Queer Query: My Root

Yesterday I posed this queer query:

What is one early memory worth sharing that makes you nod your head and say, “Yep. I was born this way?” What is your queer root?

The root of my particular queerness can be traced right back to… Beauty and the Beast.

The Disney movie.

Just think about it:

A nerdy girl who wants more than this provincial life runs off into the woods to rescue her hapless father from certain death at the hands of a legit beast. In order to free her caged father, she must live in the castle and dress up for the beast who’s taken a liking to her. She dutifully puts in time both batting her lashes and scolding this helpless brute, until one night he gets in a fight with another suitor, ascends to the heavens, acquires spirit finger jazz hands, and falls back to earth as the most beautifully effeminate dandy.

In other words, Belle meets someone. Moves in far too soon. Watches her life partner fend off another butch and marries the fairy when the dust settles.

I don’t know how I didn’t see it all along.

I mean. C’mon.



Super gay.

No wonder I ran home from school most days to watch it.

Other "My Root" posts from my friends:
Bren from Buzzcuts and Bustiers
G from Can I Help You, Sir?
Bee at Patriarchy Party Crasher
Timidvenus at Beautiful Suffering
Let me know when you write about your root! I want to read. : )

A Queer Query

Last night I went to sleep debating the possibility of participating in NaNoWriMo this month. Do I have time? Am I interested in writing a novel? Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus wrote autobiographies, so I’m old enough to write a memoir… right?

This morning my usual social network review turned up this post in which Bee determines to blog more in November.

Well.

Now.

That I could get into: regular posting, a return to a simpler, more prolific time. And, unlike NaNoWriMo, no one would be holding me to word counts. (Oh heeeeey, 50,000 words!)

I excitedly tweeted Bee to let her know I might steal her idea and the whole thing snowballed from there. Folks joining in, sharing ideas, and generally getting excited about writing. There was talk of writing prompts, blog community, and even media moguls… all of it queer.

Do I need to tell you what all of this did for this queer writing teacher’s heart? DO I?!

So… here I am. Writing the first post of my November attempt to blog more. Regularly.

And in this post, I’m going to set up the first prompt for our little queer blogger community. There are no rules, restrictions, or binaries; just respond to the prompt if you want to. I’ll probably come back later tonight to respond to the prompt myself. Here goes nothing!

What is your root?

I’m sure many of us have seen But I’m a Cheerleader. And many of us have joked about our “roots.” If you haven’t seen it, or you’d just like the refresher, enjoy:



Now, we all know that none of these things made our beloved characters gay. Graham’s mom’s wedding pants didn’t force her into lady love.

But.

It’s pretty damn funny to, as a grown ass lesbian, look back on my childhood and point out the queer bits that I didn’t notice at the time. I’d love to tell you about one of my queer roots and read about yours too.

What is one early memory that makes you nod your head and say, “Yep. I was born this way?” Tell us about your root.


Annnnd... Here’s a sneak preview for my root, if you’re interested:


Now... go forth and blog, my friends! About this prompt or about anything your hearts desire! If you do respond to the prompt though, let me know! Send me the link in the comments or on twitter. I want to read!

Thank you all for helping me get back on track with the blog world. : )

The Handwriting Game

This week, Grace (over at Grace Undone) tagged me in The Handwriting Game. The rules are simple. Answer the seven questions in your own handwriting, post pics, and then tag three other bloggers.

I would make it complicated by having at least half a dozen handwritings. It's what I do. I can't help it. Different situations call for different scripts.

Why do you think there are so many fonts in the world?! Same thing... I just like have my own internal font system.

Be jealous. Anyway... this is my quick and dirty handwriting. The one I use when I'm not thinking about my handwriting. I figured it was the truest version of the thing.

The Handwriting Game

1. Your name / Your blog name (Yeah... just noticing I did that one wrong. Whatevs. You know me.)

2. Your website

3. Write: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

4. Your favorite quote

5. Your favorite song

6. Your favorite singer or band

7. Anything else you'd like to say?

And now to the tagging bit...

