Measure Twice, Bake Once

So far, my Spring Break has been somewhat slow. I tried to make plans for myself on a fast train or an aeroplane, but nothing worked.

Alas, I'll just have to make the most of two weeks off in Maine.

What better to way to start relaxing than with a mega cupcake baking extravaganza?

(The answer should be obvious here.)

Tonight I was so excited about tomorrow's baking that I actually did cupcake prep.

I think I was heavily influenced by Hell's Kitchen last night. The girls won the challenge, so the boys had to do the girls' prep work for dinner service. Unsurprisingly, the boys "forgot" something. "Where's the tomato cream sauce?! WHERE'S THE TOMATO CREAM SAUCE?!"

If tomorrow I find I've sabotaged myself by "forgetting" an ingredient, I fully intend to yell at myself.

Anyway...

Prepping three very different batters was a challenge, but fun in a I-like-to-do-puzzles-and-fill-in-forms way.


Here you can see my craziness sorted out in neat fashion. Maple Bacon, Blueberry Almond Ricotta, and Fauxstess Cake ingredients all ready to go. I haven't measured out the perishables that should stay in the refrigerator overnight, but I think this setup will save me lots of time tomorrow.

Did I mention that I'm making halved and quartered recipes? Well... I am. These tiny recipes would make between 6 and 7.5 regular sized cupcakes, but since I'm feeding each classmate one of each cupcake, I'm making minis. Hopefully I can trust my fraction work.

Oh, and one last thing: I struggled to fry bacon. Who does that?


Apparently I do. Please notice the pile of rejected burnt bacon on the left there. Ugh.

On the bright side, I think that I bought myself enough time to be able to watch episode 2 of season 6 of The L Word before I go to bed tonight AND sleep until I wake up tomorrow.

Now that sounds like Spring Break.

Solo Shopping

I don't shop a lot.

At least that's what I tell myself. However, I am a big believer in retail therapy. Shopping cures all. And for me, it's really just the browsing that makes me happy.

Dressing rooms, believe it or not, also make me quite happy.

I do get a little crazy when I go shopping alone though. That's when I start spamming my sister with picture texts of the "Yes or No?" variety.

This afternoon I sent her a picture of me in this Tommy Hilfiger shirt ->



with the caption, "Look at this gorgeous shirt that I will not be spending $70 on."

I sent my roommate a picture of me in Calvin Klein jeans with the caption "Size 8 Calvin Klein jeans! I am now officially skinnier than Oprah!"



Any fans of 1988 Oprah? Just me? Okay...

In any case, my students would like me to tell you that the Little Red Wagon there is holding 67 lbs. of fat. It's a very educational and inspirational wagon of fat. Just believe me.

Meanwhile back in the dressing room...

I took a picture that I didn't end up sending anyone, so I'm going to talk it out with you.



Inside the dressing room at Macy's they had two signs (that's two inside my individual dressing room) assuring me that the "fitting rooms are monitored by same-gender security personnel."

Now let's just think about that a minute.

If the Macy's dressing rooms are monitored by "same-gender security personnel", then today those cameras were manned by a female who works towards a fierce, yet cute, androgyny with her daily appearance. Sure that her sex does not dictate her daily behavior, she plays tough on the job but obsessively bakes for friends. At turns awkward, deferential, feminist, confused, and girly, this security maven hangs with the guys and doesn't always answer her phone when it rings. And I bet that when she tries on clothes, she looks around (usually unsuccessfully) for the security camera.

I don't know, but I'd like to believe Macy's on this one. And... I'd like this similarly gendered girl's number.

Key Lime Cupcakes with a Twist

Big E's birthday is coming up and he had a pretty specific request for his birthday cupcakes. Two of Big E's favorites are Key Lime Pie and White Chocolate. So, why not combine them in one cupcake?

I started by making The Cake Mix Doctor's Key Lime Pie Cupcakes.


Don't you just love these junky shots? I guess I must, because I just can't stop taking and posting them. :)

I made these Key Lime Pie cupcakes once when I was in VA over winter break. They are, like all of the Doctor's cupcakes, easy to put together and wonderfully tasty.

After the cupcakes cooled, I injected the filling. I used the Pampered Chef icing tools my aunt gave me for my birthday.


I'd like you to tell me that the Bismarck tip on the Pampered Chef... thing... doesn't look like David the Gnome.

Don't worry. No one can.

Moving on...

I decided to incorporate the white chocolate into the cupcake by way of a nice thin layer on top of the cupcake under the meringue. I was worried that the filling would create a problem when it came to dipping the cupcake in the chocolate. I wouldn't worry so much about most fillings, but the filling in this cupcake is literally key lime pie filling and therefore very runny.

In an early morning epiphany, I decided to plug up the filling hole with a white chocolate chip. That way, I could dip without too much concern and I wouldn't be rocking the boat flavor-wise. Here's what the cupcakes looked like with filling and chip intact.


