is this thing on?

On Resolutions (v. 2012)

2012-01-03T22:17:00.003-05:00

Last year I made the first resolution proper of my adult life. You can find it detailed here.

I was pretty sure of my resolution. Not that I was excited about it so much as I knew I needed it. I knew it was the best thing I could do for myself with 365 days. So, just in case you don’t feel the need to read up on last year’s resolution (even if you did, it’s lengthy), let’s sum it up:

In 2011 I wanted to…
1. Be single and fabulous.
2. Be in the best shape of my life.
3. Find the perfect white gold earrings.
4. Clean the kitchen before bed.
5. Cover firewood before it starts raining.
6. Wear my favorite underwear on a Tuesday.

Now, let’s go through these quickly with the results added, shall we?

1. Be single and fabulous. Oops. One of two isn’t bad. Is it?
~~2. Be in the best shape of my life.~~ DONE! Thanks, Tony Horton!
~~3. Find the perfect white gold earrings.~~ Done: Turns out I needed to only mention this one to my mom before going home for Christmas. She considered it her personal mission. Thanks, Mom!
4. Clean the kitchen before bed. I'm going to need you to be more specific about which night.
5. Cover firewood before it starts raining. Definitely not. Same firewood is still outside. Probably wet right now.
~~6. Wear my favorite underwear on a Tuesday.~~ Done: Check posting date.

So… looking at my year in review, I don’t think I did too poorly. Progress not perfection; isn’t that the saying?

I keep my kitchen clean for the most part; I choose my underwear based on whatever-the-hell-I-want; I’m in damn good shape (Shut up, knee!); and I sport earrings that my tender lobes aren’t allergic to. So what if my firewood is soaked?

And as far as the big, bad resolution that grounded all of these minor resolutions… I think I did alright by that one too. I set out to be single and fabulous and that didn’t quite work.

I didn’t turn down dates and I let myself get attached. A couple of times. But I also listened to myself. My heart, yes, sure. But more importantly, I listened to myself. The part of me that thinks a few steps ahead. The part of me that knows who I am and what I want. The part of me that sees myself and everyone around me as flawed beings. The realist who remains a reluctant, yet hopeless romantic. And, because I listened to myself, I was able to navigate more than a few relationships in 2011. Some of them romantic, most of them platonic.

Now, just a few days into 2012, I can boast possibly the best relationships I’ve ever had with my family. Built on honesty, trust, love, and so much laughter, our bonds haven’t ever been so strong.

I can tell you all about dear friends who’ve opened up their homes and their lives to me and my craziness, becoming chosen family. Give me a minute and I’ll pull out baby pictures and tell you about recent milestones with more pride than I thought possible for me to feel about someone else's child.

I can tell you about my career and how having confidence in myself has allowed me to reach students in ways I hadn’t before.

Thanks to my willingness to engage, to feel, to try, and to communicate, I can tell you about my boyfriend. About the woman who is everything I wanted but didn’t know I could have.

When I found last year’s resolution post accidentally tonight I thought, “Ha! Didn’t keep any of those!” But that’s not true at all, is it? I may not be single, and I guess some might consider that the main event of the resolution… but I sure don’t. What I read in last year’s resolution post is a desire for confidence, independence, and happiness.

Have I achieved those things? Certainly. In ways, at least. I’ll not pretend that I’m perfectly confident, independent, and happy all days and in all ways. But… I’ve come a long way.

It’s now less about what comes at me and more about what I give out. Shoot. Maybe I’m growing up.

Anyway… my resolution for 2012 is similar to 2011’s with one adjustment.

In 2012 I want to be healthy and fabulous.

This means… seeing about getting this damn knee fixed.

Keep me honest, friends. I’m already dreading the appointment. That I have yet to make.

This Weekend I...

2011-11-13T20:20:00.006-05:00

Videochatted. A lot.

I had coffee on my friends' porch. I introduced my sister to some friends and her boyfriend to mine. I learned that my great grandfather was a lifeguard with Ronald Reagan. I watched my boyfriend cut the dickens out of her finger (see bandaid in above picture).

It all made for a lovely Saturday.

Did Ab Ripper X.

And the 10 Minute Trainer Ab workout. Back to back. I needed the stress relief or, as my friend Kaitlin would say, the medicinal benefits of exercise. It worked, to an extent. And... just now I sneezed and felt the confirmation of all that hard work.

Graded.

16 papers today. And 16 papers every day through Thursday to finish them up. I can do that, right?

Made (and ate) this sammich.

Peanut butter, bacon, green apple, honey. Mmph.

And now I'm going to watch TV and work on my Thanksgiving week menu. Get excited! I'll share some of it with you, if you're good.

How were your weekends, peaches?

The post and my very tender thoughts on it.

2011-11-09T09:49:00.006-05:00

Last night I was caught off guard by this commercial:

I went from happily sipping whiskey and watching Chopped to the wanting to curl up under a quilt and cry.

This little thirty second ad said only one thing to me: The Post is in danger.

Now... you might have seen me around on the internet. I spend a lot of time there. Facebook, twitter, tumblr, this blog, your inbox, your mom's inbox. I get around online. I'm not ashamed of it. I've met friends, enemies, girlfriends, experts, celebrities, and probably your mom online that I likely would not ever have bumped into in any other way. The internet is my medium. I get it. I use it.

But. It's not the post.

The post is dreamy and romantic and personal and requires effort.

I can sit in my office and write you an email that says, "I'm thinking about you today."

You'll get the email in seconds. You'll smile, maybe, then it's done.

If I, on the other hand, write the very same message, "I'm thinking about you today." in a card or on a piece of stationery, seal it in an envelope, hunt down your address and a stamp, drive the whole lot to the post office (because my apartment pick-up is unreliable), and send it off in your direction, then you'll receive it in a very different way.

You'll get my card, open it, and know that for at least a bit of one day, I was thinking only about you and the piece of mail that would literally travel from my hands to yours. And then for weeks when you see it on your fridge or maybe a year later when it shows up in a junk drawer, you'll know that I was thinking about you then and just might be thinking about you again.

And... if the piece of mail is from me... then you might be able to tell that instead of spending minutes on your mail, I actually spent hours. Gluing paper, revising wording, baking treats, compiling songs, what have you.

Whatever the case... mailing something to someone means a lot more to me than sending them a text, a message on Facebook, a tweet. Those are daily. Those are tired.

The post. The post is where it's at.

It's no secret that this love of the post was passed down to me by my mom. My mom sends me roughly one card per week. Some weeks there's more than one. Some weeks (very rare) there isn't one at all.

Her cards range from the sincere to the bizarre.

Some of my favorites include the congratulations on my ballet recital and the mazel tov on my son's bris. Also the "Love being your sister" and the countless "Happy Birthday"s covered up with hearts and flowers and swirlies.

The common thread woven through these often silly cards is the fact the my mom loves me and that she thinks about me in a deliberate, focused way at least once a week.

Even so... I'm not the only person who benefits from my mom's postal expressions of love.

My brother, sister, boyfriend, and even some friends benefit from the occasional card. She recently sent one to a close friend of mine that featured a hotdog on the front and the inscription, "Bet you didn't think you'd get a wiener today!"

Don't you wish you were on her list now?

What I'm saying is... I love the post. Always have.

As a kid, I thought having a British pen pal was the best thing I could ever want out of life. As an adult, I've only slightly revised that idea.

My mom fuels my love for the post through her regular mailings. And I do my best to send notes and packages around as often as possible.

The thought that the USPS might be in such dire straights that they need to convince us to use paper in a world that begs us to go paperless is upsetting.

I've long thought of the post as the government's polite, "I'm going that way, would you like me to take that?" and I'd hate to see it waste away.

So... today I'm going to write letters. And buy stamps. And drop mail into the box knowing full well it will reach its destination and make one person feel good. Or better. Or something. Because that's what I do with the power of the post.

What do you mail?

Halloween Regrets

2011-11-07T13:41:00.003-05:00

I didn't do anything for Halloween this year.

Really. Not a damn thing. I sat at home. I might have even had cereal for dinner; I don't remember.

This, for me, has been difficult. I love the hell out of Halloween. Usually I spend several months planning and perfecting my costume.

Since I didn't have the excitement of planning and executing the perfect costume for the day, I've had a hard time letting go of the costumes I'd considered. So... I'm blogging them in an attempt to set them aflame and push them out to see.

A Viking funeral for the costumes that didn't happen.

Now... this year I also have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is more than willing to play along with my costume excitement. You'll see that reflected in my choices. Let's start with the classics...

JFK and Marilyn Monroe:

I could be his Jackie, sure. But... I'm more Marilyn, dontcha think?

Johnny Cash and June Carter:

But only if I can carry around a dulcimer and tell all our friends we can't stay long because he's goin' to Jackson.

Now... a quick jump to...

Joan and Roger:

Any day. Any time. As long as I get to smirk, speak softly, and walk around the office like I own the damn place. Because... I do.

Which leads us to our topical couples...

Prince William and Kate Middleton:

Quick! While people will still recognize us!

DaveCat and Sidore:

Clear winner. Hands down. Amirite?!

Incidentally, "hands down" refers both to the DaveCat/Sidore win and the pose I'll be assuming for the entirety of the evening: Hands down, eyes blank, mouth slightly open. I've been practicing. It's spectacular.

So... I think this has helped.

I'll let these costumes go for this year. Knowing full well that I've catalogued them here and can revisit next October.

Who would you be if Halloween were this week and you had all the money and time to costume?

Crimson Tide Cupcakes

2011-11-05T12:48:00.005-04:00

Today is the big Alabama/LSU game. ROLL TIDE!

I doubt you're surprised about the game, it's kind of a big deal. But you may be surprised to see me blogging about it.

I'm a little surprised myself. Just weeks ago I uttered this sentence: "What's a Bear Bryant?"

And look at me today.

Crimson velvet cake with cream cheese icing.

And that, there on the left, is my attempt at Bear Bryant's iconic houndstooth hat. Use your imaginations, please. Houndstooth is not an easy pattern to reproduce. Tiny. On gum paste.

What I'm saying is, I've come a long way. I know who Bear Bryant is. I know which way they run on the football field. On a good day, I can even explain downs to you.

But... I'm still me. Take a look at this:

Uh huh.

I prefer to think that instead of being runny, my icing is just being spirited. Roll icing, roll.

Who's watching with me tonight?

Stuff _____ Likes (An exercise in revision)

2011-11-04T10:03:00.000-04:00

1. Prince
2. Cookbooks
3. Quilts
4. Texting
5. Fancy Drinks
6. Flintstones vitamins
7. Crafts
8. Sleeping

* * * * *

I... found this post, titled "Stuff ______ Likes," as a draft that I began August 1, 2009. It contained only this list of 8 things that I, at the time, liked.

And, while I do still like some of these things, I don't know that they would be the 8 things I would list when asked what I like. Let's revise, shall we?

~~1. Prince~~ It's not that I don't like Prince. It's just. That. I like a lot of people like I like Prince.
2. Cookbooks These stay. I read them like novels.
~~3. Quilts~~ They're fine. And sometimes great. But sometimes real freaky. Like when they're pilly. With... banish the thought... someone else's pills. Ew. I don't like those to touch my skin.
4. Texting Keeping this. Because, let's be honest. I don't function (as well) without it.
5. Fancy Drinks I'm a whiskey on the rocks girl. So, if that's fancy, then sure.
~~6. Flintstones vitamins~~ Fell out of like. Only munch them occasionally these days, out of obligation and because I bought my last bottle at Sam's. They'll last forever.
7. Crafts Will. Always. Love.
8. Sleeping Same. C'mon.

So... I'm now left with

1. Cookbooks

2. Texting

3. Whiskey

4. Crafts

5. Sleeping

To which I'll add...

6. Teaching

7. Costumes

8. Cuddly toys (to include babies and round animals)

9. The Internets

(Webcam pumpkin-carving double date with my parents. Obvs.)

Now this is a list of stuff Amanda likes.

Pumpkin Ginger Pecan Cheesecake

2011-11-03T16:00:00.000-04:00

Warning: This picture is old.

I say that not because it changes the greatness of this cheesecake. I say that because I don't want you all showing up on my doorstep, demanding pumpkin ginger pecan cheesecake.

Because... you guys... it's really that delicious.

For Thanksgiving two years ago (like I said... old), I wanted to do something traditional... but more exciting. So, instead of a good ol' pumpkin pie, I started researching pumpkin cheesecakes. It had to have been done, right?

And, boy, had it.

I ended up combining the filling from Sweetest Kitchen's Pumpkin Walnut Cheesecake and my own crust of ginger snaps, chopped pecans, sugar, and melted butter.

I riffed Sweetest Kitchen's crumble topping by swapping out the walnuts for my tiny pecans.

Trust me: it was all perfect. Perfect creamy pumpkin sandwiched between rich ginger snaps and sweet, mapley pecans.

Make. It. Tomorrow.

Or for Thanksgiving. Your choice.

Queer Query: E's Root

2011-11-02T21:17:00.005-04:00

So... I may have mentioned my boyfriend. Maybe. Once. Or something.

Whatever, she's fun.

Anyway... E is guest blogging tonight about her root. So... without further ado... I'll let her get to it.

My Root

As you can see, I was clearly born this way, so it’s hard to point out one early root to my extreme gayness. There were a few clues, however, such as the ways I related to popular Nickelodeon shows, including but not limited to:

• Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts: Both shows featured tough lady characters with gender neutral names: Brad, Venus, etc., and involved cowboy garb and cargo shorts.

• Clarissa Explains It All: I desperately wanted to be Clarissa’s neighbor friend Sam. I wanted his haircut, and I wanted his flannel. Most of all, I wanted his constant access to a pretty lady’s bedroom.

• All That: As many of our people do, I’ve always appreciated a variety show. In true lesbian fashion, my favorite sketch featured the deadpan Lori Beth Denberg offering sarcastic Vital Information (For Your Everyday Life). Early love of snarky women…check.

• Doug: I still dream of a closet in which I have 20 sets of exactly the same outfit.

• Nick News: This show helped spark my adult love of current events, and Linda Ellerbee is one bossy bitch. Her wide-shouldered blazers had an early impact on my sense of fashion.

Queer Query: My Root

2011-11-02T19:44:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I posed this queer query:

What is one early memory worth sharing that makes you nod your head and say, “Yep. I was born this way?” What is your queer root?

The root of my particular queerness can be traced right back to… Beauty and the Beast.

The Disney movie.

Just think about it:

A nerdy girl who wants more than this provincial life runs off into the woods to rescue her hapless father from certain death at the hands of a legit beast. In order to free her caged father, she must live in the castle and dress up for the beast who’s taken a liking to her. She dutifully puts in time both batting her lashes and scolding this helpless brute, until one night he gets in a fight with another suitor, ascends to the heavens, acquires spirit finger jazz hands, and falls back to earth as the most beautifully effeminate dandy.

In other words, Belle meets someone. Moves in far too soon. Watches her life partner fend off another butch and marries the fairy when the dust settles.

I don’t know how I didn’t see it all along.

I mean. C’mon.

Super gay.

No wonder I ran home from school most days to watch it.

Other "My Root" posts from my friends:
Bren from Buzzcuts and Bustiers
G from Can I Help You, Sir?
Bee at Patriarchy Party Crasher
Timidvenus at Beautiful Suffering
Let me know when you write about your root! I want to read. : )

A Queer Query

2011-11-01T15:30:00.003-04:00

Last night I went to sleep debating the possibility of participating in NaNoWriMo this month. Do I have time? Am I interested in writing a novel? Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus wrote autobiographies, so I’m old enough to write a memoir… right?

This morning my usual social network review turned up this post in which Bee determines to blog more in November.

Well.

Now.

That I could get into: regular posting, a return to a simpler, more prolific time. And, unlike NaNoWriMo, no one would be holding me to word counts. (Oh heeeeey, 50,000 words!)

I excitedly tweeted Bee to let her know I might steal her idea and the whole thing snowballed from there. Folks joining in, sharing ideas, and generally getting excited about writing. There was talk of writing prompts, blog community, and even media moguls… all of it queer.