(Don't be sad if you didn't make the three, do it anyway and let me know. I kiiiiinda have a thing for handwriting. See the tag below.)

1. Kate

2. Amber

3. Kaitlin

Enjoy, ladies. And the rest of you... go write something, will you?!

Busy Day and Awkward Blogging. Oh, and a Burger.

Harumph, dear readers. Just... harumph.


(ground turkey... for the weak at... stomach?)

I uploaded the pics for this blogpost last night. I'd been saving this blog post all day as my reward for doing real work.

So last night when I realized that I had done my work and was completely prepped for Tuesdays teaching marathon, I dutifully selected the few pics that would actually make it from my memory card to this post.

By "dutifully selected", I most nearly mean that I narrowed each shot down to a couple of options and quizzed a semi-willing friend on "which is better?" Small beans... the pictures were selected by someone.


And then they were uploaded.

And then they were put in order.

And then I stared at them.


I... had nothing. No words. No inspiration. No motivation even.

I bugged the same semi-willing friend for a topic. She... was no help. She even compared some of my pics (the only things I had going for me at that point) to dog food.

Yes. Yes, I know. We're no longer friends.


So... I metaphorically shelved this blogpost for the night. I closed the laptop. I walked away. I slept on it.

(Who am I kidding? I slept on my bed.)


But then something funny happened at lunch today. Or... more accurately... in the small portion of time in which I should be having lunch.

Something about eating poptarts from a refrigerated vending machine just... well... made me remember everything that was wonderful about the burgers I couldn't bring myself to post last night.


So there you have it.

A glimpse into the inner workings of my bizarre little mind, and a new twist on some leftovers that you may recognize from the Easy Gyro Pizza.

Here's the rough recipe: (I'm blogging from the office, remember?)

.5 lb of ground turkey
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp salt
cracked pepper to taste (meaning I didn't measure)
half a red onion, chopped
pat of butter for sauteeing onion
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
sour cream
feta cheese
1 sheet of puff pastry
1 egg

1. In a small skillet, brown up the red onion in butter.
2. In medium bowl, combine ground turkey, oregano, salt, pepper, and red onion. Mix.
3. Form into three patties, filling each with a bit of mozzarella cheese.
4. Cook patties in a medium skillet.
5. Lay out thawed puff pastry sheet.
6. Dollop sour cream in the middle of each sheet and top with feta. When burgers are done, place on top of feta.
7. Wrap puff pastry around burger and seal edges.
8. Brush pastry tops with egg wash.
9. Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, or until pastry is golden brown.

I hope your lunch was better than mine. Two hours later... I'm already hungry.

Week of Wardrobe: Inspiration Strikes!

Last week I found a new-to-me blog that soaked up a full two hours of my Monday. Was it worth it? Absolutely. That amazingly inspirational blog is Skinny's FitforaFemme. Skinny's wardrobe is perfect. It's inventive, chic, retro, and saucy, all at the same time. The same could be said for the blog layout itself too. I'm beyond jealous.

So while I looked through the archives on Monday, I decided that I needed a bit more style in my life. Now, if I tried to go from zero to Skinny in no time flat, I'm pretty sure I'd pull something. I mean, come on, the girl wore this outfit on moving day. But... I did my best. I pulled the skirts and dresses to the front of the closet and dusted off the heels. I also embraced the jewelry I usually eschew.

Monday

In all honesty, this outfit was put together after my workday for Happy Hour with the girls. But... this was my first attempt at a FitforaFemme inspired look. And Alicia told me I looked "very pin-up." Alll-riiiight.

Tuesday

On Monday, while looking through the blog, I promised a friend that I would wear a skirt the next day, come hell or high water. Well, wouldn't you believe it, we had torrential downpours all. damn. day. But... a promise is a promise! So I took my car to the shop in the pouring rain in a light pink denim skirt and paisley rainboots.

