Sausages, of link and patty

Alright, so there are no links... but patties! I made sausage patties! ME... the girl who doesn't like to touch meat!

INCONCEIVABLE! (you say)

Not so, kittens! (now we're back to me again)

Here's the sitch: I had 1/2 lb of leftover ground pork from the meatloaf meat-rubbing experience you read about a bit ago. (Don't worry... this post is a little late. The meat was very much still fresh when I sausaged it.) So I thought about what ground pork on its lonesome was actually good for. And... I had no idea. So I consulted allrecipes.com's ingredient search.

Are you familiar with this tool, kittens? Because it's awesome and you should be.

You just list the ingredients you do and don't want (I wanted neither a breakfast casserole or liverwurst) and voila! It gives you options. I saw sausages popping up all over the place, so I went in that direction.

I read a bunch of sausage patty recipes and decided that few of them had everything I wanted. And as far as the ones that did... well, I didn't have everything they wanted. (Such is life, right?) So I finagled and guessed... and came up with this:


To my 1/2 lb of ground pork, I added:

1/3 teaspoon thyme
1/3 teaspoon salt
1/3 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1/3 teaspoon crushed red pepper
few shakes of hot sauce
a good drizzling of butter maple syrup

Then I put my hand in a Ziploc bag...


(Aren't those things versatile?!*) And I mixed up the meat without having to touch it or thoroughly devastate it with a spoon.

After spending some quality time in a skillet on medium high heat...


My sausage patties were ready for action. And they were quite good! Spicy and sausagey without being too greasy or heavy. I loved them. So much so that I...


cut up a patty the next morning, cracked an egg over it, and made a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel sandwich that made my work lunch. And, let's be honest, my whole day.

* My mom, who is of the I'm-not-going-to-look-so-you-just-narrate-for-me camp of scary movie watchers, has come up with a particularly genius way of watching scary movies through a ziploc bag. I'd explain... but she might never forgive me to putting just this part on the interwebs. Point is... ziploc bags are the bomb.

Busy Day and Awkward Blogging. Oh, and a Burger.

Harumph, dear readers. Just... harumph.


(ground turkey... for the weak at... stomach?)

I uploaded the pics for this blogpost last night. I'd been saving this blog post all day as my reward for doing real work.

So last night when I realized that I had done my work and was completely prepped for Tuesdays teaching marathon, I dutifully selected the few pics that would actually make it from my memory card to this post.

By "dutifully selected", I most nearly mean that I narrowed each shot down to a couple of options and quizzed a semi-willing friend on "which is better?" Small beans... the pictures were selected by someone.


And then they were uploaded.

And then they were put in order.

And then I stared at them.


I... had nothing. No words. No inspiration. No motivation even.

I bugged the same semi-willing friend for a topic. She... was no help. She even compared some of my pics (the only things I had going for me at that point) to dog food.

Yes. Yes, I know. We're no longer friends.


So... I metaphorically shelved this blogpost for the night. I closed the laptop. I walked away. I slept on it.

(Who am I kidding? I slept on my bed.)


But then something funny happened at lunch today. Or... more accurately... in the small portion of time in which I should be having lunch.

Something about eating poptarts from a refrigerated vending machine just... well... made me remember everything that was wonderful about the burgers I couldn't bring myself to post last night.


So there you have it.

A glimpse into the inner workings of my bizarre little mind, and a new twist on some leftovers that you may recognize from the Easy Gyro Pizza.

Here's the rough recipe: (I'm blogging from the office, remember?)

.5 lb of ground turkey
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp salt
cracked pepper to taste (meaning I didn't measure)
half a red onion, chopped
pat of butter for sauteeing onion
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
sour cream
feta cheese
1 sheet of puff pastry
1 egg

1. In a small skillet, brown up the red onion in butter.
2. In medium bowl, combine ground turkey, oregano, salt, pepper, and red onion. Mix.
3. Form into three patties, filling each with a bit of mozzarella cheese.
4. Cook patties in a medium skillet.
5. Lay out thawed puff pastry sheet.
6. Dollop sour cream in the middle of each sheet and top with feta. When burgers are done, place on top of feta.
7. Wrap puff pastry around burger and seal edges.
8. Brush pastry tops with egg wash.
9. Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, or until pastry is golden brown.