Do I need to tell you what all of this did for this queer writing teacher’s heart? DO I?!

So… here I am. Writing the first post of my November attempt to blog more. Regularly.

And in this post, I’m going to set up the first prompt for our little queer blogger community. There are no rules, restrictions, or binaries; just respond to the prompt if you want to. I’ll probably come back later tonight to respond to the prompt myself. Here goes nothing!

What is your root?

I’m sure many of us have seen But I’m a Cheerleader. And many of us have joked about our “roots.” If you haven’t seen it, or you’d just like the refresher, enjoy:

Now, we all know that none of these things made our beloved characters gay. Graham’s mom’s wedding pants didn’t force her into lady love.

But.

It’s pretty damn funny to, as a grown ass lesbian, look back on my childhood and point out the queer bits that I didn’t notice at the time. I’d love to tell you about one of my queer roots and read about yours too.

What is one early memory that makes you nod your head and say, “Yep. I was born this way?” Tell us about your root.

Annnnd... Here’s a sneak preview for my root, if you’re interested:

Now... go forth and blog, my friends! About this prompt or about anything your hearts desire! If you do respond to the prompt though, let me know! Send me the link in the comments or on twitter. I want to read!

Thank you all for helping me get back on track with the blog world. : )

Perfect Costume for Today

2011-09-23T14:24:00.000-04:00

Do you ever just happen upon the absolute most perfect thing to wear for a particular day?

I don't mean the big events that we plan for and stress over, I mean the day to day.

Because every day requires a costume, I hope you know. Observe:

See? Little Edie knows.

Well, last night I stayed up late. And this morning I snoozed the alarm a few times.

So by the time I found myself standing in my closet doing the debate thing, I was feeling uninspired and very any-old-thing-will-do.

But instead of tossing on any old thing, I reached for a particular old thing. Specifically, this mod-inspired dress I bought at the Goodwill for $3.99 this week.

I chose this dress because it was 1) hanging in the closet doorway, fresh from being laundered and 2) fairly wrinkle free. Perfect: I wouldn't have to go to great lengths to either find it or iron it.

Once I had my major piece picked out, I zsouzsed: sheer black cardigan, black leggings, and my grandmother's blue bead necklace.

Out the door I went. Looking something like this:

When I got to class and set up my projector, I realized that there was going to be an issue. The projector was set up to work with the screen... not the whiteboard. That's fine... I can deal with off kilter framing, I thought.

What I did not realize was that mid-class, I'd discover that I am woefully short and cannot write in the little tippy top space I'd allowed myself.

I looked at my students, I looked at the board. I looked at my students, I looked at my outfit. Then, while still listening my students, I pulled a chair from behind an empty desk, climbed atop it, and continued to take notes on their purposes for attending college.

My only hope is that one of their purposes for attending college is to have one really quirky instructor in their first semester. Because thanks to a Goodwill dress and some trusty ol' leggings, I was wearing the perfect costume for jumping up on a chair and teaching as if I am not a miniature human being.

DVD Bonus: I did not (by the grace of God) fall off the chair on any of my 8 trips onto it. I did, however, forget that it was behind me and run slam into it while on flat ground. Might have done a "Did she trip? No, she's jogging. No... she stopped. She tripped! You tripped!" Ellen move.

A Tweet Deferred...

2011-09-21T07:56:00.009-04:00

"What happens to a [tweet] deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?"

- bastardization of a Langston Hughes line

Some days I think in tweets. A lot of them.

And some days, I tweet all of them. Just throw them out there and say, "there you have it."

Other days (most days), I pick and choose. I tweet some. I send some to friends. I consider others and let them go.

But today... TODAY, kittens.

Ima compile them right here. For you.

Let's get started. In no particular order...

TWO DAYS AND A WAKE-UP.

There will be baking this afternoon. I have spoken; all depart.

I might have put brown sugar in my coffee this morning. Mama's walkin' on the wild side!

I've been happily singing Gasoline & Matches for the past two days. You're welcome, huddled masses. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCT17rUr_Jo #babybabybabybaby

Me: "What are some concepts, theories, principles associated with college?" Student: "Don't get caught." #touche

I wouldn't let myself bake earlier this week, so the pent up baking need is STRONG. This could get messy. (cc: @TheKateSullivan)

Things I want to do: blog, bake, nap. Things I need to do: emails, class prep, workout. If I get 4 out of 6, I'll be ecstatic.

Dear God: I'd like clouds all day while I teach (shades up, projector on, FTW) and a thunderstorm when I arrive home. Thanks in advance, Amanda

TWO DAYS AND A WAKE-UP.

Yeah. See? A smathering.

I assure you, my head is a fun place to see from the inside.

But... I really should get back to it.

(And by "it" I mean work and actually tweeting.)

Comfort Food: Three Ways

2011-09-12T09:56:00.006-04:00

because sometimes one is just not going to cut it.

Who has these days? The days when everything is slightly off and nothing is easy? When you have a doctor's appointment and your car breaks down before you get the chance to buy groceries? And the baby's fussy and those pants are getting tight? And that student keeps emailing about that one thing and Netflix keeps pausing to "retrieve" something or other?

No one?

Just me?

Well, now I know you're lying. Because those things happened to me, my boyfriend, me, my BFF, me, me, and everyone who uses Netflix. This week. In that order.

So let's take comfort in food, shall we?

It's the right thing to do.

Let's start with the good ol' American brown bag staple.

The PB & J. Peanut butter and strawberry jam, in this case.

Our first way is simple.

PB & J, sliced on the diagonal (requirement), in a ziploc bag (requirement).

The unrequired elements of overenthusiastic, early morning posing will no doubt provide some level of comfort. But warm up to this advanced placement, day improving activity, please. I don't want you to pull something.

Our second PB & J manipulation came to me direct from the boyfriend.

Well. The idea did. I wish she made it for me, but I had to handle this one myself.

Anyway... enough of that. Grilled PB & J!

It's as easy as it is delicious. Take any ol' PB & J sandwich, butter the outside pieces of bread, and toss that thing into a frying pan or onto your panini grill (my choice).

The bread gets buttery toasty like a grilled cheese and the peanut butter and jam get warm and omgamazing.

Try it tonight with a glass of milk as a late night snack and you will not be disappointed. The comfort will be overwhelming.

Finally, our third PB & J is...

can you guess?

PB & J French toast. : )

Shock and awe, right? Okay... the shock I'll let go. But the awe you should keep. Because it's really, really tasty.

And just like our other manips, super easy to do: Take a PB & J sandwich, soak it (one side at a time) in an egg, milk, vanilla mixture, brown it on both sides in a frying pan, and bake it until it puffs up and is firm to the touch.

Pair it as you would any other sweet, filled french toast. I chose scrambled eggs with some serious hot sauce. And syrup. Because I like it. And butter. Because how would one compose a picture of french toast without a pat of butter?

Mmmm... Are you feeling comforted yet?

In all honesty, I am. These PB & Js might have been made over a week ago, at different occasions, but... just writing about them has calmed down a bit.

So... let me take my small bit of comfort and go back to my busy day. And just maybe, when it's all over, I'll comfort myself with something other than food. Or... maybe not. : )

I'm curious. What's your comfort food of choice?

Cupcakes by Post

2011-09-07T15:32:00.000-04:00

Oh heyyy!

Didn't see you there, goodlookin'.

Guess I was too busy being fabulous and domestic. In costume. Because you know I love one.

So... here's the thing. I've not been blogging very much of late. You've gotten about a video a month, which is nice, but that's not enough. I'd like to make the "I'll do better" promise, but I don't want to make promises I may or may not keep.

What ~can~ I do though? I can dress up in a fancy costume and do the damn thing right for you kiddos.

Let's get to it, shall we?

I baked you something. In mason jars. Because I wanted to mail it.

I wanted to mail cupcakes and I'd heard that sending cupcakes in mason jars keeps them fresh and unsquished for travel. I found many blogs that advocated baking the cupcakes sans liners and stuffing one or two into mason jars with icing. Buuut... I didn't want to do the baking and stuffing... I just wanted to do the baking.

With a twist. With a cookie on the bottom.

And that's exactly what I did.

I started by making up a batch of snickerdoodle cookie dough and dropping one small ball of dough (probably a rounded tablespoon size) into each of the greased mason jars.

Then I used my clean fingers to smoosh the dough ball out flat(ish).

Next... I made up a batch of gingerbread pear cake and poured a heaping 1/4 cup of batter on top of each of the cookies. (Not pictured... I'm not used to blogging anymore, apparently.)

The jars went into a 350 degree oven for a hot minute. Well... it was hot... but actually quite a lot of minutes. I just kept checking them until they were done. I'd say about 20 minutes, but don't trust me on that; I'd hate to burn your cuppycakes.

And voila... the hard work was done. Because the glass was in the oven too, the whole situation took longer to cool than normal paper liner cupcakes. It makes sense... but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

When the cookie-bottomed cupcakes were finally cool, I made up a lemon cream cheese buttercream and iced those suckers.

I spent some time crafting and these cuties were ready to go. Literally... ready to travel.

So how'd they turn out?

Well. My test group gave the mason jar, cookie-bottomed cupcakes rave reviews. They appreciated the spiciness of the gingerbread pear cake and the sweetness of the snickerdoodle base. The cream cheese icing was carefully made for my audience (a special one who likes cake more than icing) to be more creamy and refreshing than sugary and tooth-achey. The test group thought that was a good choice.

How did they travel?

BEAUTIFULLY.

First of all, they do this:

Cupcakes. With cookie bottoms. In mason jars. Going for a trip in the car.

Second, they passed the Blizzard test. Worried about how they'd fair in transit, I flipped one over on my counter for a couple of days.

I took this picture on Day 2. (Lighting be damned! Hopefully you can tell that neither the icing or the cake have budged.)

Finally, they mail well too. I packed them with care in a box full of newspaper and covered in brown paper and packing tape. They turned up without a scratch and no worse for the wear.

And just to see what I was subjecting my recipient to, I didn't eat my cupcake until she got hers.

And... omg, it was amazing.

Pictured above is one perfect bite. Snickerdoodle bottom (a cookie/cake hybrid thanks to the moisture of the cake batter that seals it off before baking), gingerbread pear cake (UM. Yes.), and light lemon cream cheese icing.

The whole experience - start to finish - was lovely. My taste-testers, my long distance recipient, and I all agreed the combination was delicious. The mason jars provided security, interest, and southern charm. And I managed to sneak back into my little ol' blog with a BANG.

I'm okay with all of this.

Until next time, dears.

Do be good.

Kitchen Dancing: Better with Two

2011-08-28T19:33:00.007-04:00

Hello, blogfriends. If there are... in fact... any of you left.

I haven't been blogging of late because I've been far too busy, well, not blogging. But! You probably arrived here from Facebook or Twitter and just want to see the latest kitchen dancing video.

So here it is, lads and lassies. Me, dancing in the kitchen, with (and here's the good bit) my new favorite dance partner.

Just... drink in the fabulosity.

Now, I'll leave you all with one question: why, if you have a webcam, are you not making videos of yourself dancing in your kitchen?

Right. No reason not to.

So, go do it and come back when you have a link for me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to search for kitchen dancing videos on YouTube.

Bedhead Breakfast

2011-07-16T13:52:00.003-04:00

Morning deliciousness.

Both on my head and on my plate.

P.S. How does YouTube decide what screenshot gets to be on the play screen? Because... seriously.

Video Post: My Workout Buddy

2011-06-07T20:02:00.003-04:00

Oh heyyy...

So, here's the thing. In this last phase of P90x, I've picked up a workout partner!

Annnnnd... today we made this video to introduce him. Enjoy, loves!

P90x angst and how I got over it

2011-05-09T23:30:00.002-04:00

The video explains it all... so I will let it.

If you need a reason to watch the video... I do an exercise demonstration.

Don't say I don't love you.

Because I do love you, each and every one.

Alright... I'm off to chillax. It is, after all, exam week.

P.S. Exam week is pretty boss for teachers who plan ahead. : )

P90x: Phase 2 Pics

2011-04-29T22:56:00.005-04:00

Soo... I finished Phase 2 and dutifully took my 60 day pictures.

Here ya go, friends.

I still have no idea what kind of face to make when flexing.

So why not just turn away from the camera, hm?

And... I might have tried out a Dreya Webber pose from the P90x booklet...

And... then I might have made it my own.

Finally, I struggled mightily take a picture of "X Time" for you guys.

More on that later... : )

How I know P90x was made by men for men...

2011-04-28T21:38:00.004-04:00

No one with breasts would ever schedule (or consent to) jump training the day after Chest & Back.

No one.

With breasts.

Trust me and mine.

And the beat goes on...

2011-04-28T13:44:00.004-04:00

Breakfast continues to be the best part of my day.

It's safe to say that it's my most meaningful relationship.

When Facebook wizens up and respects that all love is love, I'm going to declare proudly that I'm "in a relationship with breakfast."

Until then, I'll spam you all with pictures of my lover.

It's only normal, right?

Video Post: P90x Gag Reel

2011-04-18T21:32:00.002-04:00

So... last night I finished Phase 2 and decided to make a quick video to highlight some things.

And... it was past midnight. And... I talked a bit more than I meant to.

I figured I'd walk away from the video(s). Yes, there were two.

But... then I watched the videos today and I decided that the only worthwhile bits were the things that ordinary people would cut out.

Since when have I been ordinary people?

Enjoy, kittens. My outtakes, in no particular order:

"You Could Break Your Head"

2011-04-12T20:28:00.002-04:00

There is someone out there making P90x videos that are even more bizarre than mine.

I know. I wouldn't believe it either, if I were you.

Yeah... that was Train's "Soul Sister" you heard playing while he struggled to get his legs in and out of those straps.

Just. Sayin.

My death metal doesn't really seem so crazy now, does it?!

BIG Breakfasts

2011-04-10T22:29:00.004-04:00

There seriously is nothing better.

Nothing.

Observe:

Oatmeal with flax and a bit of caramel syrup
Leftover burger with feta inside
One egg (overcooked, sadly)
Half a broiled grapefruit (sprinkle of sugar, time under the broiler, sprinkle of salt)

One orange
1 oz of a chocolate Power Bar
Apple cinnamon oatmeal
Portabella veggie burger
One scrambled egg

Kashi cereal with skim milk
Half a broiled grapefruit
Half a two-egg broccoli, mushroom, and white cheddar frittata

See what I mean?

These breakfasts make my day. And... by using my protein leftovers, I can actually whip up one of these breakfasts in a hurry.

Tomorrow, for instance, I'll be starting my day with the leftover frittata, some greek yogurt, an orange, and... maybe toast!

I'm following a 2 protein, 1 fruit, 1 grain, and 1 sweet (or sweetish addition to one of the big four).

And how is the big breakfast working?

Well... I'm down 2 lbs and .7% body fat since I started doing it. So, I think it's working!

Here's to breakfasts! I'll take mine big, thank you.

My name is Amanda and I upcycle.

2011-04-09T13:26:00.001-04:00

I love wearing other people's clothes.

I do. I know it's odd, but I love it. Other people's clothes always fit better, feel comfier, and just generally seem better than my own duds.

Friends of appropriate size who leave items in my car or loan me something to sleep in or... you get the idea... should consider themselves very lucky to ever see those items again.

I'm a black hole for your clothing. You've been warned.

I'm not sure that I've ever told April about this, but she must have picked up on it at some point. Because one day while she was doing laundry, she crossed the hall to the kitchen where I was loading the dishwasher and said, "I brought you these pants."

Immediately, I knew I loved the blue, white, and black striped pants. I washed my hands, picked up the pants she'd tossed on the kitchen table and began my inspection. They were broken in without being ragged. They were within my three size range. They reminded me of an old Southern gentleman's suit.

As she continued to sort the wash - jeans over here, undershirts over there - she interrupted my musings to add, "I used to wear those to church."

Well. That did it. I tried them on right then and there in the kitchen.

And they fit.

From the back, one might even say they fit well.