Wednesday

Nothing says, "I got this" like a DIY obi belt. Nothing says, "Don't mind me" like a Biology teacher necklace and a Joseph Smith approved shrug. Combining these stuffs for final exams just seemed like the right thing to do.

Thursday

I felt very hip and femme in this multi-patterned, multicolored look. And it's a good thing... because I completely lost all color on...

Friday

Blair picked out this cheetah patterned, Mad Men inspired, Calvin Klein number for me. I added the bow flats and bold bracelet to pull together the Flintstones feel. What do you think, Kate? Is a Starbucks cup still the perfect accessory?

(Friday continued...)

One of my students broke bad on Friday. And it was absolutely hot as blazes in GA. I got home around 5pm, exhausted and aggravated as hell. But... I have a feeling that one last accessory can improve both the outfit and the outlook...


Ahhh, yes. Much better. No offense, Kate, but I think this jewel encrusted flask of scotch is better than any Starbucks cup I've ever seen. This girl is now ready for the rounds: Happy Hour, a birthday party, and a graduation party. (You've seen the birthday cake. Keep an eye out for the graduation one!)

Saturday

See what I mean about the color waving goodbye on Thursday? I didn't realize it until I was putting this post together, but boy was the end of my week a drag. I'd like to defend myself by pointing out that Friday's shirt has a silk bow collar that you can't see in the poor lighting, but you and I both know I wore the same jeans both days. Stuff happens.

To buck up a bit, I took the clippers to my hair Saturday morning. But... I bet you can't even tell. Most every day this week I ended up pinning my bangs back or under so they wouldn't be driving me crazy, so the visible change is more subtle than the piles of hair on my bathroom floor would suggest.

So... some conclusions on my FitforaFemme inspired Week of Wardrobe:

+ Purposefully dressing like a girly girl is hard work.
+ I need more clothes. And shoes. And jewelry. And eye makeup.
+ Dresses are the GA girl's best friend. A friend let me in on this conclusion, actually, but I plan to run with it.
+ My kitchen posing leaves A LOT to be desired. A. Lot.

Annd... if you missed them, here are my previous Week of Wardrobe posts, complete with links to my sister's WoW posts.

Rock me, Mama, like a...

Wagon Wheel!

I made the above goodness based loosely on my girl Marilla's Three Cheese Spirals. And today... I just want to nom the hell out of them.

Sadly, I made (and ate) them about four weeks ago.

Amanda's a WoW kid!: Week of Wardrobe v. 1

Hulloh, new blog feature!

Well... possible new blog feature. If you all like it. And leave enough comments to make me feel good about myself. And like I wouldn't mind spending the extra time taking awkward daily pictures of myself.

Anyways... the feature.

A Week of Wardrobe was my sister's idea. She tried it out a while back and she put another edition together this week. The idea is simple... one pic each day for a week showing that day's outfit. Now... my sister is a bank teller. And a hipster. I am a composition instructor with little regard for normalcy or anything uncomfortable. So... this could get interesting.

Enjoy.

Sunday:

Out-of-town teacher uses the distance from students to wear age- (if not profession) appropriate t-shirt.

Monday:



80's rebel, John Hughes style. Tough as nails and smoking in the bathroom, until two-thirds of the way through the film when she cracks a bit.

Tuesday:



Long lost Jonas sister. You can just tell I'm saving myself for marriage, can't you?

Wednesday (Day of Hellish 5-Class Reckoning):



Quirky teacher complete with citrusy sweater and flats, tied together with a $2.50 thrifted, homemade belt. (Holla, faculty bathroom mirror!)

Thursday:



Told that Smalltown will "feel like winter," our heroine winterizes a basic grey t-shirt with the wonderscarf and a jacket, just in case they weren't kidding.

Friday (pt. 1):



That girl who uses Casual Friday to show up all her co-workers by dressing up for the first time that week.

Friday (pt. 2):



This, ladies and gentlemen, is called "finding your light" (at least it would be if the light were any count). This is also called appropriate attire for going out on Friday night in Smalltown. Sigh.

