Too _____ to Live

My short stature is the big joke in my family. At a diminutive 5'1", I get all the Liliputian humor I can handle from just about everyone. Never mind the fact that they are no tall drinks of water themselves, my family just likes to remind me that I am, in fact, the shortest person around.

I really don't mind being short. I think it makes the overall package just a little bit cuter. But... when trying on clothes that are too long or trying to retrieve things from grocery store shelves, a particular Golden Girls clip quite often comes to mind.

Thanks to the almighty powers of YouTube, you don't have to suffer through my explanation of the thing. You can just watch it.



That's right. I'm too short to live.

My understanding of this fact was solidified recently when I decided that I need new tennis shoes.

Ugh.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. You see... in keeping with my miniature condition, I have laughably small feet. And, though I wear "big girl" shoes every day, I wear youth-sized tennis shoes because adult tennis shoes just don't fit right.

So finding a pair of tennis shoes without sparkles, flowers, or lights on the back is tricky. And, sadly, I've fully given up on finding tennis shoes that are not pink.

Maybe it's something about Georgia, but on this most recent excursion, I found some real gems that I feel the need to share with you.

Exhibit A:


Elmo. ELMO. On my foot. I wish the picture weren't so horrible, but I think you can get the idea. EL-MO, people.

You want to know the saddest part? These shoes were ridiculously comfortable. So comfortable and supportive that I actually stood there and thought about whether I was gangster enough to pull off an Elmo New Balance. (I'm not.)

Exhibit B:


Cupcake Couture hightops. Again... not enough of a badass. But how h.o.t. are these kicks?!

Exhibit C:


Multi-colored Sperrys. Now... here we might have found the silver lining in all this. These shoes were real Sperrys, not those off-brands that look close, but they were half the price of legit Sperrys because they are youth sized.

These I also contemplated. And walked away from. I already feel like a prepenstein when I wear my tan Sperrys, I was worried I would feel like even more of a poser in the multi-colored ones.

So what do you think? Should I embrace my child-sized foot and wear some of these bossy sneaks with my head held high? Or... should I continue to try them on, laugh, take a picture, and walk away?

Oh, and for those interested, I didn't find new tennis shoes yet. The best fit was a girls Nike Shox pair in silver (ew) with hot pink shox (oy). Couldn't do it.