But there was a fly in the ointment that both April and I noticed right away. The hand-me-down pants were... too short?! April's got several inches on me... so... my April-in-church mental image shifted to include extreme highwaters, or at least a shorter, younger version of April. I'm purposefully sticking with the latter.

So... hmm. The pants are comfy enough that they could be lounge-around pants, but they are cute enough that they should see a larger audience. What to do? What to do?

I've been thinking about this predicament for over a month. Probably two, actually.

Well... this morning, it hit me like an Oprah Aha! moment.

Shorts. Shorts are hard to buy, hard to fit, and just generally... not my favorite thing. So what do I have to lose by making pants I can't wear into shorts I just might?

Answer: Nothing!

After trying on the pants again and doing some figuring, I hacked off one pant leg, just above the knee.

I used the reject part of leg one to cut leg two to be the same length.

I tried them on again...

and started to get excited! It was working!

But while Bermuda shorts are nice and have their own time and place, I had something a bit... fancier in mind for April's cast offs. I cuffed them a few times...

and hit them with the iron.

I tzsujed the look by adding jewelry, red lipstick, nude heels, and a coyly sheer white tee.

To say that I'm deliriously pleased with the result would be pretty accurate.

Pin up style shorts from my soft butch bff's church pants. I've been smiling all day.

Now... since April is in basic training at the moment, she has no idea that I took the scissors to her pants. You, um... think she'll mind?

A video is a video?

2011-04-05T21:30:00.005-04:00

I may be shooting myself in the vlogger foot with this video; just a warning.

It's that kind of video that you may very well get to the end of and think, "Did I really just spend 7 minutes on that?"

So... you may thereafter be reluctant to watch later, more interesting videos.

But... eh... It's my blog. So there!

Watch if you want. Don't if you don't. Want. If you don't want. To watch.

Dammit.

Also... I ended the video by saying that I don't have anything to show you. But I do. I have a very random thing to show you.

After I finished my video, I prepared the rub for my mahi mahi. When I approached the spice cabinet, I thought the same thing I do every time I approach my spice cabinet: something needs to change.

This is what I'm working with:

But that's not really what I'm working with. Because I took that picture from above my head. This... this is what I'm working with:

Yeah... not so great. I took this next picture to show you that I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

Eh... it is what it is.

My spice selection process is a lot like that Memory game that I used to play as a kid. I'm pretty sure the parsley is riiiiight... dammit... k, it's gotta be over heeeere.... yessss!

So... the silver lining to this impossible spice arrangement is that I get a few of those little kid-like yessss! moments per day.

And since I am without counter space, I'll continue playing my spicy roulette until a better arrangement presents itself.

Hmm... maybe I'll think about my spice situation while I'm doing one-armed pushups.

Yeah... I do those in Phase 2 too.

This just in:

2011-04-03T22:11:00.003-04:00

I'd like my next career move to be an extreme coupon clipper.

Like a stay at home mom without the children.

I'd just like to maintain the house. And buy $600 worth of groceries for $6.

It would be cool.

(Like a girl with a moustache tattooed on her finger, just in cases.)

Salmon Switch: Dinner and a... Breakfast?

2011-04-01T21:03:00.003-04:00

It's easy dinner tiiiiiime!

Yesterday was a mental health day. I chilled. I only put on shoes once and I didn't even cross the threshold of my front door.

Don't get me wrong... I did things. I cleaned up my apartment. I did my P90x workout for the day (oh hey, Kenpo!). I wrote a couple letters. I returned some calls. I also... watched a lot of Food Network.

I think I probably watched three different episodes of Paula Deen shows. It was a beautiful day.

Anyway... in one of those Paula Deen shows, she was in the kitchen with her son, Jamie, making something ridiculously fatty and rich. To balance out that... whatever it was... I honestly don't remember... she made a salmon recipe that her youngest son, Bobby came up with.

Well... I love salmon. And I love Bobby Deen. You know him, right? The one who goes on the show and is visibly unnerved by his mother's liberal use of butter? The one who talks about making the traditional dishes just a little bit healthier? The one who looked like he wanted to die when Paula said, "Rub your meat, rub your meat, rub your meat?"

Yeah... that one.

I kinda love him.

So when he speaks (or rather... Paula tells me a recipe came from him), I listen.

Without any more fanfare, here is the quick salmon bake that Paula shared and I modified...

First, I gathered the ingredients that I had... and the ingredients I was going to make do...

Paula used sage, rosemary, and thyme but said we could use any herb combination we liked. I pillaged the cabinets and decided on basil, parsley, and thyme. It worked.

Paula used a lemon but said Bobby liked oranges. I had a tangerine. It also worked.

The salmon, butter, and house seasoning (salt, pepper, and garlic powder) were all above board. So... let's do this thing:

Step 1: Place salmon on foil, add a little bit of butter, season with house seasoning and the three herbs.

Step 2: Top each piece of fish with three slices of your chosen citrus.

Step 3: Fold up salmon packets of goodness and bake at 350 degrees for 13 minutes. Couldn't be easier.

Step 4: At 13 minutes, open up foil packaging and enjoy.

This salmon was flakey but moist. The tangerines provided a dynamite contrast to the fish. The butter... eh... didn't add much, perhaps because I use unsalted butter. Next time I'll swap it out for olive oil.

It was a good, protein rich dinner. And... this morning... I shredded and re-warmed the second piece of salmon, pulled the sections out of the tangerine slices, chopped up one hard-boiled egg and threw all of that on a toasted whole wheat English muffin.

Mmmmm... totally delicious.

Again, another big-ish breakfast that kept me happy all day long. I think I'm getting the hang of this eating and working out thing.

Maybe. I still need to figure out what to eat before my early morning workouts. I need the energy without the ew-I-just-ate-and-now-I'm-bouncing-around feeling.

I'll... umm... get back to you on that one. For now it's protein shakes... and that's not bad.

Hold the French Toast: A P90x Breakfast

2011-03-29T13:43:00.009-04:00

Diet advice is like a handshake. Regardless of height, weight, or general physical condition, everybody has one and will probably give you their's if you so much as say "Hi, my name is..."

I've listened to a lot of diet advice in my day. A metric butt ton of it, if you will.

But as I listen, I am usually saying an emphatic, "Yes, I know!" in my head.

This is not my first rodeo. I've lost a total of 60 lbs since college and not one of those pounds just "fell off" like I keep hearing happens to some lucky, mythical creatures on infomercials.

And what works?

Eating right and exercising. Go effin' figure.

So... I keep on keeping on and sometimes I bump it up, sometimes I slack off... but for the most part I stay on the level. This tells me that I've probably found my body's comfort zone. I'm slowly becoming okay with that.

Now that I'm P90x-ing though, I'm seeing results and getting demanding. I see some results so I want to see more! I see progress, so I want to see perfection!

I didn't - I know you're wondering - start following the P90x Nutrition Plan by the letter this week.

I thought about it. And if I had a personal chef and loads of money, I would probably be on board. I've heard both good and bad things about it, but I prefer to try things for myself.

So why am I not doing it?

I can't get over the "but diets don't work!" mantra, and I don't know that I want to. What if I find a diet that really does work? I'm either stuck on it (which isn't healthy) or I get off it, flounder a bit, and gain weight (which isn't healthy). And please, for the love of all that's good, don't tell me that the P90x Nutrition Plan isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle. Because... just think about it... I'm getting stronger and so is my right hook. Kthanks. Right now I feed my body what it needs and what it tells me it wants.

Basically... I'm better off doing me.

And while I'm P90x-ing, it wants good food and a lot of it.

When trolling around BeachBody.com, I found an article on big breakfasts and fell in love.

The author explains things like feeding your body the most when it is the most hungry. And eating certain fats, carbs, and proteins in the morning to set the tone for the rest of the day. I tell my students to choose strategies that make sense to them and their writing styles... Well, this big breakfast thing? Makes TOTAL sense to me and my cooking style.

I mean... hello... Have you been paying attention the "breakfast" tag on this blog?

So today while I did Yoga X in the livingroom, I was roasting a turkey breast tenderloin in the kitchen. Man, oh man, did it smell good.

The meal as posted on BeachBody was:

1 package plain instant oatmeal, prepared, with 1 scoop BeachBody Whey Protein Powder
1 cup fresh blueberries
3 oz. roasted turkey breast
1 large hard-boiled egg
1 oz. dark chocolate

Delicious, right?

I certainly thought so. But... being fitness (read: not food) bloggers, they left it at that. No instructions, no cooking times, just a good luck. Thankfully, I'm good at googling and experimentation. *ahem*

What I came up with was this:

So... allow me to make it easier on you than BeachBody made it on me. Here's my long-hand, food blogger version of their above breakfast. Also, if you're interested, there are a few other big breakfasts on the above link. I'll be making them soon, no doubt.

An hour and a half before you're ready to eat:

- Preheat oven to 350.
- Prepare turkey breast by placing in an oven-proof dish with 1/4 cup water.
- Sprinkle with basil, oregano, black pepper, and garlic powder.
- Bake covered for 30 minutes.

While the turkey roasts, do something else. Anything else (I did yoga) to distract you from the unadulterated protein you can't eat for another hour.

When the timer goes off...

- Remove foil from turkey and continue to roast for another 30 minutes.
- Put egg(s) in pot and cover with cold water.
- Set pot to boil but pull immediately from heat and cover as soon as it does.
- Let egg(s) sit in hot water for 17 minutes.

When those timers go off... (they'll probably be pretty close together)

- Remove turkey from oven. Cover with foil and let rest for 10 minutes.
- Remove eggs from hot water and place in bowl of ice water until cool.

While waiting for turkey and eggs...

- Gather chocolate & fruit and prepare oatmeal. (I didn't have fresh blueberries, so I had strawberries, which I nommed during the epic cooking event. Annnnd... I didn't have chocolate so I had 1 oz. of a chocolate power bar. Since I didn't have the Whey Protein to add to the oatmeal, I figured this balanced out.)

When the final timers go off...

- Slice one half of the turkey breast tenderloin (3 oz) and peel one hard-boiled egg.
- Plate with oatmeal, fruit, and chocolate.
- Nom the hell out of it.

Now... honesty is the best policy, so I'll tell you now that my prep was nothing like this. It took me a whole lot longer to prepare this meal than it should have.

But... I... uh... had never hard-boiled an egg before? I thought it was a quick thing! Eh... now I know. And... more importantly, I made four today instead of one, so I'm set for a bit.

Mid-prep, I worried that I wouldn't be able to eat so much food. It just seemed like a whole lot to have for breakfast.

So how much did I eat?

Oh... only this much:

And the best part is, I feel great! I didn't feel full but I did feel satisfied. I felt like I was good to go. And now, a full four hours later, I'm still feeling good. I had a banana just now and I think my body is asking for more of that leftover PowerBar.

Don't mind if I do...

P90x Day 30(ish)

2011-03-25T21:34:00.004-04:00

It's that time, friends! Time for the first set of progress pics!!!

Tonight at dinner, a friend asked how P90x was going. I told her the truth, "It's going well... but I start Phase Two tomorrow and I'm nerrrrvous!"

She smiled in a you-chose-this-not-me way and said, "You know, I feel like I've been part of this experience and I also feel like it's been longer than 30 days."

Ehh... she's not wrong.

If you've been following me on twitter, you might remember that my journey has been a bumpy one. I missed a few days for a quick trip to Portland. And I missed another day or two when I was sick at the very beginning.

Annnnnd... then I messed up during week 4. Instead of moving to the Week 4 "recovery" workouts, I did another of the strength training, muscle building first weeks, thus pushing myself back an entire week.

So... all told, my Phase One lasted all of 43 days. 35 of those days I was actively grunting, sweating, and bringing it. Those other 8 days... were lost for one reason or another.

That's alright though.

Tony says that there are several reasons why someone would choose to extend a phase. There must be even more ways in which someone could screw up the phase and accidentally extend it. I'm sure I'm in good company.

Now... before I run away from Phase One and move on to things like the Corn Cob Pull Up and who-knows-what kind of demon push ups, I want to make note of some lessons learned.

1. My flex face still sucks.

Go ahead. Go back and review. I don't mind.

After my on video flexing, a friend told me I looked like I smelled something bad. I revised... and now I just look slightly angry. Or... something.

2. My backgrounds suck worse than my flex face.

Again... review...

An open closet?! C'mon... If I had just closed the door, it would have been perfect. Solid background AND you'd think I am organized.

3. That freaky armpit muscle is still growing.

Picture 4. Feast your eyes on that sucker.

According to the anatomy coloring book flashcards Kate gave me, I believe this is the pectoralis major. Maybe. Whatevs... as long as I don't get that man neck thing, I'm fine with it.

In conclusion...

Dear P90x,

You're pretty okay in my book. Though you scare me, I'm excited to see where this relationship goes. Here's to another 60(+) days together.

Bringing It,

Amanda

Things I Miss at the Moment...

2011-03-24T15:47:00.003-04:00

This girl:

And these biscuits:

While neither you or I can have the girl for the next couple of months, we can sure as hell have the biscuits.

Well... I mean... let me level with you. You can have the biscuits.

I'm going to tendril for a minute here... if you just want the biscuit recipe, then feel free to scroll. I'll still love you.

Today marks the last day of my 5 week long (yes, I extended it... albeit accidentally) first phase of P90x. This morning I did Yoga X and though Tony begged me to clear my mind throughout the 90 minute exercise, I (no one is surprised) did not.

I thought about my students, my messy apartment, the brunch I knew was coming. I thought about the United States Postal Service and the five day work week. I thought about whether I'm by nature a cat or dog person. I thought about whether I'm a pet person at all.

But... then... I also thought about some things that some people might consider relevant. For instance, this whole P90x experience has introduced me to results in a way that no other exercise program or routine has. I am continually surprised by my own progress. Each time I do military pushups, I can do a couple more than I did the last time. Each time I do shoulder flys, I up the weight or the reps. Many times when Tony congratulates us for finishing the "hard part" of the workout, I think "Oh... really...? I didn't think we'd been going an hour yet..." I can see muscle development. I can feel myself getting stronger. Today when doing yoga, I was actually able to do the straight arm shoulder stands and alllllmost tackled the half moon. Almost.

But.

There's always a but.

The other thing that I kept thinking about while doing yoga today was my stomach. I mean... it's hard not to think about. What with all the bending and twisting and downward dogging.

My stomach is my least favorite body part. It's not flat. It's nowhere close to flat. And I'm afraid I might have ruined it by the years I spent dancing around a size 18. It may just be beyond that spring back point.

The thing is, though, I won't know if I don't try everything I can right now. At this moment, I am literally in the best shape of my life. I'm working out daily and I'm happily playing along with something called "Ab Ripper X" three times a week. If there were ever a time for me to flatten and tighten my stomach, this would be it.

Here comes the hard part... There is one aspect of the P90x program that I've been neglecting... The Diet. The P90x Nutrition Plan.

I capitalized it because it's that big of a deal. For me, at least.

I don't do diets. At least not seriously. I play with them. I try them on for size. And... then I drop them after a few days. But... I kinda want to see what would happen if I tackled this P90x diet and stuck to it.

It's only 60 days, right?

And who knows... the diet may just be the last piece of my flabby-to-flattened stomach puzzle. I don't know. What I do know... is that buttermilk biscuits are nowhere near the P90x diet.

Which is why I threw out the remaining two biscuits this morning.

Sigh.

Anyway... who wants biscuits with sausage gravy?? : )

April and I used the Perfect Buttermilk Biscuits recipe from Phe.Mom.Enon and Paula Deen's recipe for Sausage Gravy.

Yeah. When we do it, we do it right.

As we were making our shopping list, April let me know that under no circumstances would we me using my "nasty milk" for either of these recipes. And since Little Bit was shipping off to boot camp, I wasn't going to get into the all too common house debate over the merits of skim versus whole milk. So... we came home with Whole Milk and Buttermilk. The situation was intense... but the rewards were great.

We ate on those biscuits and that vat of gravy for days and STILL had leftovers to pitch.