Saturday:



If you follow me on Twitter and paid attention on Friday night, you can probably guess why I played the role of dirty hippy on Saturday. The reality of the morning headache and the prospect of errands, baking, and house cleaning landed me in comfort world: white T, jeans that I can put on and take off without ever unzipping, TOMS, and not a stitch of the makeups.

And... because I just can't end the post with that picture...

Sunday:


Trying out a new coffee shop mandates the humanities woman costume and I willingly comply. And take a picture of myself in said costume in the bathroom.

And that, dear friends and lurkers, is a Week of my Wardrobe. Don't forget to take a gander at my sister's WoW post here. We also talked the Domestic Empress into joining the fold too, so you can check out her week when she posts it on Thursday or Friday.

World Nutella Day!

Decadence, thy name is Nutella.



Per the World Nutella Day website:

Sara from Ms. Adventures in Italy and Michelle from Bleeding Espresso (and Shelley from At Home in Rome, in spirit) solemnly declare Friday, February 5th “World Nutella Day 2010″ – a day to celebrate, to get creative with, and most importantly, to EAT Nutella.

Because I like to do what I'm told...


Disclaimer: (Is it still a disclaimer if it comes after the thing it's disclaiming? Or does it technically have to come before and warn you of the badness ahead? Anyways...) Video is 7 and a half minutes of Amanda time, largely uncut, until the ending at which point there is a large, abrupt, dramatic cut that is jarring at best. I understand but I'm too tired to do any better. Remember that the time between when I learned of Nutella Day and the time of posting was about three hours.

For the readers among you, here's the recipe:

gather...
Two slices of pound cake
Smathering of Nutella (As much as you can handle... It's a holiday after all.)
Banana slices (six fit on my slices)

do...
Make the sandwich, kids. I really should have to explain it, right?
Panini that thing on the middle setting for 2 minutes.
Eat and enjoy.

So... my sister has this blog...

And I think it's high time I shared it with you guys.

My semester is getting ready to start on Monday (the 11th) and I'm in that crazy planning space. So my posting will be sporadic at best. And my sister is so far demonstrating that she is in the blogger zone. Her faire is a bit hipster (and by "a bit" I mean, "like woah") and that makes for fun reading.

Her latest post includes a Rilo Kiley-backed video of her mending my mechanic father's workshirts on her new sewing machine.

Yeah. I know. She's adorable.

Okay... go read!

www.jeccaandrew.blogspot.com

Later, dudes. ; )

How I've Missed You

(I know... broken record... I embedded the song on Saturday and here I am quoting it on Monday. Sue me.)

Anyway... I have missed you, blogensteins! I want to make this up to you by allowing you to decide what you hear about from my hiatus.

We'll start simple. With categories.

Option 1: Family Oddities

Wherein Amanda provides some character sketches of involved parties and a story of comical, yet touching, relevance.

Option 2: Food Stuffs

Wherein Amanda drolls on about some bit of cuisine cooked up between November 27th and December 26th.

Option 3: Fashion Forwardness

Wherein Amanda pretends you're interested and hands out advice, criticism, or just plain sass on some aspect of dress, carriage, or accessory (in?)appropriate to the season.

So... there you have it. Three categorical options. Vote for your fave in the poll on the right there (no log in required), and in a few days or so, I'll be back to offer you options within the chosen category.

Mail Call!

When I got home from my loooong day of teaching with half a voice, I was greeted by a very exciting package on my doorstep. My everpresent landlord actually saw me find and recognize the package as my Zombie Cupcake prizes and called over, "Someone sent you a Christmas present!"

(I think I caught him off guard when I responded in my manly rasp, but it got me inside my house without having to carry on a conversation.)


The package encouraged me to be careful when opening... and careful I was.


Look at all the goodies. :) Let's take a closer look, ya?

My prize package included:


A pouch made by Yoyo of Topstitch.


