing... I'll extend the same warm wishes that my brother recently extended to me: I love you, but if you were a zombie, I'd blow you apart so stinkin fast...