My recommendation: Make these and make them now. But perhaps scale down the recipes a touch.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out what crazy people with flat stomachs eat. Besides the protein sludge. Because I still don't want to go there.

Yet another video post about P90x...

2011-03-15T17:21:00.004-04:00

I've been holding out on you guys.

I made this video about a week ago. I made it as a joke, with a lot of input from my brother.

(That guy.)

But then I showed it to a few people. And when they stopped lolling, they each said the same thing: "You need to post this."

So... thank them, if you like the video. If you don't... let me know to smack them the next time I see them.

(I'm cringing over here.)

Anyway... the point of this video WAS to mark the day that I did my first three unassisted chin-ups.

What is the real take-away of this video?

I think only you can answer that one for me...

Video: P90x Week 3 Update

2011-03-08T23:31:00.008-05:00

Oh heyyyyy...

I won't bother you with a wordy introduction, because this video is a bit of an investment at a full 8 minutes and 24 seconds.

But... eh... I couldn't really be bothered to be concise. Rambling is muuuuch easier.

Without further ado... my P90x Week 3 Update:

So... for those of you who know things, I'll go ahead and say that yes, I know it's a corn cob PULL (not push) up. I noticed I misspoke when I was reviewing the tape... but I wasn't offended enough to retape that bit.

And... sorry, Grace, no Eminem in this video. There's always next time...

The Handwriting Game

2011-03-02T10:41:00.005-05:00

This week, Grace (over at Grace Undone) tagged me in The Handwriting Game. The rules are simple. Answer the seven questions in your own handwriting, post pics, and then tag three other bloggers.

I would make it complicated by having at least half a dozen handwritings. It's what I do. I can't help it. Different situations call for different scripts.

Why do you think there are so many fonts in the world?! Same thing... I just like have my own internal font system.

Be jealous. Anyway... this is my quick and dirty handwriting. The one I use when I'm not thinking about my handwriting. I figured it was the truest version of the thing.

The Handwriting Game

1. Your name / Your blog name (Yeah... just noticing I did that one wrong. Whatevs. You know me.)

2. Your website

3. Write: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

4. Your favorite quote

5. Your favorite song

6. Your favorite singer or band

7. Anything else you'd like to say?

And now to the tagging bit...

(Don't be sad if you didn't make the three, do it anyway and let me know. I kiiiiinda have a thing for handwriting. See the tag below.)

1. Kate

2. Amber

3. Kaitlin

Enjoy, ladies. And the rest of you... go write something, will you?!

On Singledom... and Why I Need It.

2011-02-22T15:47:00.005-05:00

(Note: This post was started way back on... January 2nd... as a response to this prompt at The Femme's Guide. I missed the deadline like woah. But I still wanted to share. So... go with it.)

On January 2nd, 2011 a friend asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. Not if I made one, but what mine was.

Every year before this one, I would have been able to honestly dismiss the question by saying I don’t make resolutions. I’d use my handy, “if it’s a good idea in January, then I should have done it in December” excuse.

But… this year… I’d made a resolution.

So… I took a deep breath and texted (yes, texted… judge all you want) this back:

My resolution is to be fabulous and single in 2011.

Her first response: Aren’t you already both?

Umm… not quite. (But thanks! ) If I were, I wouldn’t need the resolution.

Her second response (within the same minute, mind you): If you met someone great, why would you want to be single?

That, admittedly, is a more difficult question to answer. Why would anyone want to be single? Why would I want to be single?

When I think about cuddling up, holding hands on the sidewalk, having a someone who cares about my day, or arriving home to something more responsive than a KitchenAid mixer, I… can’t really say that I do want to be single. But… that is the exact type of thinking that I want to move beyond in 2011.

The past two or three years, for me, have been a continual bounce between being in love and searching for the same. In love, I daydreamed, smiled a lot, made a lot of gutsy moves, made even more mixed cds, and generally played my part as the 20-something, ditsy in love. Between great loves (cough, cough), I scouted for the next one. I approached women in bars and coffee shops. I chatted with them online. I followed them on twitter. I flirted with straight girls and I agreed to dates I knew were bad ideas. And… might as well admit it, I even found some chicky chicks on Craigslist.

It was fun (at times), and I eventually became that girl with the crazy stories. You know the one… the girl who only needs a “soooo…?” and a smile to launch her into the weekend recap? Well… that was me. Was me… in 2010. But it’s not going to be me in 2011.

In 2011, I am going to be fabulous and single.

Did I mention that? Because I am. In addition to all the normal things like cleaning the kitchen before going to bed, covering my firewood before it starts raining, and finding the perfect white gold earrings, I am going to tackle the much harder mission of being single and being happy about it.

I’ve painted a very impressive picture of this in my mind. It involves me, in the best shape of my life, happy, winsome, and beyond charming as I politely decline dates and wave off suitors left and right.

(In this picture, I’m also on the dance floor in an outfit that I could probably only afford in such a dream sequence… but that’s not the important bit, is it?)

So… that’s what I’m after.

I don’t want to be that girl who is tied to her phone, waiting for a text and wondering what it could possibly mean when she goes an afternoon without getting one. I don’t want my mood to be tied to someone else’s current take on me. I want to wear my favorite underwear on a Tuesday, if I feel like it, because I’m not the least bit concerned about who might need to see them and when.

I want to be the fun, together, productive girl that I know lives somewhere inside me.

And when former loves stroll up to introduce the new girls who are just perfect, I’ll smile wide (revealing beautiful white teeth) and raise my perfectly shadowed lids and mascara-ed lashes to make comfortable eye contact with both of them. My sexy heels clicking as I return to my car, coffee shop, or classroom, I’ll remind myself that my single and fabulous self won’t be angrily arguing something trivial that afternoon or getting its feelings hurt over dinner.

Then… one day… maybe years from now… someone will make me an offer I can’t refuse.

Annnd… I’ll refuse it.

But only so she’ll make it again, with more feeling.

Until then… it’s protein bars, P90x, platonic outings, and being the token lesbian again. I’m fine with all of that. I’m actually kind of looking forward to it.

Who's with me? Any 2011 singletons who (like me) need a jolt of fab in their lives?

My Weekend (in Pictures)

2011-02-21T11:09:00.005-05:00

I could stop with this one picture...

but I won't. I'll expound.

I mailed my valentines just in time for the one week anniversary of Valentine's Day.

This strapping gentleman fixed my car after it overheated, an hour away from home. I swooned a little bit and he wouldn't let me pay him. It was all very Southern.

I went to the grocery an obscene 6 times. 3 times in one day. Largely so I could make the next three pictures happen...

I've begun feeding my egg habit with egg white wraps of all different sorts. This one was simple enough with chili powder and white cheddar, but tomatoes and mushrooms are also becoming regulars.

That's April. Eating leftover bacon from a ziploc bag. Wearing a shirt that I cried on twice that day. (Stay tuned!)

That night's dinner was a jaw-dropping batch of creamy white cheddar grits atop a fried egg, and sprinkled with crumbled bacon. O.m.g.

36 baby blue, baby shower cupcakes, perched neatly on a white stand. You'd never guess I had a mid-kitchen, icing-enduced, ugly cry breakdown over those suckers, wouldja?

Tony Horton praises his protein and vitamin packed Recovery Drink in each of his P90x workouts. Sure... that's nice and all, Tony, but after the aforementioned kitchen breakdown, I turned to a very different recovery drink. Whiskey and a splash of coke. And now, if you'll indulge me... a bit of dialogue from that evening...

April: *nods at my drink from behind her beer* How strong is that?
Amanda: Not terribly. *hands jar over for sniffing purposes*
April: *sniffs* Woooo... I don't know what "not terribly" means to you... but that's pretty strong.

Gimme a break, all of you. I usually drink it straight.

And... even better than the protein shake that helps me recover from P90x or the whiskey that helps me recover from bad days... is fro yo that makes the world (and especially my corner of it) a better place. This picture was taken so I could ask a friend what that pink squidgy bit was.

She didn't know either. And... after this weekend of ups and downs, that really just figured.

Week 1: Soaring Soreness

2011-02-14T15:35:00.004-05:00

On day one, I thought... won't this be fun?!

On day two, I realized my arms were too sore to exert enough force to crack my knuckles.

On day three, I discovered just how much ab work is required to roll over in bed.

On day four, I wondered if my back and shoulders would ever be the same again.

On day five, I actually gasped out loud when I lowered myself all the way down to sit on a step without bracing myself with my hands.

On day six, I am happy to report that my body (all bits) registers only the slight soreness that would accompany more normal exertions.

*I should maybe mention that I have yet to complete my Day 6 workout.*

Eggs

2011-02-10T12:51:00.004-05:00

Or... The true expense of P90x.

Today I did this workout...

for the first time. We did moves like the one you see pictured above. That's called "The Flying Heinsman." I'm not even kidding.

And I looooved it. It was very Jillian and I liked that. It felt like home.

So... I finished the workout, sweaty, exhausted, and very sore from yesterdays Chest, Back, Abs situation. Tony has mentioned this "recovery drink" mess a few times, but until that moment, I hadn't really considered it.

Well... I'm still not to the point of drinking sludge for fun, but I knew I needed protein... so to the P90x recipes I went!

I mixed a couple of recipes and came up with this:

6 egg whites (6?!)
about 6 grape tomatoes
3/4 oz mozzarella cheese
sprinkling of basil

And... when cracking and separating all those eggs... all I could think was...

When I was a boy I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. Now I'm a man I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!

In the end, I dropped about an egg white worth of the scramble on my left sneaker. Don't ask. And... I left about an egg white and a half on the plate. So... did I eat half a dozen egg whites after all? Nope.

There's always tomorrow.

P90x: Day 1

2011-02-09T12:03:00.002-05:00

Picture it, my livingroom around 7am.

I've been at this for over an hour. My arms are tired. My hair is mussed from sleeping. My bright fuchsia socks don't match anything else I have on.

Tony is making an X with his arms and encouraging me to make everything "X-like," though I'm not at all sure what he means by that. There is a German woman to his right who, by comparison, makes my hair look amazing but my stomach look flabby.

From a seated, abs-engaged position on the floor of his dungeon-esque gym, Tony calls out, "Imagine doing 100 of these!"

I know this is meant to be encouraging. But... honestly, who is that helping?

If I had enough breath to say it out loud, I would have. Instead, my brows dropped, my limbs flopped to the floor mid-crunchy turtle (or whatever the flip we were doing) and I thought, "But I would never imagine something like that, Tony..."

And just like that... I crossed the threshold between people who had never and would never imagine something like that... to someone who... I guess... will start imagining reps. Le sigh.

P90x: Wait... What?!

2011-02-08T19:41:00.002-05:00

Hello, friends.

You may have forgotten me and my little ol' blog. I all but did!

I have many reasons for this, none of which you are probably interested in.

I'll list some of them anyway. (I lost my memory card. I got distracted by something shiny. I stopped cooking for a bit. I started and abandoned a tumblr. I started baking for pay and stopped doing it for stress relief. [I've corrected this... don't worry. ;)] And I resolved to be single and fabulous in 2011.)

See... nothing you're interested in.

So what are you interested in?! Why are you here?! What DO you WANT from me?!

Hopefully... a video about the P90x situation that is about to go down in my life. Because... that's all I've got for you today. Well... that video and a promise that I will be back with more awkwardness.

Maybe food. Maybe P90x. Maybe shoes. Maybe sass. Okay... definitely sass, no matter what.

For now though... the video.

On review... I've noticed that there are at least three ridiculous cartoon-y type voices in this video about P90x. You're welcome.

Love and Pull Ups,

A

October Goods: Better Late than Never

2010-11-06T12:00:00.000-04:00

Morning, kittens. : )

It seems that lately I've been getting distracted by shiny things (or people... or a person... shut uuuup). And in the midst of that, I realized that I missed giving you a few things. So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Pecan-Topped Pumpkin Bread from Cooking Light

I made this pumpkin bread, ate a bit, shared a bit, and French toasted the rest. No complaints here...

In the interest of full disclosure, I skipped the pecan topping (a good choice since I ended up serving it to someone with a nut allergy) and subbed whole wheat flour for some of the AP.

2. Potato Soup

I love soups, but only on certain days. Well... those days come more often once fall sets in. On this particular night, I made a rich, cheesy, sour cream potato soup that ended up reminding me of my grandma's mashed potatoes. Mmmm... I really wish I'd written down the recipe.

3. Pumpkin Beer Cupcakes with Alicia's Halloween Decorations

Adorable, no?! I followed The Bitchin Kitchen's recipe for Pumpkin Beer Cupcakes with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting exactly. Well... that was the intent, at least. As it happened, I halved the recipe without incident... until it came time to add the pumpkin ale... at that point I forgot I was halving and added the full amount of pumpkin ale. But... ya know... it didn't hurt anything. My snafu resulted in a light, almost sponge-like cake.

While I baked and iced, Alicia made these cute cleavers, tombstones, pumpkins and undead hands out of gum paste she died, sculpted, and painted. Another fab collaboration, if you ask me.

4. Chicken Soup for a Sickie

Mmmhmm... another of those soup days. This one was necessitated by two things: a sore throat and a lot of leftovers. A creamy chicken and rice soup was just what I needed and the leftovers from the leftovers kept me happy for a next couple of days. Again... recipe... I don't have one for ya.

Sooo... now that we're both caught up... let's November together, yes?

(Non-Potato) Fries of Goodness

2010-11-01T19:20:00.000-04:00

Sometimes a crunchy, salt, soft-on-the-inside fry needs to happen.

And personally, when I decide that this fry business needs to happen, it's more about crunchy, tasty bit than it is about the actual potato. Knowing this... I stepped out the other night and made some fries of a... leftover... yellow bell pepper.

I know, I know. It's brilliant.

Anyway... another thing that sometimes happens (but not too often) is me watching a full episode of Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals. This 3 step batter came from Ms. Ray.

Do I remember what she was battering or what she called this batter? Not at all.

Do I remember what else she was making in that episode? Nope.

Do I have a recipe for you? Again... no.

I'm sorry. I know that's kinda rude. But! The silver lining in this situation is that... well... last week I made and enjoyed some ridiculously good bell pepper fries. Feeling better yet? : )

Alright... If you're the adventurous, make-it-up-as-you-go type (like I am), then perhaps this will be enough to get you going:

Bowl 1: flour
Bowl 2: egg
Bowl 3: seasoned bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, salt, and pepper.

Oh... and it probably goes without saying, but these fries are baked, not fried.

So... go make fries of something awkward and let me know how it goes. Until I hear from you, I'll just be hanging out over here. Not watching Rachael Ray.

French toast, the right way?

2010-10-29T13:43:00.000-04:00

It's been weeks since I made this French toast.

Maybe even a month. But... boys and girls... my mouth is watering as if I were sitting in front of this decadence right now, after having fasted for a week.

What's so great about it?

Well... in addition to the fact that it is French toast made with PUMPKIN BREAD (I knoooow!), it is French toast that I actually made the right way.

I didn't know I was making it wrong all these years, but I was.

The right way starts out as I thought... A couple of eggs, some milk, and whatever flavoring sounds good to you. This time I shook in some cinnamon and splashed in some vanilla.

But... then... you let the bread soak in it. Now... this... for me... is different. I've always been a dunk, dunk, pan person myself, but... no longer! Let that jank soak!

When it does make it to the pan, just brown it. Don't worry about the innards, they'll get their due in a minute, when you...

bake it.

That's right, kittens. This is where the magic happens.

All that cinnamon vanilla custardy mix that crept into the the crevices of that soaking bread earlier, is now going to souffle up and make for the most wonderful, fluffy/firm French toast experience you've ever had.

Just look at that heft! That crumb! That sweet, pumpkin, cinnamon, vanilla, eggy goodness!

Ugh. Ima need a minute.

Rainbow French Toast (and a Moral)

2010-10-22T21:37:00.008-04:00

Things happen.

But when they do... you usually have new options. (Like removing the icing and starting again...

By soaking cupcake slices in a custardy, almond flavored mixture.