An awesome Cupcake Rehab inspired painting by Christine Comis.


Pink polka dot cupcake liners from Lyns of Sweet Cuppin Cakes.


And... a handwritten note from Marilla.

There was so much pink in this package, people. And I love it. I've already decided where to hang the painting, what to put in the pouch, and how I'm going to fill those liners.

A big THANK YOU to Marilla for hosting a Cupcake Rehab 2nd Birthday Giveaway. And another THANK YOU to the prize sponsors. You guys are tops.

Almond Butter: Take Two (this time there's a cupcake)

On Tuesday, I told you about my almond butter fiasco. Well... after that disaster, I found almond butter at Bi-Low. (Who knew?!) I used the almond butter to put together my Cupcake Hero November: Nut Butter entry.

Blackberry Almond Cupcakes
A moist, vanilla almond eggless cake topped with almond nut butter icing and a sprinkling of powdered sugar.

But wait... just beneath the surface lurk...



Two different fillings. I was inspired to double fill these cupcakes by a donut I had at a Tim Hortons in Maine. This ridonkulously decadent donut was filled with both jelly and icing. Having enjoyed the experience very much, I decided to cupcake it. And why not cupcake it with a nut butter icing?

For the icing bit, I made up a thick almond butter icing. To complement that icing, I chose a blackberry jam.


As you can see, the result is visually fantastic. And though one taster thought the effect was a bit peanut butter and jelly, she loved the flavor of the almond butter icing.

All other tasters were unavailable for comment, as the cupcake rendered them speechless. There were a lot of "oh man"s and "wow"s and "ungh"s. High praise indeed.

Without further ado, here are the recipes.

Super Moist Vanilla Almond Cake
modified from Love and Olive Oil

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup almond meal
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup oil
1 cup almond milk
1/2 tablespoon vanilla bean paste

Preheat oven to 350.

Mix flour, almond meal, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and sugar together in a large bowl.

Whisk oil, almond milk, and vanilla bean paste together in another bowl. Then pour into a well in dry ingredients. Stir until mostly smooth and pour 1/4 c of batter into each liner. (Cupcakes will dome up nicely.)

Bake 20-22 minutes or until cake tester or toothpick comes out clean.

Almond Butter Icing (for filling)
based loosely on allrecipes' Fluffy Peanut Butter Icing

1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup almond butter
1 cup confectioner's sugar
1 tablespoon almond milk (use more if icing is too thick to use as filling)

Blackberry Jam
adapted from Sandra Lee

Stand in jam/jelly aisle for a good few minutes.

Debate worthiness of different fruit jams as they pair with your vision of an almond butter cupcake.

Pull jam (any jam) from the shelf, examine it at length, replace it on the shelf, and leave the grocery store with a jar of Blackberry Jam.

Almond Butter Icing (for frosting)
adapted from this girl

Take remaining almond butter filling and slowly add almond milk until icing is thin enough to spread easily.

The almond butter that just... wasn't.

Cupcake Hero's November ingredient is Nut Butter.

Hmm... nut butter. Nut. Butter.

I didn't want to do peanut butter, because I just have to assume that any peanut butter combination I come up with will be done (and probably done better) in the round-up by someone else.

Since I <3 almond, I decided that an almond butter would be the best, sneakiest, inventive-iest ingredient on which to base my November Cupcake Hero entry. But... as you might have guessed... this is NOT the post in which I unveil my November Cupcake Hero cupcake.

I think you'll see just what kind of post this is in just a minute.

My quest to procure almond butter started in all the usual places: grocery stores, health food stores, the Saturday farmer's market. I was soundly and swiftly disappointed at each place.

Refusing to give up, I researched the process of creating almond butter. Oh, it's so simple. (They said.) Just blanch, peel, roast, and process. (They said.)

It's just a list of steps. I can handle steps, right?