It worked pretty well. The chocolate didn't want to stick to the chip or the middle of the cupcake for that matter, but at least I didn't lose my filling into the white chocolate.


After I took this picture, I smoothed the chocolate with the back of a spoon, and no one will complain, I'm sure.

Finally, I finished out the Doctor's recipe with a coconut meringue and baked those suckers again.


And, I haven't tried one with the meringue, but I did some quality control testing after the white chocolate experiment.


That is one tasty cupcake. The key lime pie cupcake is super light and moist. The cupcake couldn't hold up under anything heavier than a meringue. A true icing would overpower it for sure. So, while the white chocolate is a nice touch, I'm looking forward to trying one with both the white chocolate and the coconut meringue.

That will have to wait until tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Big E!

Did I not mention my band?

So, I'd like to say that I don't do these things, but here we are.

I just led a two and a half hour graduate class, and I think that entitles me to some fun on the interweb.

Please enjoy my album cover:




And now please create your own.

The first article you get here is your band name.

The last 4 or 5 words of the very last quote here is your album title.

The third picture here is your cover art.

Now throw it together and post that sucker.

From experience, I can tell you that it's extremely rewarding.

Oh, and while I'm on the topic, I need a drummer. And a bass player. And a lead vocalist. And maybe another girl to sing with her who can play the guitar. So... I guess... just... a band.

Yeah.

Inquire within.

Dunkin' & Deceivin': The Third Tier

I don't have a picture, sadly, but today I stepped up the coffee game.

I walked right in and asked the Dunkin' Donuts girl to fill my Starbucks coffee mug. Our conversation was... expectedly awkward.

Me: "Hi, can I have a coffee with skim milk and sugar?"

Her: "What size?"

Me: "Can I get it in this mug?"

Her: "Oh. Okay."

At this point she fumbled the lid and kind of shot it across the counter. Next time I'll make it easy on them and handle the lid myself. Beginner's mistake.

Her: "Starbucks, ay?"

Me: "Yeah. Your coffee is better."

Her: "Oh. I don't like coffee."

Me: "Fair enough."

We then had a short reprieve while she poured the coffee. Our conversation resumed while we waited for the cash register to do its thing.

Her: "So, do they like write your order on here and then wipe it off?"

Me: "Honestly, I've never used the mug at a Starbucks."

Her: "Oh."

The cash register drawer opened up at this point and the girl slammed it shut again with her hip.

Her: "Have a good day."

Me: "Thanks, you too!"

That conversation will go down as one of my favorite Maine interactions. Nothing particularly Maine about it except, well, everything.

Here's the coffee kicker though. My roommate wasn't in the mood for the Starbucks atmosphere today, so I drank Dunkin' Donuts coffee from a Starbucks mug while sitting in the Border's cafe.

Oscar Workout

I love television, but who doesn't feel like sitting through the Oscars or similar awards shows is a waste of time? Sure... it feels like the right thing to do at the time, but then everyone is winning and you don't know who they are or what their movie was about and you just start attacking yourself: "Why didn't I see Slumdog Millionaire?!"

In order to make our Oscar viewing more rewarding, my roommate and I have made a sport of it. Literally.

Tonight we will be Oscarcising.

It's like a drinking game but with exercise instead of alcohol.

So join the fun! Here is our list of common award show occurrences and the exercises we will perform when we see them.


Movie wins Oscar that neither of us have seen -- 2 pushups (Be nice. We haven't seen any movies and our arm strength is so-so.)

Obama invoked in acceptance speech -- 10 chair dips

Financial crisis referenced -- 1 bridge (to the future)

Winner thanks God -- 30 seconds of the pilates V thing

Maldrobe Warfunction (This is how I literally screamed it to my roommate when we were generating our list. I'm just keepin' it real.) -- jump rope

Host or presenter tells joke that falls flat -- side henge (as found in FITNESS)

Misguided actor, writer, etc. on stage who didn't bother to shave for the event -- 20 jumping jacks

Teleprompter failures -- Sumo twist (also from FITNESS)

Anyone on stage walks the wrong direction after giving their schpeal -- 10 lunges

Music played to end a speech -- 30 second plank pose

Butt bow, ruffle, or other adornment -- Jillian Michael's butt move (I saw it on Rachael Ray... It's hard to explain.)

Winner thanks "Beautiful Wife" or "Wonderful Husband" -- partner ab twist with kettlebell

Winner gives acceptance speech with heavy foreign accent -- facial yoga (hell ya!)

Joke made about celeb followed by a close-up of that celeb looking awkward -- plank rotation

Absent nominee/winner -- run out of the livingroom, up and down both flights of indoor stairs, and back into the livingroom for next move

And... here's the kicker... if anything catastrophic happens during the Oscars (think big: lights falling, someone glamorous falling down the steps, another Adrian Brody kiss, etc.) then we both have to attend one of the more embarrassing classes at the Rec Center this week. My scary class is the Boot Camp one. My roommate lives in fear of aerobics, go figure.