And frying them up. And baking them for a few minutes after that.)

This time, I found out that though rainbow cupcakes are tasty, rainbow cupcake French toast is amazingly, woah Nelly delicious.

So, I guess what I'm saying is... it gets better.

(I'm also saying that this happened on a lazy weekend morning that demanded brunch. My cabinets, however, were ridiculously bare... so the cupcakes had to stand in for breads.)

Cupgaykes for all!

2010-10-11T21:48:00.005-04:00

Today (October 11th) is National Coming Out Day!

So, I think it's time I share something with you.

This cupcake...

And this one...

All of these...

And even these unbaked cupcakes... are gay.

And it would make about as much sense to turn down one of these cupgaykes for being different as it would to do the same to a person.

Dear cupgaykes,

I love you just the way you are.

Love,

Amanda

Oh, and for a touch of irony... these cupgaykes came from a box. :)

Fries of a Different Type...

2010-10-07T10:21:00.000-04:00

Not everything is what it seems. If you know me, you should know this.

If you've read my blog, you should also know this. C'mon... I'm the girl who eats (and likes) facon. And turkey burgers. And carrot fries.

But today I have some uh-ther fries to tell you about. They're made of...

*drumroll, please*

Bagels!

Hahaha... You're excited. I can tell. : ) I can hear you buzzing on the other side of the screen.

Truth be told, I had tried bagel fries on campus last week, so this experiment was more of a recreation than anything else.

Whatever the case... I started by slicing a bagel into steak fry-like shapes. Then I tossed them into a skillet of butter and garlic...

Let them hang out and toast a bit...
Flipped them a couple of times to toast on all sides... (salting as I turned)

And la-tee-freakin-da. Bagel fries.

Mmm... delicious and buttery. So awkwardly decadent. I couldn't decide if I should be savoring the moment or... ya know... treating it like a bagel.

In the end, I decided that if decadence arrives in a bagel fry package, then it's not my place to question it.

I used some of my bagel fries to scoop up some forty spice hummus too. That, also, was not a bad call.

*drools on keyboard*

Oops. Sorry. Anyway... gotta run! Hundreds of cupcakes hang in the balance!

(Not kidding. Keep your eyes on the blog and twitter for updates!)

Sausages, of link and patty

2010-10-04T09:22:00.005-04:00

Alright, so there are no links... but patties! I made sausage patties! ME... the girl who doesn't like to touch meat!

INCONCEIVABLE! (you say)

Not so, kittens! (now we're back to me again)

Here's the sitch: I had 1/2 lb of leftover ground pork from the meatloaf meat-rubbing experience you read about a bit ago. (Don't worry... this post is a little late. The meat was very much still fresh when I sausaged it.) So I thought about what ground pork on its lonesome was actually good for. And... I had no idea. So I consulted allrecipes.com's ingredient search.

Are you familiar with this tool, kittens? Because it's awesome and you should be.

You just list the ingredients you do and don't want (I wanted neither a breakfast casserole or liverwurst) and voila! It gives you options. I saw sausages popping up all over the place, so I went in that direction.

I read a bunch of sausage patty recipes and decided that few of them had everything I wanted. And as far as the ones that did... well, I didn't have everything they wanted. (Such is life, right?) So I finagled and guessed... and came up with this:

To my 1/2 lb of ground pork, I added:

1/3 teaspoon thyme
1/3 teaspoon salt
1/3 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1/3 teaspoon crushed red pepper
few shakes of hot sauce
a good drizzling of butter maple syrup

Then I put my hand in a Ziploc bag...

(Aren't those things versatile?!*) And I mixed up the meat without having to touch it or thoroughly devastate it with a spoon.

After spending some quality time in a skillet on medium high heat...

My sausage patties were ready for action. And they were quite good! Spicy and sausagey without being too greasy or heavy. I loved them. So much so that I...

cut up a patty the next morning, cracked an egg over it, and made a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel sandwich that made my work lunch. And, let's be honest, my whole day.

* My mom, who is of the I'm-not-going-to-look-so-you-just-narrate-for-me camp of scary movie watchers, has come up with a particularly genius way of watching scary movies through a ziploc bag. I'd explain... but she might never forgive me to putting just this part on the interwebs. Point is... ziploc bags are the bomb.

Video Post: Halloween Prep

2010-10-02T17:34:00.004-04:00

Just in case you've ever wondered what it would be like to be my mirror...

Now you know.

Any guesses regarding my Halloween costume??

(P.S. If I've told you, then it's not a guess. Play fair!)

Coffee's On!

2010-09-29T16:23:00.004-04:00

Dear Twitter Friends,

Thank you for being some of the best friends around, even if I don't know where you are... or what your first name really is.

Thank you for taking an interest in how many pairs of shoes I have and how I feel about that number.

Thank you for suggesting blogs you think I'll like and for letting me know that sometimes you like mine too.

Thank you for updating so often that each time I check back (no matter how often I do it), one of you has said something new and worthwhile.

And today... thank you for letting me know several times over that today is National Coffee Day. Without you, I'd have missed it completely.

This homemade pumpkin spice latte is for you, tweethearts.

Love and 140 characters,

Amanda Fiercehair

P.S. Did anyone else catch that *the* Jillian Michaels responded to me today?! Yep! She did! I told her she was a cruel mistress, and she said... wait for it... wait for it...

"thank you."

*Swoon*

Thank you too for understanding how excited I got about that.

Bagel Brunch!

2010-09-27T12:00:00.001-04:00

I don't know what it is about bagels, but I love them.

Love, love, love them.

What else do I love?

Well, a lot of things. But for the purposes of this post... BRUNCH!

So, this week I picked up some bagels and this weekend, I had an Aha! moment.

Why can't I french toast a bagel?! Well... boys and girls... I can now tell you without any hesitation that there is no good reason why I (or you) can't french toast a bagel.

Walk this way.

Step 1: Turn on Grey's Anatomy (oh hai, Arizona!) and slice your bagel at least once. I sliced mine into 4 pieces. 3 would be perfect... but my bagel was pre-sliced. So... 4.

Step 2: Crack two eggs into a big, shallow bowl. Whisk them up with 1/2 tablespoon of milk, 1/4 tsp of cinnamon extract, 1/2 tsp vanilla extract.

Step 3: Dip a slice-o-bagel in the egg mixture, and fry it up.

Step 4: Reassemble the bagel as the slices are fried. Place in front of Grey's Anatomy episode still in progress.

Step 5: Add butter and syrup to taste. Enjoy the bagelly goodness.

Mmmm... I wholeheartedly approve.

What would be better? Some sort of fruit topping. Or filling. Or cream cheese filling with a fruit topping. Just saying.

Those bagelly layers are just screaming for something colorful and tasty. Hmm... I'll keep you posted.

Carry on, brunchers!

That Time April Rubbed Her Meat and I Watched

2010-09-25T22:49:00.006-04:00

I almost feel like I should leave the post at that.

You could gasp. Or laugh. Or cringe. ...And then we could all go on our merry ways and look elsewhere for either a good recipe or a good ol' NSFW post.

But... because we all know I'm not good at leaving well enough alone (shut up, Alicia), I'll write out a post that will drag out the joke until you don't so much as remember that it was ever even a little bit funny in the first place.

Eeeee... I can't wait!

We'll get to April in a minute, but first... another Southern lady. THE Southern lady, if you're asking me.

See... Paula Deen is always saying, "Rub your meat, rub your meat, rub your meat." Though I love Paula, I do not love raw meat. I might even hate it. I might even be making an ew face as I type this.

(By "might" I mean that I am. And it looks exactly like this.)

Anyway... so how am I to prove that my meatloaf is no ordinary meatloaf when I would really rather not touch the meat myself? Well... this time... I started by chopping up a bunch of really beautiful vegetables.

Frying them up with some spices and such...

And then I let April loose on the meat.

Do you guys remember the ew face? Because it comes back when I look at these pictures too.

So much meat touching.

Blech. In the end though, we ended up with a lovely spread.

A spicy cajun meatloaf and bacon, cheddar, jalapeno biscuits. Oh yeah, and a salad.

Mmm... so... meat touching... not great. I do it. But with the ew face.

These recipes, on the other hand, really are great. Try them. Like now. And don't forget to rub your meat, rub your meat, rub your meat.

Or find a friend who is willing to rub it for you.

Salmon... Hot Pockets?

2010-09-18T09:18:00.000-04:00

Put your Golden Girls hat on, because (like Blanche) I'm about to set the scene...

Imagine you've had a long day. About as long as they come for you. Perhaps it was a long day at the office. Or running around after the kiddos. Or... you know... darning your cats' sweaters. I'm not judging; you do you. The important part of the whole thing is that your day has been long. Good... Surprisingly good... But still long.

You're chilaxin' all groggy-like in bed after a quick little nap. A nap marred oddly by one of those dreams in which you're inexplicably naked. In a room that starts out awkwardly small and shrinks until it's touching you on two sides at once.

You're lazily playing around on your phone when a friend calls in. Turns out her day has been longer. And more stressful. And it may have included tests. She asks about your plans for the night. You tell her you have none. She asks about dinner, you mumble something about checking the fridge. Three minutes later, you've offered to make her dinner and uttered the supremely casual "come over whenever," as if you weren't laying in bed, playing on your phone, nearly naked and still half asleep.

Tell me, dear readers, what are you thinking right now. Right now as you lay on the bed, knowing what lies ahead of you in the next 20 minutes? (The amount of time the friend said it would take her to get your place, btdubs.) Go ahead... I'll wait here while you go leave your answer as a comment. I want to know.

Because what I was thinking was twofold.

1 - What the hell am I going to make for dinner?

2 - Do I put on real clothes for this friend. Or will pajamas do at 7pm?

I answered the second question first when I decided that, yes, this friend merited real clothes. I'll have to ask her if she appreciated (or noticed) that detail.

The first question though... was slightly more involved. After taking stock of the fridge and pantry, I decided that roasted broccoli (a crowd favorite... as long as the crowd is me) would happen.

Done and done.

And what to go with? Let's see... frozen pie crust... some thinly sliced ham... 10 eggs... banana cream pie yogurt... whole wheat linguine... this was not going well. Until... I saw them.

A can of refrigerated crescent rolls. *cue singing angels*

I rescrounged with a new purpose and found frozen salmon burgers and pepper jack cheese. I cooked the burgers in a skillet per pkg instructions, topped each with a piece of pepper jack cheese, and wrapped each in a rectangle of crescent roll dough.

And voila. The long day salmon hot pocket of goodness was born.

I know, I know. You're impressed. As you should be.

But you're also curious. Just because I wrap something in a crescent roll doesn't mean it's automatically going to be tasty. Well... if that's what you think... then you have some more thinking to do. Because that pretty much is what happens when you wrap something in a crescent roll. It goes straight from okay to... okay wrapped in golden, buttery, crescent roll. Which is... hella good.

Overall, we decided the salmon hot pocket was... a lot of salmon. It needs something to jazz it up and cut the... salmon-ness a bit. The friend mentioned something about orange slices that she saw on a pbs cooking show. I threw my hands in the air.

And then she cut up a peach that we ate... with the skin ON. I know. Very Georgia of us.

So help two tired girls out. What does this salmon hot pocket creation need between the salmon and the crescent goodness?

Naany-Naany-Boo-Boo...

2010-09-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

Pssst...

I toasted half a piece of my garlic naan Monday night to go with my eggs and facon.

Gurl.

It was so good.

Eggs, fluffy and cheesy. Naan, warm and garlicky. Facon, umm... well... facony.

Just... wanted to let you know.

*slinks back into the blog shadows*

Don't Tease Me with a Naan Time

2010-09-13T15:13:00.004-04:00

Today as I was wrapping up my trip to Walmart for essentials like drain clog remover and mascara, my eye caught sight of the... bread section.

And when I got closer, I saw it... Garlic Naan. From the Walmart bakery.

I flipped the package over and read a list of things I could do with my (oh yes, I had already committed) garlic naan. And on the list of things I could make... tuna melt naan, pizza naan, naan wraps, naan dippers, naanwiches, naantons, naan toast and... wait for it... PANINI NAAN.

Well. Didn't have to tell me twice.

My panini naan was simple enough. I used a collection of stuffs from the fridge. Ham, sour cream, and feta, actually.

Random, yes. Delicious? You betcha.

So... I share this naan goodness with you not so you'll buy my random ingredients and duplicate it. What you should do is... strike out and trust Walmart with something fancy. Apparently they can handle naan. (And drain cleaner. And mascara. And torture devices.)

Happy Monday, lovelies.

Busy Day and Awkward Blogging. Oh, and a Burger.

2010-09-06T22:39:00.009-04:00

Harumph, dear readers. Just... harumph.

(ground turkey... for the weak at... stomach?)

I uploaded the pics for this blogpost last night. I'd been saving this blog post all day as my reward for doing real work.

So last night when I realized that I had done my work and was completely prepped for Tuesdays teaching marathon, I dutifully selected the few pics that would actually make it from my memory card to this post.

By "dutifully selected", I most nearly mean that I narrowed each shot down to a couple of options and quizzed a semi-willing friend on "which is better?" Small beans... the pictures were selected by someone.

And then they were uploaded.

And then they were put in order.

And then I stared at them.

I... had nothing. No words. No inspiration. No motivation even.

I bugged the same semi-willing friend for a topic. She... was no help. She even compared some of my pics (the only things I had going for me at that point) to dog food.

Yes. Yes, I know. We're no longer friends.

So... I metaphorically shelved this blogpost for the night. I closed the laptop. I walked away. I slept on it.

(Who am I kidding? I slept on my bed.)

But then something funny happened at lunch today. Or... more accurately... in the small portion of time in which I should be having lunch.

Something about eating poptarts from a refrigerated vending machine just... well... made me remember everything that was wonderful about the burgers I couldn't bring myself to post last night.

So there you have it.

A glimpse into the inner workings of my bizarre little mind, and a new twist on some leftovers that you may recognize from the Easy Gyro Pizza.

Here's the rough recipe: (I'm blogging from the office, remember?)

.5 lb of ground turkey
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp salt
cracked pepper to taste (meaning I didn't measure)
half a red onion, chopped
pat of butter for sauteeing onion
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
sour cream
feta cheese
1 sheet of puff pastry
1 egg

1. In a small skillet, brown up the red onion in butter.
2. In medium bowl, combine ground turkey, oregano, salt, pepper, and red onion. Mix.
3. Form into three patties, filling each with a bit of mozzarella cheese.
4. Cook patties in a medium skillet.
5. Lay out thawed puff pastry sheet.
6. Dollop sour cream in the middle of each sheet and top with feta. When burgers are done, place on top of feta.
7. Wrap puff pastry around burger and seal edges.
8. Brush pastry tops with egg wash.
9. Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, or until pastry is golden brown.

I hope your lunch was better than mine. Two hours later... I'm already hungry.

Pizza and a Movie

2010-09-04T13:07:00.006-04:00

Those of you who follow me on Twitter might remember my excitement a while back over getting a new neighbor. You might also remember that we had dinner a few weeks back. You might even remember that at this dinner we both confessed to being Twitter nerds and... well... tweeting about each other.

If you don't remember any of that, then I'd say you're either not reading or not retaining. Both things you should work on. Until then... I'll show you some pretty pictures and flashy videos and catch you up on what April, Amanda, and Amanda (mmhmm... we share a name) did last night.

We made Pillsbury's Easy Gyro Pizza and found that it was easy and definitely yum:

(if you're not about to click through that recipe link, I'll give you a heads up on the main ingredients: refrig pizza crust, sour cream, mozzarella, ground turkey, cucumber, tomato, feta, red onion)

While we digested, we gasped and cursed our way through Session 9:

A good time was had by all. We also exchanged Twitter info so that we can be real (internet) friends.

What did you kittens do on Friday night?

Oh, and who wants to be my Twitter friend? ; )

Spaghetti Squash, Shmaghetti Squash

2010-09-01T15:41:00.008-04:00

Hey, guys.

*shuffles feet, looks at ground*

Didja... miss me?