1. Blanche: Bring pot of water to a boil, remove from heat, add almonds, let sit for 15 to 20 minutes.


2. Drain mucky brown water off the almonds and pop the nuts out of their wrinkly skins.

This process made me a little angsty. In a giggly way. So you guys get a video.

(I know you care. I was just in a bad place.)


3. Place nuts in food processor and let her rip. Nuts should (should) become a meal, release oils, become a ball, and finally smooth out to a butter.


Umm... this is as far as I got. Almond meal.

So... almond butter didn't happen for me. But that's okay because now I have over two cups of amazingly fine almond meal. Any recipes I should try?

Zombies FTW!!! (And a Request)

(Welcome to the blogpost in which I shamelessly toot my own horn.)

My zombie cupcakes won the Cupcake Rehab 2nd Birthday Giveaway!!


Check out Marilla's announcement for all the gorey details. And, in case you missed them before, you can read all about the process and product of the zombie cupcakes here.

Okay, okay... now for the request.

The voting for Cupcake Hero October has just opened and will remain open until October 21st at midnight. So... if you wouldn't mind... wander over there and see if my Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes (or any other cupcake for that matter) catch your eye. Just click the bubbles on the right hand side to vote. Couldn't be easier.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes

Update: Voting for Cupcake Hero is now open until October 21st at midnight. Check out the competition and vote here.

Complete credit for that winning title goes to my bff and former college roommate, Kira. This weekend Kira had the honor of being my first houseguest in Smalltown, Georgia. And... since Kira loves to bake as much as I do, we quickly decided to make some sort of complicated dessert happen while she was here.

And, in a perfect storm of blog contest deadlines and amazing thrift store finds, Kira and I decided to make A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes.



In plain English, pumpkin and vanilla swirled cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese icing. As you might imagine, it takes a lot of ingredients to make that cake happen:

And there is just one more ingredient to pull the whole thing together...

Yes, indeed. A $7 Goodwill Cinderella costume.


Kira and I took turns wearing it while we made the cupcakes. Try not to be too jealous of our merriment. You could probably have just as much fun if you lightened up a bit.

Anyway... back to the cakes. We each tackled a batter. Kira made Billy's Vanilla halved by How to Eat a Cupcake and I was in charge of halving the Pumpkin Spice Cake by Joy of Baking.


Once the batters were ready, we got really fancy. I'd dropped and marbled and twirled and tie-dyed batters before, but I wanted these pumpkin swirl cakes to be more deliberately and artfully swirled. So... we filled two piping bags with our two batters, cut the tips, then dropped those two bags into a third bag with a large round tip.


And voila! A fairly labor intensive batter delivery method not for the faint of heart.

We made exactly 12 cupcakes and 24 minis.


In my opinion, it was all worth it. Look at that great loopy swirl! The swirl runs all the way down, around, and in the cupcakes. Ex-act-ly what I wanted. (yay!)

Once the cupcakes cooled, I made a quick cinnamon cream cheese buttercream. I used a brick of cold cream cheese, 5 tablespoons of softened butter, a splash of vanilla, and cinnamon to taste. Easy and delicious.


In keeping with our Cinderella theme, Cupcake Hero ingredient (pumpkin), Booo-tiful Cupcake Contest, we decorated 6 of the cupcakes with magical pumpkins just waiting to be turned into crystal carriages.


We topped the other 6 cupcakes with colored sugar, stars, and hearts and the next thing you know, A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Cakes.


And just take a look at the cross-section shot. Adorable. I just can't say enough about this swirl and how pleased I am with it.

And while we're at it, the flavor and texture of these two cakes works together extremely well. The batters were similar in consistency, so they piped well side-by-side. The combination of pumpkin and vanilla is a wonderful one, I think. I love pumpkin, but I do like to temper it with something creamy - think whipped cream on pie - so the vanilla addition made me very happy.

I would very highly recommend making these for any sort of fall festivus. They are light, moist, soft, and so delicately pumpkin and spiced. Mmmm...

I just might have to go downstairs for a minute... and... ya know... have a cupcake.