I hope your lunch was better than mine. Two hours later... I'm already hungry.

Thanksgiving: A Look Back

I'm sure this doesn't surprise you, but I love when people - usually news anchors or school administrators - develop instant nostalgia. You know... the way people talk about something that happened yesterday or maybe the day before with such awe and reverence that you start to question yourself and your lack of concern over that same, fairly insignificant event.

An example:

The Gosselins: Where are they now?

(Personally... I'd watch that special. I know it hasn't even been a week since their finale on Monday, but I miss them.)

Anyway, I'm already getting nostalgic about yesterday's Thanksgiving meal. It was... really quite good. I blame the chef.

Literally, my Thanksgiving meal was made by a friend who is a former executive and then restaurant chef.

We had...


The most moist, delicious, roast turkey I've ever had.

Also on the plate: roasted root vegetables, garlicky asparagus, melt-in-your-mouth onion, creamy mashed potatoes, and baked squash. Not pictured: amazing gravy made from reduced drippings, and cranberry pear relish spiked with orange Stoli.

Sigh.

Luckily, my nostalgia will be calmed a bit when I eat my plate of leftovers tonight.

And stay tuned for dessert. You can look forward to a better picture (and an explanation) of this guy...


And his awkwardly portioned friends.


What'd you eat yesterday? Thanksgiving or not... I'm just curious.

Paula's Mini Burgers in Puff Pastry: All the Good

I don't have a lot to say about these burgers. The take away message is, "Make them now, you won't be sorry."


I watched Paula make a full-size version of these with her sons the other day, and I was very impressed. The burgers are no fuss extra lean ground beef, seasoned with salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard. I got 9 mini burgers out of 16 oz. of ground beef.

After the burgers are fully cooked (I browned them in a skillet and then baked them through), just top them with a piece of cheese, wrap them up in thawed frozen puff pastry, and bake them again. Couldn't be easier.


The only thing easier than making them is... well... eating them. Enjoy!

Here's your recipe:
Paula Deen's Mini Burgers in Puff Pastry

BaconEggAndCheese!!!

or How Breakfast Says "I Love You"


By this point, you probably all know that I love breakfast. What I know that you may not know is that breakfast loves me back. With all her eggy, protein-rich heart. How do I know this?

BaconEggAndCheese sandwiches.

There is no breakfast food more rewarding than a perfectly constructed baconeggandcheese. And, yes, a proper one deserves to be one word. Out of respect.

Anyway, this particular sandwich was made with two buttered, toasted slices of my homemade honey whole wheat bread. I scramble-fried two eggs (I said protein-rich, right? Well... I meant it.) and topped those eggs with one and a half slices of good ol' American cheese. Three strips of bacon later, this sandwich was perfect.


(My picture of her is not quite so perfect... but I was hungry. And impatient.)

Now... here I might lose some people, but I don't care. I like to enjoy my baconeggandcheese with a bit of ketchup for dipping. It's magical and I will hear no criticism of the practice. Well... I might hear it, but it won't bother me.

Here's something that might bother me though:


I bought this ready-for-the-microwave bacon the other day. It stays in the fridge and fairly easily cooks up in it's space packaging if you give it enough time. What's troubling is that it dispenses itself. Like a kleenex. Am I the only one who finds this really bizarre?? (o_O)

This post is dedicated to the late, great Patrick Swayze. (._.) He's like the wind through my trees.

Labor Day Turkey Burgers

What can go wrong when burger prep starts with these guys?!

I submit, nothing.