*crickets*

Well... whatevs. I missed you suckers.

So I'm back. And I've made you dinner. Alright... fine, I'll be straight with you: I made myself dinner. And I took pictures of it for you.

So what ~~are we~~ am I having?

only Spaghetti Squash!

I forgot to take a picture of the whole squash, but you can probably imagine what it looked like. Annnnd... you can probably imagine the epic struggle that took place when I had to cut that squash in half lengthwise...

I grunted. I strained. I took breaks. I might have even broken a sweat. I don't remember now.

Anyway, this is what I came up with.

Two halves. One gutted, one not. For comparison purposes.

Now, I first thought "this is will be my first and last experience making my own spaghetti squash" when trying to cut the damn thing. The second time I thought that was when I cracked it open and caught sight of what looked an awful lot like pumpkin gunk. Ew.

Luckily it's much easier to rid spaghetti squash of their gunk than it is pumpkins.

Once gutted, the spaghetti squash halves got the spa treatment with some olive oil, salt, pepper and a 350 degree oven.

See how handy I am with a knife? Take note. I had A LOT of control of what was going on with that knife.

*over-dramatic eye roll*

After about 30 minutes, the squash looked like this. Almost falling apart into its spaghetti-ness. I took a fork to it, dumped it into a bowl with a bit of butter (alright, it was vegan "buttery spread" but it worked), parmesan cheese, and bit more salt and pepper.

It was... so delicious.

I do think it was bit overcooked, because I've had spaghetti squash that was firmer. So... ugh... I guess I will have to make another date with the knife in the near future.

This next time, though, I'm going to send out a text to let someone know that I'm taking my life in my own hands. Just in cases.

Cloudy with a Chance of...

2010-07-26T11:27:00.004-04:00

I've noticed something about this great state of Georgia.

This state, like none other that I've lived in, deals in clouds. We can go from sunny to stormy in about fifteen minutes.

From billowy and puffy...

to menacing and grey...

to downright apocalyptic.

But all I really want is something like this...

so I can spend my little bit of time off doing more of this.

Dear Clouds,

I've asked nicely. Do your best to comply.

Love and blue skies,

Amanda

Vegan Chocolate Coconut Cupcakes

2010-07-20T10:58:00.003-04:00

Good morning, lovely.

Hmph. Yeah, I can hear you. I know what you're thinking.

"So what? It's a cupcake. It looks chocolate, but whatev. Why do we care?"

Well... maybe you don't care. And I won't try to make you... but if you were to give a flip, I'd encourage you to find the animal products in this pile of ingredients.

Can't? Good. These chocolate & coconut cupcakes are vegan, babies.

Which explains why yesterday I found myself standing beside a friend, staring into a bowl of chocolate soy milk and vinegar and wondering if it would ever - in fact - curdle. (It didn't.)

We soldiered on though... and forked the dry ingredients in a separate bowl.

And combined them (in two parts) with the soy & vinegar solution.

I then poured 1/4 of a cup of batter into each cupcake liner. Apparently while I did that, the vegan said or did something funny.

Exactly 15 minutes after the cupcakes went into the 350 degree oven, they were perfectly cooked and domed. And just... perfect. Chocolatey and moist but very light with a velvety crumb. It might be a new go to chocolate cake recipe for me.

The icing was not so perfect, but it was my first time trying to make a buttercream with... "buttery spread." Here you can see the shortening and buttery spread whipped together.

After adding the extracts, coconut milk, and powdered sugar, it pulled together like a weak icing. Not bad... but odd. As in, really light in texture but wicked sweet. So I'm going to do some finagling with the icing recipe. I'm going to consult Wilton next time.

The verdict: vegan shmegan. Maybe it's because I didn't have to do anything with silken tofu, but I didn't really find vegan baking too taxing. What does that mean? Well... I think it means I need a gluten free friend to come along and really rock my baking boat.

Should you or a vegan treat of yours want to follow in my ever-cautious, fumbling footsteps, here are the recipes I used.

Basic (Vegan) Chocolate Cake from Chow

1 cup soy milk (We used Light Chocolate Silk because I already had it.)
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract, chocolate extract, or more vanilla extract (We used coconut because we thought, why not?)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder, Dutch-processed or regular
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 350°F and line a muffin pan with paper or foil liners.

2. Whisk together the soy milk and vinegar in a large bowl, and set aside for a few minutes to curdle. Add the sugar, oil, vanilla extract, and other extract, if using, to the soy milk mixture and beat until foamy. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add in two batches to wet ingredients and beat until no large lumps remain (a few tiny lumps are OK).

3. Pour into liners, filling 3/4 of the way. Bake 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Transfer to a cooling rack and let cool completely.

Coconut Icing (a revision of the Vegan Fluffy Buttercream Frosting from Chow)

1/2 cup nonhydrogenated shortening
1/2 cup nonhydrogenated margarine (We used BestLife Buttery Spread because anyone who doesn't listen to Oprah should be questioned.)
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted if clumpy (You already know I did not sift.)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract (We used 1 t coconut extract and 1/2 t vanilla extract.)
1/4 cup plain soy milk or soy creamer (We used coconut milk.)

1. Beat the shortening and margarine together until well combined and fluffy. Add the sugar and beat for about 3 more minutes.

2. Add the vanilla and soy milk, and beat for another 5 to 7 minutes until fluffy.

Now that I'm writing out this recipe, I'm thinking that the coconut milk was the problem. I think it's a bit too thin to really bring together a nice icing. So perhaps before I go to all the way to Wilton, I'll just try making it with soy.

4th Festivus (fit for pajamas)

2010-07-04T12:32:00.004-04:00

In my last blogpost (yes... it has been a while) I explained that me and holidays are casual acquaintances at best. I explained it in the context of birthdays and the lesser holidays, but my issue extends all the way to the big holidays. Since I no longer live near my family or other folks who would similarly insist I celebrate holidays in flashy ways... I just... don't.

Like today, for instance. I slept in (score!) and my plan for the day is to grade a set of student papers. And I'm fine with that.

But... there is one thing that can get to me to let loose and go all out on a holiday. That thing?

YOU!

That's right... It's you, you crazy kids. I do silly, goofy, holiday-themed things because I think that you'll like them. So this morning when I finally did think about getting out of bed around 11am, it hit me. I could make a super tasty breakfast for myself and with a little adjustment... I could appear to give a hoot about the 4th of July.

Voila. Two birds. One stone. Six little red, white, and blue pancakes.

Now... if you're a better person than I am, you could probably color and flavor these pancakes with fruit purees and skip the Wilton colorings I used. If you do that... let me know how it goes. It was a touch odd eating technicolor pancakes that tasted like... normal buttermilk pancakes.

And though I'm not doing it big today, I am interested to know what the simple folk do. How are you celebrating your 4ths, kittens?

(To my kittens in Australia, Canada, England and elsewhere, you're not off the hook. I want to know what you're doing today too... just because I'm creepy like that.)

Happy 4th of July!

(for whatever that's worth to you and yours)

An Open Letter to My Dad

2010-06-20T09:02:00.004-04:00

Dear Dad,

I'm a horrible daughter. Or maybe just a horrible person, actually. I'll explain. I don't remember holidays. I don't remember birthdays, and if it weren't for my mother and Facebook, I'd probably never offer another well-timed Happy (Anything)! again.

Exhibit A: Yesterday I received a text from Mom that read: "Happy day of your brother's birth!" She's getting more subtle with the reminders, but I'm not getting any quicker on the uptake. (I did send Josh a Happy Birthday! text after that message, by the way. I got it covered.)

Part of this unawareness of birthdays and holidays is that I don't often think to get gifts for these occasions either. I've gotten pretty good at remembering to do Christmas stuff. But the other holidays? Sorry, nope. Father's Day is no exception, so it's a good thing you don't wear these.

So what's a forgetful, irreverent, states away daughter to do for her sensitive, funny, stand-up guy father on Father's Day?

Well... this one has decided to make a straightforward, minimally invasive list of the things she does because you are her dad.

1. Like you, I make (or buy) coffee in the morning and drink it all day long.

Now as a young (non-coffee drinking) child, I thought that you were nursing that one mug all day, but as a grown ass (need coffee for optimal performance) adult, I realize that you, like me, were likely refilling that mug as the day progressed. So cheers to our respective mugs of room temperature, black coffee.

Oh, and this is only semi-related, but when I think about your mug, I think about us driving to church, you planting the mug on the dash and returning to it after church like a smoker who's finally free of the building. So... cheers to finding a church that brews coffee in the lobby and encourages you to drink it during the service. Much better fit, in my opinion.

2. Like you, I see things (like the mug I posted above) and think to myself, "I could make that."

Now, am I right? Could I really make that mug? No... but I feel that if I were to watch enough Discovery channel programming and consult with someone who actually knew what they were doing (in this case, you), then yes I certainly could make such a simple, but ultimately cool, mug. But this "I could make that" reflex extends to all sorts of things. Shelving, craft projects, elaborate home improvements. More often than not, I see a task that most would agree deserves expert attention and I say, "I could make that."

The other night, while playing miniature golf with some friends, one friend attempted to mock me by referencing "that guy that builds the houses on PBS...?" Without skipping a beat and landing myself in a great position for more mockery, I asked if Bob Villa was perhaps the man he was searching for. Of course he was.

3. Like you, I (often involuntarily) ask "Who sings this?" when music is playing.

But there's a clear difference in the way you and I ask this question. You ask because you know the answer. For you it's like this great little quiz show taking place in our mini-van that none of us realized we were on until you threw the question out there. I don't know how you know who sang all of these songs and who their second drummer was, but there must be a special folder in your brain for this sort of thing. And I think Jessica would agree that one of the funniest things that has ever happened in real life was you providing the hint, "It rhymes with pickleback."

When I ask "Who sings this?" or "What are we listening to?" it's a fact finding mission. I've heard something I like and I would like to make sure that I hear more of it at some point in the future. When it comes to recognizing voices, sounds, hell even instruments, I'm no good. So, I need a name I can look up later. But... in reality, I'll probably forget anyway. The important thing though, is that I ask the question.

So, in summary, I may be states away, forgetting holidays and birthdays, and not calling as often as I should. But I'm also walking around with your mannerisms, making your jokes, and flashing peace signs to the motorcycle caravans that pass me on the road. That's pretty good, right?

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Love,

Amanda

PB Mocha Muffins and the Sniffles

2010-06-18T23:14:00.003-04:00

So I have quite a case of the sniffles. I know, I know. You care very much and would love nothing more than for me to talk about that at length.

But you know what, blogensteins, I'm not going to dwell on my sniffles.

Instead, I'm just going to show you these muffins, tell you where you can find the recipe, and then leave you to it.

Now just a word of warning. You will only like these muffins if you like coffee, chocolate, and peanut butter.

Secondary warning: If you don't like any one of those three ingredients, then you and I will need to re-evaluate our friendship. Just sayin.

One way you might get back into my good graces would be to buy me a regular sized cupcake pan. So I don't have to do things like this anymore.

Anyway... the recipe. You can find it here at Fat Girl Trapped in a Skinny Body. And, yes, we hate her, as it is almost as upsetting to be skinny as it is to be wealthy and happy. But she makes a good muffin, so we're working on forgiving her the unfortunate blog title.

And now, I'm going to finish watching Never Been Kissed and then go to bed. Yes, being sick sucks. But sleeping a lot without feeling like a lazy bum? That's not bad at all.

Hey, hey, it's a cupcake!

2010-06-06T00:35:00.001-04:00

And a sneaky one with a twist, at that. Look!

You see it? It's got a chocolate chip cookie bottom. Mmm... now that's decadent. And soooo easy.

Just make up a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and put about a half-inch layer of dough in the bottom of your well-greased cupcake tin. Cover the cookie bottom with cake batter (I used a homemade funfetti for these cupcakes.)

Bake at 350 until a toothpick comes out clean, and voila! You've got a cutie patootie cookie bottomed cupcake that turns out of the tin like a charm. If you look closely, you can see the very subtle line between the cookie and the cake.

I made just a few of these with some leftover ingredients as an experiment, but it worked so well that I'm excited to try it out with different flavor combinations. Like... a gingersnap bottom and a creamy peach cupcake. Or... a chocolate chip/oreo bottom and a cookies and cream cake. OR... an oatmeal cookie with a bright, strawberry cake.

Oh... this is just too good. If you'll excuse me, I'll probably be thinking about combinations for the next few days. Hmm... What combo would you try?

Failburgers

2010-06-03T22:58:00.005-04:00

Recently I've not been cooking for myself very much. I'm not quite sure why. I think it has to do with the ungodly heat in Georgia.

Or the fun I've been having outside my apartment. Or the fantastic restaurants that my foodie friends have been introducing me to.

Anyway, a friend demanded a blog post, so I scrounged up ye olde memory card, looking for something from the past that was fabulous but unblogged.

I found nothing.

That's not true. I found things, they just weren't good. But... I feel like blogging, so you guys can enjoy these failburgers from days gone by.

This muffin...

was cobbled together and ended up being a bland, whole wheat, lemon, lime, sour cream muffin. Like Mountain Dew... as a hearty breakfast food. Gross.

These handmade peirogi...

were so blah I tossed them out.

This mustardy potato, sausage, spinach salad...

was just that. And I didn't even think about the fact that I don't like two of those things until I tried to eat it.

This... this...

I have no idea what this is. But I think I remember it was good. I fell into a one pot place for a few weeks and everything looked kinda like this. But it all tasted fab. (Because I threw jalapenos in every pot.)

These egg-free banana chocolate chip cookies...

somehow sent some folks running for the loo. They were amazingly tasty. But... apparently the egg-free, dairy-free substitutions I made were... too much all at once?

Finally, these beautiful pancakes...

tasted like a salt lick.

So... I'm hoping that by showing you the seedy underbelly of food blogging, I'll inspire myself to get back in that kitchen and turn out something mouth-watering and delicious. Until then, loves, don't make my mistakes.

Daring Bakers: Croquembouche

2010-05-27T00:00:00.001-04:00

Wow. It's been a while. Like... nearly a year, a while. If I had gotten pregnant the day I posted my last Daring Bakers post, I would have had a 2 month old baby on my lap while I wrote this post. (I'll give us all a moment to collectively shudder at the thought of me with a baby...)

Okay... back? Good. Me too.

Like I was saying, I've been a slack Daring Baker since I moved to Georgia. But that all changes today. And I'm excited about that.

So... Hello, Daring Bakers! Hello, friends who read even when I'm not baking or baking daringly! Hello, extremely ambitious baked goods that I have no plans for consuming but will bake anyway just because it's fun! Let's get right to it.

The May 2010 Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Cat of Little Miss Cupcake. Cat challenged everyone to make a piece montée, or croquembouche, based on recipes from Peter Kump’s Baking School in Manhattan and Nick Malgieri.

Being me... I did exactly that. With just a couple of my own modifications, of course. If you want the original recipes, you can find them here.

First... I made the dairy-free version of the pastry cream. With dairy. Does that make any sense to you? Yeah... me neither.

I took a container of banana cream pie yogurt, added some confectioner's sugar to it, and then thickened it with cornstarch. It... worked. That's about all I can say for that.

Next, the dough for the choux pastry comes together really quickly on the stovetop.

After removing it from the heat, adding the eggs makes the dough less like play dough and more like a mashed potato consistency.

Even the piping is not bad. Throw that stuff in a couple of ziploc bags (I'm still out of piping bags. I know... for shame.) and you're good to go.

The baking bit is probably the most nerve-wracking, but luckily Alicia had told me to watch those things and bake them at a lower temperature than the recipe suggests. Mine came out perfectly.

Then it's just a matter of filling the profiteroles with the pastry cream (stuff, in my case) that has been chilled and building the croquembouche.

The building is tough too... My profiteroles were dipped in melted chocolate and then piled high. And... well... then they fell over while they were supposed to be chilling and setting in the refrigerator. As you can see here.

But! That's nothing a different angle with the camera can't fix. ; )

Oh, and the flavor of the things... Well. Hmph. They taste exactly how you'd imagine profiterole filled with thickened banana cream pie yogurt and dipped in chocolate to taste. Odd. Not bad, but not amazing either.