I should also mention that commercials are going to be used for hydration, stretching, relaxation, and so forth.


So that's it! Simple, right?

Okay, I'm going to go move some furniture in preparation for the big event.

I'll let you know how long my roommate and I last. :)

Update: I beasted the Oscars and oscarcised the entire three and a half hour program. The workout was intense in bursts but tons of fun. I gave myself 7 stars on the H4H calendar. Success!

Paulerella (Baking Mashup!)

As some of you know, my cupcake obsession recently bled over into my coursework. As an English lit grad student, that is a pretty sweet accomplishment. (No pun intended, but now that it's there... I like it.)

For my Education Literacy course on the writing process in schools, I am putting together a multigenre project on the cupcake.

I've written some fun things and I'm working on a baking soundtrack too. Perhaps I'll blog more of the project over the next couple of weeks.

Anyway...

I decided that just baking a recipe that I found online would be boring and... well... what I do all the time.

So, this weekend I tried out my first cupcake baking mashup. Since I tried Bakerella's cake truffles last weekend, I've been dying to make them again with a new cake flavor.

I debated the merits of both Paula Deen's Arnold Palmer cupcakes and Simply Recipe's Carrot Cake.

I made the Paula Deen cupcakes before and, in all honesty, I didn't really care for them. But... since I made them in August of 08, I've considered them the cupcakes that got away. They somehow got the best of me. By the way, an Arnold Palmer is a drink made of equal parts tea and lemonade. The cupcake is made much the same way.

The Carrot Cake just looks fantastic, but I haven't tried the recipe. Or anything from the Simply Recipes site, actually.

I was still trying to make up my mind on Friday when I pulled this card from my mom out of the mailbox.


Please note two things:
1. My eye color. Nice, right? I'm going to wear hot pink and purple from now on.
2. The writing on the card: "Wanna let's do it?!"

For those of you who don't know Paula Deen like I do, Paula asked her guest "You wanna let's do it?!" in reference to a giant slice of lasagna sandwiched between pieces of garlic bread. It was an epic sandwich that required both Paula and her guest to unhinge their respective jaws.

That is my "You wanna let's do it?!" face, of course.

Understandably, that envelope sealed the deal for me. It was almost like seeing Jesus in my toast or something.

My first mashup had to be Paula Deen's Arnold Palmer cake & icing made into Bakerella's cake truffles.

Here's how it went down.

On Friday, I baked the cupcakes according to Paula's recipe. I halved the recipe since I'm not feeding an army. And I used blackcurrant black tea since it was the only black tea I had in the house.


I then walked away from the adorable cupcakes and didn't think about them again until Saturday morning.

As I decided what to do with my day, I absentmindedly crumbled cake. I highly recommend this practice. It's quite soothing.


Then I walked away from the crumbled cake. I had to (had to) grade 9 student papers before I allowed myself to truffle the cake.

Around 8:30pm, with Hitch on in the background, I whipped up Paula's Arnold Palmer frosting.



Now this was the exact moment at which I remembered why these cupcakes sucked and would most likely suck this time too.

EVERYTHING PAULA MAKES TASTES LIKE BUTTER!!!!

This might not be true, but this Arnold Palmer icing does taste like butter. Ugh. Oh well. I added some extra powdered sugar and a dash of vanilla for good measure. That helped a little.

If you'll remember, my last cake truffles were a touch strong with the icing. This time I was much more careful and I only added the icing to the cake until the mixture was sticky enough to hold together.


See?

Next, I hand rolled the balls. Right, truffles. I'm trying not to call them "balls" for all the obvious reasons.


Can you spot the knot?

After I chilled the cake and icing mixture in the freezer for about an hour, I then dipped them in Candy Melts.


Since this was my first time working with Candy Melts, there was some trial and error for sure.

What works? you might ask. I'll tell you: a hot water bath.


It took a while to dip and roll all those truffles, but the hot water bath kept the melts from solidifying and making me want to use my words.

Here are the troops all lined up.


I didn't plan it, but I like the way the orchid melts complement the blackcurrant undertones in the cake truffle. The orchid melts are vanilla, but color has a lot to do with taste. Or maybe I just made that up.

Finally rolled, set and ready to go, here is the money shot.


That is one fine looking BlackCurrant Arnold Palmer Cake Truffle.

Even though my ideal truffle is covered in semi-sweet chocolate, I think I can call the Paulerella mashup a success. The blackcurrant tea and lemon are unexpected cake flavors that I believe are improved by the sweetness of the candy coating.

Also... while we're on the topic, I'm planning to take three mini cupcakes to my classmates as one of my genre projects. I am planning to make a bacon cupcake (I know... I've been avoiding these hardcore) and a blueberry ricotta cupcake. I'm thinking that my third needs to be overtly dessert-like. So far that means chocolate to me, but what do you think? What would go well with these two?