Since I had the day off for Labor Day, I took it fairly easy. I got up around 11 and established myself on the kitchen floor with the Golden Girls and my new IKEA dining room set. About 3 episodes later, I had a table, four chairs, a wire rack and a growing hunger that spicy Cheez-its didn't quite satisfy.

That was about when I decided that this Labor Day needed a burger.

I didn't get to making the burgers then, however. Nah... then I took a nap on my new sofa.

Around 5pm, I ventured outside the house to gather supplies for the best turkey burger on record. So cook along, friends. This burger isn't really hard and it's surprisingly rewarding. I promise that even beef-loving turkey burger skeptics will go all in for these.

Bacon Cheddar Jalapeno Turkey Burgers

1. Chop up the jalapenos from the opening shot there. How many you use is up to you. I used as many as I had because... well... I love them. That amounted to probably 1/2cup before the chop.


2. To those chopped jalapenos, add one chopped onion, a tablespoon of minced garlic, four chopped strips of cooked bacon, one egg, and a good handful of shredded cheddar cheese.

3. Add 1.3 lbs of ground turkey to the bowl, shake on some chili powder, and mix it all together. Form into patties (I got 5) and cook them on the grill or stove top. Stove top instructions I found online said 5 minutes per side for turkey burgers. I know I did longer than that... so just use your judgment: let them brown fully on one side before you flip them once.



4. And this next step is optional, but I recommend making a quick sauce for this burger. It provides a little wet and a little interest.


I combined ketchup and hot sauce until the ketchup was just a bit too spicy to be enjoyable. Then I added honey to taste. It made a good, sweetly spicy tomato sauce that balanced the bite of the burger.


And voila! The most brilliant turkey burger I've made thus far.

This burger is hot hot hot. Not too hot, but hot enough that it got my nose running a little bit. And I believe the bacon lends the bland turkey meat a bit more meat flavor, which is always nice. The cheese influence was subtle, so I might recommend using a grated cheese instead of a finely grated... but really there probably isn't a difference even then. :)

In conclusion, I offer two thumbs way up for this relatively healthy dinner!

And... since homegirl lives alone these days... I have 4 leftover burgers to eat for school lunches. Woohoo!

The Best Hot Dogs Ever (acc. to some)

And now for something really different...

This dish is not one that I would ever have thought I would post. I have nothing against meat, but it really isn't my favorite thing to cook. I consider myself a vegetable enthusiast. I love them. But we're not quite exclusive. So... wrapping one meat in another is not really my idea of a great time.

But... tonight... it's what the family wanted.

Without further ado, I present you the family recipe for what they call The Best Hot Dog Ever.

Step 1: Bake bacon on a broiler pan in a 400 degree oven for about 8 minutes. This will begin to cook the bacon but still keep it really soft for wrapping.


Step 2: While bacon is in the oven, cut a slit down the length of each hotdog and fill with cheddar cheese.


Step 3: Remove bacon from oven and blot on paper towels. (Ew.)


Step 4: Wrap each hot dog with one piece of bacon. Secure each end of each piece of bacon with a toothpick. Line hot dogs up on pan, cheese down.(don't these dogs look like they are tanning?)




Step 5: Wait forever for the oven light to go off to signal broiler readiness. Learn from sister about ten minutes later that oven indicator light does not ever go off when broiling. (oops) Broil hot dogs for about 7 minutes until the bacon looks crispy. Turn hot dogs over (this is why you want to start cheese down) and broil for about another 7 minutes.


Step 6: Remove from oven and blot on new paper towels.


And there you have it. A pile of cheese-filled, bacon-wrapped hot dogs. According to my family, The Best Hot Dogs Ever.

Oh, and it should be noted that even though I made an ew face the entire time I was assembling these disasters, I ate two of them. And they do taste pretty good.

Per the family's request, we had Ore Ida from-the-bag french fries with these dogs. Because I couldn't leave well enough alone, we also had roasted broccoli. :) [Vegetable! Enthusiasm!]