How-ev-er, I am very pleased with the fact that I am now a Daring Baker again. Maybe a struggling one, maybe a half-assed one, but a Daring Baker nonetheless.

It feels good.

But now I'm wicked tired. (Did I mention that I realized Wednesday, May 26th at 2pm that I needed to make this croquembouche post it in the next 10 hours? Well... that might have been how it went down.)

Dark Rye Bread: The Untasted Loaf of Mystery

2010-05-26T12:32:00.007-04:00

I received the following text message the other day:

"Been meaning to ask you... Have you ever made a dark rye bread?"

Now, some of you might have read that as a question. But, I'm willing to bet that there were also some of you (those of you a little bit more like me) who read that as the glove-slapping, gauntlet-laying challenge that it is. In my head, the text might have well said:

"Dark Rye Bread: GO!" or "Dark rye bread today. Make it happen."

I took the challenge and scoured the interwebs until I found Lady Disdain's Drama-Free Rye Bread. The title caught my eye, but the recipe won me over. It really did look drama free.

So I went to the health food store and picked up Wheat Germ and Dark Rye Flour. Went to the grocery store for molasses and caraway seeds, but alas they were out of the latter. Next time.

If you want to look at the recipe in all its traditional glory, head over to Lady Disdain's blog. If you want to see how I did it, then follow me.

I tossed these dry ingredients into the KitchenAid mixing bowl.

1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) dry yeast
1 cup dark rye flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tablespoon wheat germ
2 teaspoons salt
4 tablespoons buttermilk powder

I stirred it briefly, just to get everything mixed up.

In a small saucepan, I heated the following wet ingredients just enough to activate the yeast in the dry ingredients
1 cup water (to create buttermilk out of those 4 tablespoons of powder I used earlier)
3 tablespoons molasses
2 tablespoons canola oil

Slowly add to the dry ingredients and beat at medium speed.

Gradually add between 2/3 and 1 cup bread flour to create a slightly sticky dough.

Once the flour is incorporated, switch to the dough hook and let it knead for 8 minutes. This was the point at which I tweeted about how a bread machine is probably not in my future. I felt so odd passing off this part of the job on my KitchenAid. At this point in my life, I like the therapeutic aspects of kneading, I guess.

Anyway... Once that job was done, I placed the dough in a lightly greased bowl in a warm place (the closet my water heater lives in) to rise for an hour.

After that rise, I rolled the dough out on a lightly floured surface.

And then I rolled it up like a tight jelly roll (without the jelly, of course) and plopped it in a greased loaf pan to rise in a yet warmer place (my oven, heated to 150 and then turned off) for another hour and a half.

After that second rise, it mostly filled the pan. Next time I'll do both rises in my oven. I think I keep my house too cool for dough to really rise well without it. I thought it was getting warm enough to try again... but I'll just stick to what I know.

Lady Disdain's directions instructed me to bake the loaf for 35-40 minutes at 375 until the loaf is "well browned and sounds hollow when thumped on the bottom." Bakers... this question is for you: Do you honestly dump out your loaf just so you can tap it on the bottom to check for doneness? This seems so bizarre to me.

I didn't dump it out. I went by the "well browned" bit. I was afraid the top would burn and I know my oven runs hot... so my loaf came out at 25 minutes and looked like this.

So how did it taste? What did it look like on the inside? Was it cooked through?

Hmm... I'd love to know. I made this loaf for the texter I mentioned at the opening of this post. And... I gave it to him. But... he's busy and hasn't tried it yet. So... the results of my first attempt at a dark rye bread remain a mystery. Ah, well.

But... the construction of the bread was as drama-free as any bread I've ever made. The next time I'll just slice that sucker and make myself a reuben before I hand off the rest of the loaf.

Dark Rye Challenge: Met. (-ish)

Cheating on ice cream with...

2010-05-21T11:49:00.006-04:00

this guy?

Yap. And it's delicious.

Take a few frozen bananas, slice them up, toss them into a food processor (do as I say not as I do, the personal blender sucked for this task) with a dollop of Nutella (optional), and blend.

Voila. Frozen treat that you won't believe is just... fruit. Well... and Nutella. But Nutella is a fruit too, right?

Right. And since this cup of goodness is sooo ridiculously healthy, you can splurge with the toppings. Like... say...

Some of that leftover red velvet cookie dough? Yes... yes, I think that will do nicely.

Don't judge this treat by my poorly lit pictures. Go ahead and buy some bananas, peel and freeze those suckers, and try this for yourself. Next time I'm even skipping the Nutella. (o_O)

Vintage Vardrobe Vednesday

2010-05-19T07:29:00.003-04:00

See what I did there?

Maybe one day I'll give a blog tutorial on how to be perfectly witty on a regular basis. Until then, you should just try to smirk nonchalantly when you recognize my exercise of such skill(z). (See that! I just did it again! Ha.)

Where was I? Ah, right... a good vintage.

Let me tell you a bit about my good friend Blair.

Blair is a Southern belle, through and through. She has a husband, a dog, and an open door policy to friends and family looking for dinner, a glass of wine, a place to crash, or really anything else she can offer. Southern hospitality? She haz it.

She was born and raised in this here small town, and that fact is ridiculously obvious any time she is in public. ANY TIME. She will see someone she knows every single time I'm with her. This gives her a sort of local celebrity feel. She knows our waiter. She gets called out in checkout lines. We were kayaking (OUT OF TOWN), probably saw a total of 10 people other than ourselves, and she knew three of them.

She was proposed to about 8 times by 8 different people before she gave in to the right guy. And though 8 proposals surprised me, they don't anymore. She's quite the catch. Anyway... What's so vintage about Blair?

Her dress-up clothes. That's right. Doing some moving, reshuffling, reorganizing, Blair rediscovered the dress-up clothes that she'd been given by ~~grandmothers and~~ great grandmothers and great great great (I'm being serious... check Blair's comment on this post!) grandmothers to play with.

Luckily for me, this discovery was made while I was sitting on her couch. She unzipped a garment bag of goodness and my eyes got huge. She flipped through each of the dresses, showing me the different fancy bits, and telling me about the woman who wore them or what she used to pretend to be when she had them on. And, for a minute, I just stood and looked at them. In my head, I was wondering if I grabbed them up and ran if she'd be able to catch me before I got to my car. But I was also thinking, maybe these are the kind of vintage dress that people appreciate but don't actually wear anymore. Turns out both thoughts were silly (should have known) because when I timidly said, "Can I try one on?" Blair said, "Of course you can! Why do you think I pulled them all out?!"

So... between teacher training workshops, on a Tuesday, I played dress up at the age of 25.

The first one I grabbed was the most beautiful, in my opinion. I don't know what it is about me and a shiny blue dress, but I just can't help myself. When Blair pulled this one out, I wanted to die. She told me her grandmother felt very edgy in this number because of that flesh toned panel, and you know, I can see that.

I myself felt edgy for a number of reasons. First, it's not often that I wear something that fits so... glove-ish. Second, the corseting effect of that panel is a-ma-zing. And third, butt bows. Need I say more?

There were other dresses in the bag. One was a very pale pink, embroidered number that put young Blair in a very Alice in Wonderland place. That one did a similar here-is-my-waist-at-the-closest-it-will-ever-be-to-Scarlet-O'Hara's thing but the length was all wrong and my black bra was too.

There was a red number that was just not having any of my measurements, and there was a mink stole that... well... I don't know why we didn't get a picture of that stole. But I do have one last look to share. This... believe it or not... is a bathing suit.

(That dark circle below the armpit is a patch... not a sweat stain. Sorry... just couldn't let that go out into the interwebs without mentioning it.)

Blair and I don't know what decade this one comes from, but it was her ~~great grandmother's~~ great great great grandmother's bathing suit. Her ~~great grandmother~~ great great great grandmother wore it on the beach, her ~~grandmother~~ great grandmother wore it as a costume, and I would wear it as a dress. And a darn cute one at that! I would probably forego the bloomer like pants that accompany it, but those sadly aren't around anymore anyway.

While I was trying on each of these dresses, my first reaction in each of them was to laugh at myself. It cracked me up to put on such legit dresses that Blair used to play in as a kid. Well... for one thing... I was surprised that I could pour myself into them. For another, these dresses are so classily pretty. Even the bathing suit.

So... now I'm sitting on my bed, eyeing my dresses and wondering if 70 or 80 years down the road anyone will even look twice at my ratty old dresses. I don't even know if my T.J.Maxx filled wardrobe will last 50 years honestly.

What has happened to our clothes?! Where have all the flowers gone?!?

(Too much?)

Just a day in the life...

2010-05-16T16:25:00.003-04:00

I don't have anything terribly witty or sugary to give you right now. What I do have is an early morning conversation with a friend. She'll forgive me. I hope.

Anyway... the other day I woke up angry. And with a very clear reason for that anger. Poor Bridget was online... so... the following conversation happened.

The "me" is... well... me.

And this is why we're friends.

Ugh. And if, by reading my lyrical representation of that godforsaken song, you've gotten it stuck in your head too... then I'll give you the trick Bridget gave me shortly after we settled this authorial bit.

Yellow Submarine

You're welcome.

A Stately Graduation Cake

2010-05-14T00:01:00.001-04:00

Doesn't my friend Danny look like an angel?

Well, he is. But this post isn't about him. So go ahead and forget about that note.

What this post is about is the cake in Danny's hands, so let's get on with it. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Alicia asked me to help her make a graduation cake for our friend Paul. He's the one in the middle there. His girlfriend, Ashley (on right), told us he liked fruit flavors and LOVED the margarita cupcakes he got as a reward for playing designated driver for Girls Night.

Well, I'm not one to mess with a good thing. (If you know me at all, you know how completely untrue that is. I mess with good things like it's my job. Hmm... and in a month or so it may be... but let's not get into that. Anyway... it was exam week and I had to make two cakes. For Friday night parties. So this one time, I didn't mess with a good thing.)

I made one - extremely level - 9x13 layer margarita cake, cut it in two halves, and layered them to make one 6.5x9 cake.

And remember when Alicia asked me to "help" her with the cake? Well... what we very quickly decided that meant was that I would bake the cake and she would decorate it. It seemed like the perfect arrangement. I got to do the fun part, and she'd do the pesky fondant, finishing stuffs.

Alicia has a different idea about what should classify as "the fun part," which is exactly why this arrangement worked like a charm.

So I got to play prep baker. I dirty iced, I chilled, and then I did a thicker layer of icing to cushion the fondant. And I chilled again until Alicia picked the cake up Friday morning. And what did the fondant fairy put together for the graduate?

The California flag. Yep. And a darn good one at that. And it only took her 40 minutes, start to finish. That's pretty dang impressive.

And... the celebrants agreed. Some of them may have even taken forks to the thing. But I can assure you that I was not one of those people. I am much classier. Related: That's also not my bedazzled flask in the background there, giving me away. I swear.

Alright, alright, it's in my closet!*

Anyways... collaborating with Alicia on this cake was too much fun. Baking and icing was a breeze since I didn't have to worry about the visual aesthetics. I just paid attention to baking and icing a delicious little cake. And I loved it. I foresee future collaborations...

*Family inside joke. Basically, me and Danny were the biggest offenders when it came to treating the cake as our own personal portion. Sorry, Danny, but I'm totally taking you down with me!

Week of Wardrobe: Inspiration Strikes!

2010-05-12T07:00:00.003-04:00

Last week I found a new-to-me blog that soaked up a full two hours of my Monday. Was it worth it? Absolutely. That amazingly inspirational blog is Skinny's FitforaFemme. Skinny's wardrobe is perfect. It's inventive, chic, retro, and saucy, all at the same time. The same could be said for the blog layout itself too. I'm beyond jealous.

So while I looked through the archives on Monday, I decided that I needed a bit more style in my life. Now, if I tried to go from zero to Skinny in no time flat, I'm pretty sure I'd pull something. I mean, come on, the girl wore this outfit on moving day. But... I did my best. I pulled the skirts and dresses to the front of the closet and dusted off the heels. I also embraced the jewelry I usually eschew.

Monday

In all honesty, this outfit was put together after my workday for Happy Hour with the girls. But... this was my first attempt at a FitforaFemme inspired look. And Alicia told me I looked "very pin-up." Alll-riiiight.

Tuesday

On Monday, while looking through the blog, I promised a friend that I would wear a skirt the next day, come hell or high water. Well, wouldn't you believe it, we had torrential downpours all. damn. day. But... a promise is a promise! So I took my car to the shop in the pouring rain in a light pink denim skirt and paisley rainboots.

Wednesday

Nothing says, "I got this" like a DIY obi belt. Nothing says, "Don't mind me" like a Biology teacher necklace and a Joseph Smith approved shrug. Combining these stuffs for final exams just seemed like the right thing to do.

Thursday

I felt very hip and femme in this multi-patterned, multicolored look. And it's a good thing... because I completely lost all color on...

Friday

Blair picked out this cheetah patterned, Mad Men inspired, Calvin Klein number for me. I added the bow flats and bold bracelet to pull together the Flintstones feel. What do you think, Kate? Is a Starbucks cup still the perfect accessory?

(Friday continued...)

One of my students broke bad on Friday. And it was absolutely hot as blazes in GA. I got home around 5pm, exhausted and aggravated as hell. But... I have a feeling that one last accessory can improve both the outfit and the outlook...

Ahhh, yes. Much better. No offense, Kate, but I think this jewel encrusted flask of scotch is better than any Starbucks cup I've ever seen. This girl is now ready for the rounds: Happy Hour, a birthday party, and a graduation party. (You've seen the birthday cake. Keep an eye out for the graduation one!)

Saturday

See what I mean about the color waving goodbye on Thursday? I didn't realize it until I was putting this post together, but boy was the end of my week a drag. I'd like to defend myself by pointing out that Friday's shirt has a silk bow collar that you can't see in the poor lighting, but you and I both know I wore the same jeans both days. Stuff happens.

To buck up a bit, I took the clippers to my hair Saturday morning. But... I bet you can't even tell. Most every day this week I ended up pinning my bangs back or under so they wouldn't be driving me crazy, so the visible change is more subtle than the piles of hair on my bathroom floor would suggest.

So... some conclusions on my FitforaFemme inspired Week of Wardrobe:

+ Purposefully dressing like a girly girl is hard work.
+ I need more clothes. And shoes. And jewelry. And eye makeup.
+ Dresses are the GA girl's best friend. A friend let me in on this conclusion, actually, but I plan to run with it.
+ My kitchen posing leaves A LOT to be desired. A. Lot.

Annd... if you missed them, here are my previous Week of Wardrobe posts, complete with links to my sister's WoW posts.

A Chocolate Peanut Butter Birthday

2010-05-10T08:50:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

Seriously. Try to tell me that isn't one sexy cake.

It's fine. Don't hurt yourself trying. I know you can't, in good conscience, act like that cake is just okay. (Am I getting a bit puffed up? You are more than welcome to smack me.)

Anyways...

This three layered chocolate peanut butter cake is not a first run cake for me. I made it last summer and carved it into a hot tub. But... this occasion called for a more traditional presentation. So I layered the rich chocolate cake with creamy peanut butter buttercream.

And coated the whole thing with that very same icing, reserving just a bit for later. And then... ooooh... and then... I made up a thick semi-sweet chocolate ganache with a healthy dose of peanut butter melted in.

I let it cool a bit so it wouldn't completely get away from me, and then I poured it over the top and encouraged a little over the sides. Just enough to look tempting and rich, but not enough to cover all of that gorgeous buttercream.

Finally, I fit a piping bag with a star tip and filled it with the leftover buttercream. Next time I'll add more sugar to this decorative buttercream so I can have big, poofy pillows of buttercream on top. These stars are a bit retiring.

Despite the retiring stars, no one complained about this festive bit of decadence. The birthday boy, who requested something rich and chocolate on par with this blast from the past, was beyond pleased. Just today I received a text in which he proclaimed me a "miracle baker." Well... I don't know about all that... but I sure can follow a recipe. ; )

By the way, how do you like the birthday boy's cake slicer?

Dear Mom,

2010-05-09T10:18:00.003-04:00

Something random that always, always reminds me of you: the sound of teeth on thick plastic.

TELEFONA on deviantART

French braids on long haired little girls require two hands, but precision in the aforementioned braids requires a comb. So... while your hands worked, your teeth held the comb. Back and forth it went. The bite on the comb making the exact same noise every time.

(I couldn't find a yellow one. But I tried really hard.)

As much as I love this crisp, hollow little noise, my buzzed head hadn't thought about it for years. Until I was putting away some laundry in my grown ass home. One of my fussy, grown ass shirts was refusing to cooperate and I accidentally discovered that these hangers, when bitten, make exactly the same noise.

Only these though. The skinnier ones are different, and the metal hooked ones are only good if you enjoy memories of being a large-mouth bass.

So... there you have it, Mom. I love my hair short and I can't imagine it any other way, but every once in a while, I wouldn't mind sitting backwards on the closed toilet seat and having you braid my hair. My biggest concern being which one of these I would end up with.

All my love,

Amanda

Rock me, Mama, like a...

2010-05-02T12:56:00.000-04:00

Wagon Wheel!

I made the above goodness based loosely on my girl Marilla's Three Cheese Spirals. And today... I just want to nom the hell out of them.

Sadly, I made (and ate) them about four weeks ago.

Oh Baby, Baby, Baby (Cookies)

2010-04-30T21:29:00.008-04:00

Alright... I guess I've put this off long enough.*

You may or may not remember when I lost my mind over some royal icing in a condiment squeeze bottle. Well... that went down while I was painstakingly (it really wasn't that bad) piping out the decorations for these subtle, white on yellow cookies.

But these were no decorate-for-the-heck-of-it cookies. No ma'am. These cookies had a purpose. An inspiration. A (horrors!) deadline.

My friend Katie is having a baby and my friend Blair was throwing a shower. So... the only smart thing for me to do for both of them was... well... bake.

And since I'd recently seen this post on monogrammed cookies, I thought I'd try my hand at some flowers and swirlies.

I think they turned out really well. The flooding (the yellow base icing) was not my best work. I let the piped edge dry too much before I filled the cookies in, so you can see where one stops and the other begins. Not an eye sore, I don't guess, but also not amazing.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must say that I had about an hour and a half to flood these cookies before I was picked up for a Project Runway finale festivus. I might have left the house in heels and a shiny blue dress, but I'm pretty sure I had some icing on my arm. You can take the girl out of the kitchen, but you can't take the kitchen out of the girl.

Anyway... the next day, the cookies were shoved in a big Ziploc bag for the 3 hr roadtrip to Katie's. They made it without incident and I think they went over pretty well.

If you want to know the details of how these cookies came to be, you can find it all right here.

Brownie Roll Out Cookies & Royal Icing recipes
Monogrammed Cookie tutorial

Oh... and I also helped the girls bake iced tea, margarita, and coconut lemon snowball mini cupcakes.

So... if you have a baby shower that needs catering... Call me. ;)

*It's an inside joke, but I'll let you in on it since we're friends. An admittedly odd friend's wife once prefaced her "Hi, I'm _______" with that very sentence. She had invited me to her house, but she made it extremely clear that meeting me was not high on her list of anticipated experiences. That fateful night still cracks me up. It ended worse than it began, if you can believe it.

The Suspense is terrible...

2010-04-29T23:07:00.002-04:00

I hope it will last.

It was brought to my attention that my last post read like an end-of-semester meltdown. Well. Since that wasn't really my intent... I thought I'd follow that post with another on just exactly why this week is AWESOME.

+ I have a new friend. And she's nearly a pharmacist. (Therefore... cooler than you.)

+ I've gotten to watch The Golden Girls three nights this week.

+ I updated ye olde CV and now it's in God and my boss's hands.

+ The weather in GA is beyond fab.

+ A friend is visiting this weekend. There are already pool plans.

+ My stack of ungraded papers has been chiseled down to 13.

+ My car just needed a good night's rest and a full tank of gas.

+ Blair had leftover cupcakes on her counter today. She may have four fewer now than she did when I found them. (Shut up... they were mini cupcakes. And besides, who are you to judge me anyway?)

+ I huggled two different dogs today.

+ My credit card bill came to a humorous nine dollars and sixty two cents. Big spender!

+ I heard "Mr. Big Stuff" and Billy Joel's "My Life" on the radio in the same, 9 minute car trip.

So there! You happy now? I think... Yes, I think that this list might have been easier to come up with than the downer one. Oh! But I forgot something...

+ It's the last week of classes!

Scenes from our next episode...

2010-04-28T19:40:00.004-04:00

I decorated these. In a pretty serious way. And soon I'll give you the dirty (read: extremely clean and even kinda cutesy) details.

But not now.

Now I'm going to tell you exactly why this week sucks.

+ My car has a cough.

+ I lost my wallet (for a minute, but it wasn't ever really gone).

+ I've been putting off a trip to Walmart for weeks. I went today but... I thought I'd forgotten my wallet and didn't go in.

+ I've read a little over 2/5 of my students' final papers. Can't tell you for sure b/c I left my gradebook in the office.

+ My hair is an awkward length.

+ Today I had pickles for lunch.

+ I've started drinking coffee again and it's all I think about.

+ So far this week, I've left my headlights on twice. Both times nice people have told me within 5 minutes (Represent, GA!).

+ Justin Bieber's mom fell victim to a Belieber stampede today.

+ It's the last week of classes.

+ It's the last week of classes.

+ It's the last week of classes.

How are your weeks, loves?

Do I have a problem?

2010-04-25T22:32:00.003-04:00

Or a really impressive, 43 pair collection?

Related: My walk-in closet doesn't have a lot of room for walking.

Also related: Maybe if the economy takes my job, I can become a reality tv star.

Worth considering.

Help me out... Give me a frame of reference. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Video Post: Straw that broke the camel's back, I guess.

2010-04-20T20:46:00.004-04:00

I'm a rational person. I keep it on the level. I'm not easily chuffed.

That said... I don't hesitate to share what's on my very rational, very straightforward mind.

That's exactly what happened today while the camera rolled...

Sorry about the angle... you got a lot of chest and only half of my head. I realize that... but I was focusing on the icing until the rant began. Hey... I'm just taking my cues from the professionals.

Like Giada...

This chick... (anyone know?)

Rachael Ray...

and I can't mention Food Network cleavage without my nemesis, Sandra Lee...

Holy Cow. Anyway... see... you came to my blog to see what I was yammering about... but then you got the fringe benefit of cleavage. Don't say I don't love you, reader.

This Weekend I...

2010-04-19T14:43:00.006-04:00

Read chapter one (and learned why I can't stand blank, unresponsive faces).

RSVPed (and came up with a great idea for sugar that involves neither pink or blue).

Bought this personal blender (and admitted that my smoothie phase may be my obsessive way of accounting for the coffee and beer slashed from my diet last week).

And...

Cleaned my kitchen (and discovered I'm out of sandwich-sized Ziploc bags, leading to today's disaster of salad dressing transportation).

I also made disaster brownies, cuddled with a dog named Lola, ate two really great meals cooked by men, vacuumed up that damn roach, and made two dates for this evening, but I can't quite take pictures of those things during office hours, now can I?

Cinnamon Roll Cheesecake

2010-04-16T10:19:00.001-04:00

This weekend, I made a Cinnamon Roll Cheesecake. I think I'll let the pictures (and Facebook comments from friends) speak for themselves.

Blair: "Yeah, that was basically amazing. Must wait until tomorrow for a second peice . . ."

Katie: "Come to Momma."
Scott: "Katie, you have nooooo idea."

Scott: "Your cinnamon roll cheesecake was a hit with the guys today. They better be glad my parents taught me to share, cause I didn't want to. Each requested their wife be given the recipe at seperate times. You basically rock."

The only thing better than spending the day putting together a five-layered cheesecake is giving it away to happy eaters like mine.

Wow... and after that uncharacteristically sentimental confession... I'll rebound by saying that the day that I watched these Facebook comments roll in, I also ate probably about a lb. of leftover cheesecake while I graded papers.

And... then... the next day when I had my fitness consultation at the new gym, I realized why cheesecaking like that is such a poor life choice. : ) But, I promise you that - in moderation - this cinnamon roll cheesecake is an amazing experience that you should probably have soon.

April Fools!!! (Burger & Fries)

2010-04-14T11:58:00.000-04:00

I hate April Fools Day. Hate it. More than Valentine's Day (which I don't fully hate, truth be told). April 1st makes me nervous. This year I accidentally scheduled student conferences over April Fools Day and breathed a deep sigh of relief when the day ended and not one of my students did anything stupid.

What does any of this have to do with the burger?

Not much. Only that I made it in April. And there is no meat to be had in this Bacon Cheeseburger. Honest.

Watch. We'll start from the bottom.

One whole wheat English muffin, toasted in the panini press.

One chargrilled Boca burger, fried up in a little bit of oil in a skillet. A piece of pepper jack cheese on top.

Two strips of facon.

English muffin top.

I'm sure you're skeptical. I mean, I was. I'm a fan of the meatless products, but I don't put too much stock in them. They are usually blandish, rubbery, or otherwise just passible as foodstuffs. How-ev-er, this burger was excellent. Frying it up allowed it to brown really well and cook without being tough or soggy. And you all know how I feel about facon. So... as you can see... I started noming on this burger as soon as I assembled it. About 10 minutes later...

the fries were done and made a quick stop on some paper towels before being piled high on my plate. And there is a little April Fools-like twist to the fries too. They aren't potatoes, as you can tell, but they aren't sweet potatoes either. Those are carrot fries. And they are amazingly delicious.

To make them, just cut carrots into fry shapes, toss in olive oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake at 425 for about 25 minutes, flipping them once at the midpoint, and then... eat them all. I used three big carrots for this one portion and it was perfect.

Oh em gee. This was a really great meal.

A Note about Vegetarianism: Sunday night when I mentioned this meal to friends, Blair scoffed at it and informed me that our continued friendship hinged on my continued enjoyment of actual meat. Just in case some of you are ready to take your carnivorous ways elsewhere, I'll say that I love animals and I love eating them.

And... as a matter of fact, thanks to Blair, I sucked on my first crawfish head this weekend. And went back for more. So there's that.

Cranberry Walnut Bread Leftovers

2010-04-11T23:27:00.003-04:00

So did you come up with your guesses for my Cranberry Walnut Bread leftovers?

Evan got one of them. So he gets all the points.

With my half loaf of Cranberry Walnut bread, I made...

French toast in the usual way.

and...

Bread Pudding a la Pioneer Woman. I went without the Whisky Cream Sauce this time and none of my coworkers complained.

Both were quite delish. The bread pudding was bomb. Make it now. ; )

Step-by-Step Braided Bread

2010-04-09T13:30:00.007-04:00

It's been a while since I wrote up a labor-intensive step-by-step post of a complicated kitchen endeavor. Well, good sirs and madams, wait no longer. What follows is the 11 pic procedure for baking a gorgeous loaf of braided bread. I made the Cranberry Braided Bread by Two Fat Als with only minor changes.

Whisk 3 c. bread flour, 1/4 c. sugar, 2 envelopes quick-rising yeast, 1 1/4 tsp salt, and 2 T buttermilk powder together in a large bowl.

Add 1/2 c. water, 2 eggs, 2 T melted butter, 1 1/2 T vanilla extract and stir until combined. Gradually add 1/3 c. hot water until the dough forms a soft, sticky ball.

Knead dough until smooth. This will take about 7 minutes. Mine wasn't uber-smooth but I knew I'd keep kneading it in the next step.

About 1/4 c. at a time, knead 1 c. cranberries and 1/2 c. chopped walnuts into the dough.

Place dough ball in lightly greased bowl, cover with plastic wrap and a dish towel, and place in a warm place to double in size, about an hour and a half. (While kneading the dough, I heated the oven to about 200 degrees and then turned it off. The residual heat works like a dream.)

See what I mean? Punch down the dough and...

divide it into four equal(ish) parts. Set one part aside and roll the other three into about 13'' long snakes.

Braid the three dough snakes together and turn both ends under. Move the braided loaf to a lightly greased baking sheet. Beat one egg and brush the braided loaf.

Divide your remaining dough ball into three equal parts and roll them into about 10" snakes. Braid the snakes and place this smaller braid on top of the larger. Brush the small braid with egg and allow the loaf to rise a second time, about another hour or so.

After the second rise, brush the loaf with the beaten egg again and bake for 45 minutes at 325 degrees.

And it's just that easy. Two Fat Als insist that you allow the loaf to cool for at least 45 minutes before you slice it, but that didn't happen for me. I was already late to the party since I mis-timed the rises, so I hack the loaf in half and ran out the door. No one was any the wiser.

The bread itself was quite good. The cranberries brought a sweetness to the bread that was refreshing. I'm sure this would have only been bettered by the orange extract that Two Fat Als used (I substituted vanilla extract here), but I didn't have any of that in the house. For me, the bread toed the troublesome line between sweet and... bread... so the next day I used the second half of my loaf to make two other dishes.

I bet regular readers already know what those two dishes were. I'm nothing if not consistent. (I'd appreciate any comments to the contrary. Things like "No way, Amanda! One of the things I love about you is your spontaneity!" will do nicely.)

Video Post: A Response to Blogger Beef

2010-04-05T20:42:00.002-04:00

Last week when I made my little Yeasty Bidness video, I might have sassed Kate a little. And, Kate might have fired back with a surprisingly pointed video in which she informed me that we had beef.

Well.

Never one to ignore a glove to the face (and I'm not talking boxing glove, I'm talking gentleman's glove... like a formal challenge among dandies), I present you (and Kate) with my humble response.

Enjoy.

And just to remind you all that I do know my way around some yeast:
Yeast Pancakes
Sticky Buns
Honey Whole Wheat Bread

Strawberry Shortstacks

2010-04-03T14:26:00.004-04:00

Mmmmm... delicious sleep of the weekend. How I love it.

I meant to put together an overnight yeast pancake batter before I went to bed last night, but I forgot about it when I decided to turn in around 11pm. No worries though! This morning, I met some friends at the farmer's market and before I ran out the door, I mixed up this recipe for Yeast Pancakes* so it could do its thing while I browsed.

Please note the little yeasty beasts in the dry ingredients.

So you don't get worried if you make these yeast pancakes on your own, I'll tell you that the batter (when it first comes together) is extremely thin and liquidy.

See?

Ah, but after a couple of hours, the batter is a bit thicker and definitely weirder. After I gave it a quick stir, it looked like normal pancake batter.

While I fried up the pancakes in the usual way, I cooked down some strawberries in a little bit of sugar. I threw in some cornstarch at the end to thicken the juices and... voila!

Strawberry Shortstacks.

I layered the strawberry sauce between the pancakes too... just because I felt like it. It was a delicious Spring-is-here-and-Summer-is-around-the-corner! breakfast.

*If you use this recipe, I'd recommend cutting the amount of salt in half. I thought it looked like too much when I was adding it, but I checked the recipe again and decided to trust it. The pancakes were a bit saltier than I'd prefer. This was another reason I schmeared the strawberries throughout. I also made some subtle Amanda changes to this recipe by swapping out the whole milk in favor of soy and replacing a third of the white flour with whole wheat flour. It's how I roll.

Cranberry Walnut (Fail) Bagels

2010-04-01T08:00:00.002-04:00

If you caught yesterday's post on my bagel flub-up, then you can probably guess where this post is going. : )

My cranberry walnut bagels are... tasty... but, as improperly yeasted bagels will be, they are flattish.

The flavor is great and actually pretty close to the Panera original, so I'll try these bagels again with the proper Active Dry yeast. Lesson learned!

Overall, I count this bagel-making experience as a success, despite the yeast faux pas, because the bagels are 1) beautiful and 2) breakfast for the next two days. Allllright.